Carol's Journal: A D- in self cheerleading

Today, we left for the radiation clinic in Baraboo about 7:00, My grandson spent the night and decorated the tree. I'll try to provide a photo, but I am glad to have a tree up. He did a good job.

Today the radiation oncology staff deserve A+ for encouragement, pain management techniques and studying in detail the next step in the process of radiation, to do it right to help my bones heal and help me walk again.

Today I deserved a D- in self cheerleading. All last night my leg hurt and after probably taking way too much pain killer, which killed the pain but also my positive nature, cheerful positive medical professionals who know a whole lot more about this than I do have said they are not only going to help me get to our anniversary party, but I could even walk in.

So I'm trying new pain meds, patches to keep the pain under control without ups and downs, and my general attitude of positive thinking that you all see but somehow left me in a state of poor me today.

So tomorrow I go to Madison to have the plan for radiation mapped out to help my bones, and then begin radiation sessions on Thursday.

I was ashamed to say I'd been a mental health worker. What was I thinking? I have to believe, in the medical profession, in God, in the angels spinning round me with blessings. I have to believe in my friends and all their prayers.

Carol

Tomorrow's another day. Tom will make your breakfast and fuss over you as we wait here for your next post. Slowly but surely your leg will improve and you'll be able to join in and enjoy the celebrations.

I hope they get your pain under control. Your attitude is not the problem--the pain is.

Love ya,


Alice

Dear Carol,
I see you shining there. You have always had a glow about you. Perhaps it is the glow of compassion and hope that you have always given people who needed it, but it is shining brightly this night. I wish I could change your world and ease your pain, and that my magic wand could waft away your disease and pain. If wishing would make it so, you will dance in the morning.

I think about all that you do, all you have done since I first posted with you on the old Publishamerica board about social writing. We have come a long way, you and I.

You must get well.

Love,
Betty

12/16/2009

Carol..

I read your blog and left you a message.
Rest, get better and start a new book....

Love Joe

Carol,

Don't worry about the dark days. We all have them. It is in owning them that we can bring them to light so they can be healed, too. Check out Gerson's Meditation #4, and the relationship between tight shoulders and shoulds, and how to let go to return to your natural light.

We are all with you.

Ann

Don't you just hate it when you hear people say, "No pain - no gain." I think you've had enough pain, Carol.