Message Board Recovery

We are now in Medina, we are both dressed in our best--Helen looks beautiful, We both look rich.

I opened my jewelry boxes and we had so much fun decking ourselves out with chains and pearls .

We are at the guard house now.

An armed guard is quizzng us.

Who are we?

"Helen Wisocki and Alice Crooker."

He wants our ID.

We hand over our drivers licenses.

"Why are we there?"

We are seeking donations for the Virginia Mason Hospital, Foundation in Seatttle, WA.

We are two highly eminent authors seeking to present our acclaimed books to Mr. Gates

"Do we have any weapons?"

"No."

After a through search of our car whch turns up nothing more or less than a duck, a sheepskin rug and the Access Review, we are quizzed about the Access Review.

"What is it?"

"Medtronics therapy controller."

With a ," Make sure Bill sees this we are waved on."

This place is unbelievable, Alice. Look, there are hundred dollar bills as wallpaper!

Capitol!

The caper is over and we prevailed big time.
Here is what happened:

We parked our Prius waved at Dave who was wating on the lake and entered the house.

Bill was so charming and friendly We talked for about 10 minutes when Helen turned my batteries off, I went into the anticipated fit.

Bill looked so surprised and started to laugh when Helen told him we were robbing him.

He said, "You are not robbers, you are comedans."

We both started to cry
The more we cried the harder he laughed at us.

Finally we turned on his computer and brought him to this thread.

He read it all and stopped laughing.

He said, I am gonna give you 20 billion to be distributed as follows:

LC--One billion
E Don--Two billion-extra is for singing
Ann-One bllion
DK --One billion
Sue--One bllion
Phil--One billion
Lane --One billion
Marie--Two billion-extra for suffering with haunta virus vaccine.
Dick--One billion
Abe --One bllion

Helen--Two billion--extra for robbery attempt amusement

dmondeo--Two billion--extra for kndness and graitude shown to Dr. Alice

Shelagh--three billion--extra for running the forum

Dr Alice--One billion--he hated my lectures also. I declined my billion--wouldn't want to forgo my paltry disability check.

He said he'd give t to VM Foundation.

He gave us a box full of laptops, Marie ,you get first choice

Thanks, all--hope that helped in your recovery . Gotta run--Shuttle Express will be here in eighteen hours and I need to summon it plus return Helen to the airport. My feet have to be done

Enjoy!

152/909

Add my billion to it, Marie, and we can buy the whole state. I'll take Wheeling and the entire panhandle, all the rest is yours.

Enjoyed the caper, Alice! Call me any time you want to do it again.

Wow, can I ever use a billion dollars! Thanks , Alice. You're a peach!

Ann

But you'll be on the sunny side of the mountain and I'll be on the shady side of the hill.
It's been a while since I've heard that one.

I am personally proud to know so many billionaires.

My feet are perfect and I have eight hours before the shuttle comes.

"Inch by inch life is a cinch."

Be kind to yourself by being kind to each other--after all you can now, all afford it.

Be the most kind to Shelagh. She is a human also.

Later,

Dr. Malice

"She is human also." ... but not as we know it, Jim.

I've had a little time to consider my newly acquired wealth and the first thing I am going to do is compensate those swindled by Madoff. I will allocate $2.9 billion. I'll decide what to do with the remainder later.

As unlikely as it may seem, I got it wrong. The lyrics of that song were: "She lived on the morning side of the mountain and he lived on the twilight side of the hill."
Or something like that.

Dear Alice,

I am glad you are back. I have thought about this topic for a couple of weeks.

I have no opinion.

I am happy.
Boring, I know.

Love,
Betty

Woe is me--the best most creative thing I ever posted was deleted-- I am totally undone.

Who will help me?

Does anyone care?

Not a bit. Alice totally undone is like Dick bursting into laughter. Won't happen.

I decided you are right; we have humoured him (one, two. three -- I've lost count) long enough.

Close it? There's no chance that any of you lot will recover completely. Won't happen.

Shelagh,

As long as you are hanging out with the rest of us, you know there's no hope for you to recover either. Besides anyone who has put as much time into messageboards as you have is beyond recovery.

And all the above is a good thing for the rest of us.

Love, Carol

You are not helping me. Where is my bed, food, coffee ,slippers, poems

songs? Billions of dollars?

I work day and night caring for you, even robbing people and this is my return?

I must be too long--that's it no one cares because I am not short and cute and can't sing or rhyme.

Oh well there is no†hing new under the sun.

Dear Alice,
You are a wonder, and that is the truth. If I could be as long as you, I would have reached Julie Bell's height. She was six foot one long. As I remember her, she had lovely red hair and eyebrows that were almost white. She played tennis with me. I hope she married rich because she would have killed them making them so. I loved Julie Bell.

I do not think anyone ever called me cute. I sing to kill the roaches and my rhymes are..well you have read some of them.

Recovery rooms can do nothing for me. Once in a while I get a little scratch from a messageboard, but mostly I put on band-aid and go read a book.


You are a real beaut. I mean that from my hearts bottom.

Love,
Betty

Marie, Betty, Shelagh,and Carol,


Thanks all for nothing. After hours of no food or water or pills--I left. See ya around.
For crying out loud, Why didn't anyone even think to offer me a pea to eat?
I will never come here again.

Marie,

Bless you! I have left. I have to take pills every four hours throughout the day. Then there s the matter of eating..

Too difficult

The only things you have left is the peas on your plate. Left indeed!

New title for this thread: "Women Gone Around the Bend"

Way around the bend.

Dick Stodghill wrote:

New title for this thread: "Women Gone Around the Bend"

Dick,

I wonder why we went around the bend?
You men are so busy spending your billion and living high on the hog--you don't care about us.
Carol and Betty didn't get any money and at at least were trying to help me