I am ready for the fire...I think.

CC

Just me, but I'm thinking that, no matter the storyline and justification, using the N word in a query is asking for a rejection.

Ann

I agree, Ann. I accepted a short story for the anthology with the N word used in dialogue. The writer is in his mid-thirties, and he was writing about a group of teenagers. I took the view that the word was still in use among young people and, therefore, allowed it. Not everyone would take the same view, so why risk it in a query?

cc

How amazing! You display considerable angst if your advice is eschewed.
Why not follow well-meant advice offered to you?

I can't get past the word. It is terribly offensive to me.

That's good, Alice. Writers want to evoke passion from readers. The skill is in not overusing the word. That's when readers turn off and stop reading. My advice was to leave it out of the query, not out of the book.

Btw, I hate the word "bitch" in reference to a woman. I find it just as offensive, but it is in everyday use and it would be churlish to remove it from dialogue. The word makes me cringe -- but so does violence and a whole host of other things that add to the authenticity of dialogue. Something we have to accept.

cc

I don't have a problem with the n word in a query. Once, though. Not five times. Dr. Laura wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble if she had shut up after the first. I have more problems with the rest of it.

Quote :

Will Rogers bent the nail when he said, “I use only one set method
in my little gags, keep to the truth.” I use the same set method in my
stories, keep to the truth. Sit back, warm yourself with thick Southern
coffee…hold tight to your seat…the Cricket Mississippi Law School is
about to assign guilt to someone on trial for murder. The Second Monkey
Trial is about more than just the guilty; it's a journey into “who we
think we are.”

My opinion:

This is irrelevant rambling. Will Rogers has nothing to do with anything, and who cares that you use the same "set method." Don't tell the agent to sit tight and drink strong Southern coffee, he's probably reading it on his phone as he's walking somewhere. Maybe incorporate it somewhere else, I do like the imagery. Start with "The Cricket Law school..." But even there, there are too many words, and I don't understand what the sentence means. I think you mean the school is about to assign guilt to a student for a mock trial. Is that correct? If so, it needs to be said more elegantly. The journey into who we are should be at the very end.

Quote :

Scars of the Civil Rights Movement burst into flames deep within Odysse Jefferson

Inelegant. Also, you don't need to tell us that it's a mob of white students. That's implicit.

Quote :

who sets out to destroy the little town of Cricket Mississippi, and two men
who murdered his friend, Elishah Washington…only to find beast of the past are
uncontrollable.

Not sure what you mean. Odysse wants to destroy Cricket because two men there murdered his friend? But he's not because beasts of the past are uncontrollable?

Quote :

Beast of the past will eat it’s host from the inside. Can Jefferson
stop what he started

What did he start? You just said he's got that beast thing keeping him from whatever he wants to do in Cricket. Or something.

I think you are getting there. Passion is coming through the words. But they need to be strung together tighter and more elegantly.

cc

No. Why?

cc

cc

I agree that you would avoid universal offensive words in a query letter, or in narrative for that matter, but surely never in dialogue; within context. What next? burning books?

I was unable to follow this thread.  Everything the responders referenced was deleted. 
Is the author of the thread saying that he regrets having made his post?

Abe, the last post on this thread was Nov, 2012...are you asking I recall back that far why I removed my post? What were you doing back in Nov 2012?

My mistake.  I didn't check to see when the posts were made.  I can remember details of the past, but not the date that they happened.

My bad    Caught hanging around the graveyard again!

vmaxnick wrote:

I agree that you would avoid universal offensive words in a query letter, or in narrative for that matter, but surely never in dialogue; within context. What next? burning books?

It is a grey area. Even in dialogue, some readers object to certain words. It makes life as an editor difficult ... 'though interesting!

Shelagh, if your life wasn't difficult, you wouldn't be interesting.   

Sorry for dragging the bone yard again but surely, no word is taboo within context. If I was a young black adult author writing about young black youths growing up in a disadvantaged area and perhaps (for reference only not attempting to stereotype) involved in the gang/drug culture. That word is going to feature a lot, to miss it out would be absurd.
 All three of my books feature ex-servicemen/bikers, and their vocabulary can be pretty shameful at times, but to apply censorship would be to portray the characters falsely