Keeping them safe and secure - is it possible?

Whatever happened to kids? You remember them, those short people with runny noses and dirt behind their ears. They make a lot of noise and usually smell bad because they've been out running the streets all day getting into stuff and doing things they've been told not to do.
But wait, I'm thinking of the time when I was a rug rat myself back in another century and a different world. Kids aren't the same today. I'm sure of this because I drove down one street and up another this July morning. Before arriving home again I had traveled six miles and covered half the town. How many kids did I see along the way? Nary a one.
I know, the Mothers Against Everything That's Fun say you can't let the little darlings out of your sight for even a minute because there are bad people waiting to grab them. Of course there are, and more of them than when I was a growing boy doing everything possible to make a nuisance of myself. Back then there were about 120 million people in this country and now it's around 300 million. Some of the extra 180 million aren't very nice.
Still, there has always been that kind around. In the old days parents said, "Never take candy from a stranger" and things like that. If you think kids were perfectly safe back in that other world, visit a library and read old newspapers on microfilm. You may come away surprised.
The point is, there always has and always will be a certain amount of danger in life. It shouldn't be allowed to rule your world. Kids should be taught about those dangers, then turned loose. Keep them on too tight a leash and they become more vulnerable when they do have to venture beyond the sight of a parent.
For some time now, parents have even involved themselves in youth games and sports. They drive the kid to and from such activities. When are kids allowed to just be kids?
I know, kids today would rather watch TV, fiddle around with a computer (predators are lurking there, too) and send text messages on a cell phone than get out on their own with others their age. Then one day Dad turns to Mom and says, "Do you think Junior is putting on a little weight?"

You are so right Dick. One of the things that I love about my neighbourhood is when the kids come outside to play (generally a stay at home mom who is also looking after a couple of extra kids is nearby keeping a close eye) and I can hear them laughing. These are young kids, under age 5, totally uninhibited and full of beans.

Dear Dick,
You would think that living in the country like I do, and add to the country, that I live one block from a small river and a bridge does cross that river, fish are down there smiling up and having a good time, that some children would be out riding a bike on this dirt road in the middle of nowhere, they might cast a line and a worm over the bridge and do a little fishing, but that is not what happens.

I never see a child on the road alone. I do not think the people who live out here have little kids. Even on Halloween, no trick or treaters. We have lived here 25 years and only one child accompanied by his mom ever came for halloween. The reason for that is that the real candy haul is in town. The fun for children is in the malls and arcades. Country is boring when all their friends are spiking their hair and wearing strange clothes. No! Plain and simple, country life is too plain and simple.

I do know one family. the father is a cowboy. By that I mean he rounds up cows, takes care of cows, brands cows, herds cattle, and does somewhat with horses. His domain is 3000 acres on one side of the road and 2000 acres on the other side of the road.
He wears real spurs. I have known him since he was 20 or so. He has worked cattle for the same ranch for that long or more. His son is riding with him now, and has no looking back. They love their life. They know every inch of this country place I call home and probably every gopher turtle, fox, mouse and mole.


Love,
Betty

If momma had tried some of the smother love stuff that passes for parenting today on any of us, we would have run away and joined the circus.

So, maybe we'll break an arm or get bitten by a tiger, so what, that's part of the job of growing up. Later we'll have wonderful stories to tell.

I find that a more exciting prospect than bragging to my friends that have spending the summer playing video game XYZ 24/7, I reached level 100 and saw fireworks on my screen.

Malcolm

Dick,
your observations are right on target. You seem to say the things that many of us think about but seldom vocalize.
I had this same conversation with my wife when I returned from the States. The fear factor has taken hold and children are restricted in so many ways and rightfully so especially with small children. It is sad but it is now a way of life.
Here where I live there is still a greater sense of freedom for kids but their way of life is changing with PC's and video games.
We don't have the same level of crime and kids are still out kicking the ball around. They are still drawing the squares on the street and doing "hopscotch." (sp?) The older kids often build a bondfire and sit around most of the night doing whatever. The fear factor is media generated. We know that what we fear becomes reality.

I think sometimes that parents overreact when it comes to some one else's children. When do you step in? Are you going to be sued or suspected of being a molester? For instance, a father and his daughter are headed for the restroom. She wails that she doesn't want to go to the men's room, but Dad can't go in the ladies' room. Do you offer, or will you be suspect? Or if the scene is reversed. People are often afraid to do the 'right thing' so they do nothing.

Children can be kept safe if the parents care enough to educate their children. What ever happened to "The policeman is your friend"? And if you can't talk to strangers, how are you supposed to ask to use a phone?

Today's children must be very confused. Sometimes they are told the things they should do, but not why. Without knowing the whys of actions, they cannot be expected to make wise choices. The media feeds the parents paranoia and the parents in turn feed it to their children, either in words or actions. But until they are allowed to make decisions on their own, they won't learn how.

In my little community, the kids are pretty safe. Everyone knows everybody else, and teh kids are under someone's eyes at all times unless they wander down to the swamp. It is great to see the kids go speeding by on their bikes. They are headed for the swamp, and everyone on the road knows who they are and where they are going.

One very big problem, though: tighter reins on hunting have helped the cougar, coyote and bear populations blossom. They are now the predators you must protect the children from!! Lately, the bears have been in populated residential areas, especially in the parks.

Today on the news, there was a cougar in downtown Olympia for pete's sake! (For those who do not know, that is a large city, and the state capital of Washington.) Many towns are telling folks to keep their children and pets inside if they don't want them
to wind up as coyote supper!!

The only way to keep children safe who are old enough to venture out on their own to play is to be sure they are aware and know what to do in an emergency. Hopefully this is done in such a way that they can enjoy their childhhoods. Life lived in fear is life not lived.

When looking through my mother's things, we found a journal with questions she had answered. It asked about sledding, ice skating, bike riding. Her answers, "never went sledding, never ice skated, never rode a bike." True, if you have read my Missouri book you know a little of my grandmother's possessive hovering. We all lived with my grandmother, but my mother gave me a long, long leash. I sledded, ice skated, rode bike for miles and we're talking just outside Chicago. I am eternally grateful for the things she gave me her blessing to be involved in. It gave me confidence.

Kids used to play baseball in the street and somehow never got run over. No one was there to give them the rules. They argued over them and had a good time doing so.

And even the mischief of my own children's childhood has produced stories. One night when we were out, the six were supervising themselves, the oldest being teenagers, they decided to play flashlight tag in the house and flipped the main electrical switch and had a grand time, flipping it back before we got home. The problem was the next morning the clocks were all slow and we got to the church for my son's first communion just as the service began, with six sheepish guilty looking kids crowded in the back of the car.

That was another thing. When riding in the car, I held the baby on my lap and the others were all piled in the back of the station wagon. No car seats or seat belts. Now I do think car seats and seat belts have improved safety.

Carol

As a transplant in the USA, I came two months before 9-11 living 17
miles north of new york, my departed wife worked at the New York
Botanical Gardens in the Bronx. As it took me a while to get a work
permit, I drove my wife to work and picked her up in the evening, so I
watched a lot of TV as at first we didn't have a computer. The
main observation was that indeed the media were promoting fear this,
fear that. It was fear, fear, fear!

I came to the conclusion that Americans were paranoid about
everything! This was not something that I observed in the 70's
and 80's when I came here before and whilst 'experts', which I was
always taught that an 'ex' is a has been and a 'spurt' is a drip under
pressure, these 'experts' poo-poo the idea but I believe the TV,
violent computer games and movies have contributed greatly to the
problems we are experiencing today

Fear sells. Fear is used by politicians to get what they want.
I guess we're back to the point where Roosevelt felt the need to say, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."

Dick remarked about that in a post a few days ago. Living in fear is no way to live. When our time is up - it is up.

I think that was the biggest mistake we made, and even used it to win the next election. Once we became afraid we played into their hands.

Marine General Zinni wrote a book called The Battle for Peace. In it he spoke of a man who said what we most needed to do after 9/11 was to stay America, free from fear, persistent in pursuing our high values, letting others support us and connecting with others throughout the world.

Vigilance is important, but vigilance, not fear.

Carol

Carol,
you're right. 9/11 has become a catch-all for everything one wants to do in the name of "security." Now our privacy is being threatened even further. What we need to fear are the remaining months before there is a new face in the whitehouse.