Acceptance and Fear

I continue the discussion of the recent changes I'm going through at www.stephenbrayton.wordpress.com

The "what if" syndrome affects lots of people. What if I hadn't done this. What if I had done something different. What if circumstances had been different. ... Couple this with "wrong decision" syndrome and illness looms. You can't get into someone else's mind and fix it for them. Telling them to think of something else (as if they haven't told themselves a million times!) doesn't work.

What does work? The solution is up to each individual. What works for one doesn't work for someone else. What is true in all cases, though, is the fact that happiness cannot be experienced without sadness, disappointment, misery or sorrow. It's the periods of unhappiness that give us the highs.

Happiness doesn't last. It can't. If it's prolonged, it loses its feel good factor. Take whatever happiness comes your way, don't worry about the future and leave the past behind you. Easier said than done, but living in the now is the best way to experience happiness ... even if it doesn't last.

I once bragged that I moved every 3 years or less. Usually, I did like you and tossed or gave away the accumulation of three years - yes, even in three years.

Occasionally I made the mistake of renting storage. I had storage units in three states before I finally managed over ten years to empty them. I have dishes and china that I have paid for many times over - and still don't use.

Now, I have a small house of ten years - and every nook and cranny is full. I must toss. My reason for keeping is that I "might" need them again and can't afford to pay for them again. That's a false reason for hanging on.

I always felt that letting go of "stuff" freed up the soul for new and exciting experiences. I'll pass that hope on to you. Sometimes the difficulty in letting go all of a sudden becomes a breath of fresh air and optimism.

Hanging on does take us into the past. The present is the best place to dwell.

I liked both posts, Shelagh & D.K.
I'm a person that hoards things - keeping them "just in case". The problem has been that when I finally decided to get rid of an item is when I could have used it. Unfortunately, that compounded the problem of hoarding. Once it became a space problem, I was finally able to "let go". Getting a fresh start was refreshing.
I still keep special things that have sentimental value. That includes photos and books.

Sometimes, Stephen, the circumstances that we wish most to be different, that we see as unwelcome change, can turn out, with hindsight, to be among the most valuable and productive changes we experience - changes that open up whole new insights and directions.

My divorce led me back to school, and a new career. When I moved to Houston, I started my first teaching job at a school that I thought I did not want to be a part of, but by the end of that first year, I had learned so much about my work and about people in general, that I happily stayed for 14 years, and the decision to leave that campus was a difficult one as well, but I quickly became every bit as committed to the new school and it mission.

In 36 days, I will turn 70. I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I can see, from here, that all of those unwanted changes have led me into something better, and that I took something of value from each. The person I am today is a collection of all those influences, and it is all OK.

Having read so many of your blogs, and thinking especially of these last two, I cannot help but think that you will make the best of your new situation and the changes it will bring.

Good luck and good fortune.

Annie

Thanks. It was a long day today. I'm exhausted but I'm out of my apartment and into the new 'home'. The cat is hiding in the darkest corner he can find. I'm ready for sleep.

Sometimes you need to follow the cat - take a few minutes to feel out of sorts and then move on.

lol. maybe.