What is your worst memory?

I agree with Marie's statement.
How would we know what good feelings were if we never experienced bad ones?

I don't often become depressed, but sometimes have had severe bouts of anxiety. To me panic attacks are horrible, and there is no logic to them. When I have taken prednisone, I've had night terrors or gone into the shower and have a panic attack for no reason at all. There have been sleep deprived times in my life, such as when a baby would not sleep at night, when I have also gotten panic attacks at illogical times. I think panic attacks are some of the worst memories I want to avoid at all costs, although I have not had one for several years since I know the medication to avoid and that I need to get sleep. Unfortunately panic attacks carry over into phobias which is where I get severe claustrophobia.

Carol

The only thing I can say is that we are in charge of ourselves and if we are in a low mood --we can always fake it.

On one of my darkest days--I had just had an ultrasound of my pancreas which showed more cysts and they, trying to cheer me up, brought the radiologist in to talk to me--I took one look at her and said, "I cannot deal with this now."

She said, "I will send a report to your doctor?" I replied "Thank you."

I was home wondering how long I' d live, when the phone rang. It was Dave's boss . "How are you ?"

"I AM ABSOLUTLEY FANTASTIC!" I felt better saying that.

I sure fooled him. Dave and I still laugh about it.

It is so easy to say those three words, "I am fine," when we really aren't. Someone asks us how we are and those words fall out of our mouths. But I remember when someone would ask my grandmother how she was that she would give them a report on her latest medical symptoms. I bet people learned not to ask her that.

The other day I was in the waiting room at the oncologist office. There was another woman there and we began talking about "our" cancer. I told her I had metastasized breast cancer that was down my spine, in my liver and being in my sacrum had cut off the nerves to my legs. She looked at me in horror. Now you have to understand I am "walking on air" these days as I am feeling terrific and walking much better.

Just then they called me into the doctor's office, leaving this woman awe struck. And the doctor told me that I was doing quite well according to the blood tests I'd had the week before, that the tests showed him my cancer was greatly reduced to a level of remission. (I started at 1300 four months ago, and am at 300 now. 38 is normal.) I asked if it was possible for me to get to "normal." He said in 10% of the cases this was, but my present number was considered excellent.

Carol

Keep at it Carol--You know how to survive--do it again.

I had a cancer indicator level of 2091 with no cancer.

God is watching over us and also He is watching over those who have cancer and do not get over it.

He has a plan.

Carol Troestler wrote:

I don't often become depressed, but sometimes have had severe bouts of anxiety. To me panic attacks are horrible, and there is no logic to them. When I have taken prednisone, I've had night terrors or gone into the shower and have a panic attack for no reason at all. There have been sleep deprived times in my life, such as when a baby would not sleep at night, when I have also gotten panic attacks at illogical times. I think panic attacks are some of the worst memories I want to avoid at all costs, although I have not had one for several years since I know the medication to avoid and that I need to get sleep. Unfortunately panic attacks carry over into phobias which is where I get severe claustrophobia.

Carol

Given your medical history, you would have to be insane not to have "anxiety,"

Prednisone is on my no, no list. the last time I had one dose of it--I went berserk. I called for Hospital Security to come up and shoot me.

Fortunately my orders were not honored.

The prednisone wore off and I won't be troubled with that bad drug again.

Marie,

That must be why it is called a dis ease--it removes all ease from ones life.

Very disconcerting.

Marie,

I am trying to copy W. Lane Rogers, a man of very few words.

Right.

Carol, you are doing splendidly, I must say. You have every right to be walking on air.

Zada,

Wanting to get to a normal level is kind of silly, as I don't think I'll ever achieve normal in any way.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but today is pretty good.

Love, Carol

Carol, remember that 'normal' is different for each individual. I have never been someone else's 'normal'. If today is good, just enjoy it while you can, and tomorrow will take care of itself. You go girl!!

We don't want you to be normal--all we want is for you to be alive and feeling great!

I love this messaageboard. You are my support group!

Love, Carol

Very good--A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Great Maria!

I love it!!

Carol

I especially like the hedgehog and am so glad you welcomed him/her.

Marie,

I love that story. I love the part about Lamby "fluffing her fleece."

Carol

Marie,

Wow! You wrote that!

Ann

This is a memory linked to a tragedy that happened quite a long time ago.

We were travelling south from Glasgow to England on the M6 when the car broke down. My husband walked to the nearest phone and a local garage owner came and towed the car to a small Scottish town. After checking the engine, the mechanic said it would take several days to repair. We hired one of his cars and drove back to Glasgow. He said that he had to visit Glasgow the following week with a mate and would call to collect the hired car.

Later that week, he phoned to say that our car was ready and we took a train from Glasgow to the small town and drove the repaired car back to Glasgow.

The next time we saw the same Scottish town, it was on the television. The name of the town? Lockerbie.

Shelagh,

I am so glad you got out before the plane crashed!

Without a question, the worst memory was having to tell my 91-year-old mother that my sister had passed away suddenly. No matter how I did it, it was horrible to be the messenger.

She handled it as she did everything in life...but, I still hated being the one who had to tell her.

Rhett,

So good to see you again!