Progress on my novel - King of Princes

Hi
I've had some very good constructive criticism of my novel "King of Princes".
One of the criticisms is that my characters do not come across as real people.

Quote :

I feel that the author should focus on his characters and their motivations more closely, and try to convey to the reader, through the depiction of their everyday lives, the sense that these are real people.

Can anyone give me a clue or advice or an example of how I can address this criticism and so improve my novel?

The mantra is "show, don't tell" -- show the readers through actions and dialogue instead of relating the story. Some useful advice about emotions and expressions here:

http://literaryzone.com/?p=1766

and description here:

http://www.englishbiz.co.uk/mainguides/describe.htm

and, specifically, advice from Domenic on your own story here:

http://www.publishedauthors.org/work-in-progress-f17/king-of-princes-t3159.htm#55200

Hi Shelagh
Hmmm thanks!
Now I'm starting to understand what Domenic was getting at.
I was also criticised for having too much dialogue, especially conversations about the political intrigue. I'm working on that as well.
All in all, I think it will take me at least another 4 or 5 months to iron out the problems.
Another criticism was my understanding of the history of that period. On this i am not budging as I believe my interpretation is as good as anyone else. Also, I think, to a certain extent, it is good to be controversial.

Help I'm struggling! I'm going through my novel and am making changes as i go. I've now corrected 3 of the 31 chapters. It is heavy going and I get dejected every now and again and put it aside. I've re-grouped (there are many of us ) after a break of a month.
One of my main problems at present is that my editor (my daughter in law) is tied up with her child and cannot give the time to my project. I would like her to continue but she doesn't regard my novel as important enough in her life.
What are the pitfalls to avoid in engaging a professional editor? I have heard of writers having disasters in this respect.

A professional editor is expensive. Also, they work in layers. According to what you pay, they might just correct grammar (a software program can do that), change a sentence or two or practically rewrite the book. I know a couple good "book doctors" but their costs are as high as their satisfied customers.

The best experiences I know are from people who belong to writing groups and as part of that group have found critique partners who critique each other's work.

Remember that an editor is one person's opinion though an excellent editor has a pulse on what readers expect.

The easiest part was writing Ghost Orchid; the story just flowed. The difficult part was the edit. Over and over I kept working on passages that I previously thought were fine. I had a thorough editor with my publisher, and I respected her experience and made changes accordingly. However, one of my critics of the published book said "I was disappointed in the lack of backstory to better understand some of the motivations of the characters." Before the editor started making recommendations, there was a lot of backstory (actually my favorite part to write) that she had me remove. Another criticism of the final book was that the reader wanted to keep reading: the book was too few pages. I cut nearly fifty pages in the edit process. Every criticism of the final work was the result of edits. However, without the edits, there may have been no sales and no criticism to worry about :-)

Who is the King of Princes - or what is the era? It would help in order to think on how to develop them as real people?

Quote :

Every criticism of the final work was the result of edits. However, without the edits, there may have been no sales and no criticism to worry about :-)

It is so tricky to maintain confidence in your vision with constructive criticism. Both my texts were sent to multiple reviewers during the writing process -the first went to six, the second went to eleven! Some of the criticisms were completely opposite to my vision and purpose for the book. Critics can either enhance your work or completely sap your personal confidence in it. The latter is deadly to a book, because you'll end up running in circles trying to please everyone, and in the process, please no one.

Luigie, I just read the excerpt you posted (following Shelagh's link). I'm not a fan of the paid editor for anyone, but especially for you, if that excerpt is an indication of your current skills. I think that you would benefit far more by reading a dozen historical novels and analyzing how they're put together. Then approach your own one.

James wrote:

Who is the King of Princes - or what is the era? It would help in order to think on how to develop them as real people?

Shelagh posted a link to a segment of Llew's work, James.

Ann

Hi
Just an update.
I have been working on the manuscript appraisal and making 'some' of the suggested changes.
I will not make all the suggested changes, as I do not agree with some of the conjecture about Henry vii.
Therefore, I am expecting my book to be controversial. I do not mind this as, purely on logistical grounds, Henry vii could not have had any clandestine meetings on his way to the battle against Richard iii. He would not have had the time to do so travelling at 20 miles a day. My answer to the critics is that they must try to walk 20 miles a day carrying all the armaments and weaponry that a medieval army would have on them.
Being an astute man that he was, I know that Henry vii made all his arrangements before he set foot in Wales on 7th August 1485.

Anyway, my book is a romantic historical novel so I have poetic licence. It is not a history book so I think the appraiser got a bit carried away when he/she criticised my version of the historic facts surrounding Henry’s conquest of England.

I have now corrected 20 of the 31 chapters. King of Princes is now 302 pages.

It's been a long time. I was let down by an editor (a friend of a friend) and she dragged on for nearly 2 years.
I was too embarrassed to do anything about it but eventually, about two months ago, I sacked her.
I now have a very good editor and am making good headway, and should be finished by end of march at the latest.
I am considering publishing on Kindle, any ideas on this would be appreciated.
I am quite excited about the finding of the bones of Richard iii who plays a role in my book.
I have portrayed Richard iii in a good light as a highly intelligent brave soldier, which he was.
As a Tudor book with good vibes about Richard iii, I'm hoping to get a few sales.
Any ideas about publicity would be most appreciated.

I thought of you when the news of Richard III came out.

Many of us are using Kindle and CreateSpace, so we might be able to help.

It is always a good thing to hear from an old cyberfriend. Sorry about your troubles, but they say that sometimes such challenges work out for the best.

At least, you are back.

It's good to hear from you again.

alj wrote:

I thought of you when the news of Richard III came out.

Many of us are using Kindle and CreateSpace, so we might be able to help.

It is always a good thing to hear from an old cyberfriend. Sorry about your troubles, but they say that sometimes such challenges work out for the best.

At least, you are back.

It's good to hear from you again.

Thanks! Good to be back.
I was getting frustrated, maybe depressed is a better description.
However, I have found a very good editor, someone who seems to know quite a bit about the times and the Welsh understanding of the Saga.

A good, yet affordable editor is great. Glad things are progressing. Writing is not always a joy a minute....I'm in a novel slump but writing non-fiction instead.

It is quite uncanny, in my book Richard iii was slain by a single blow to the head from a young Pikeman in the army of Rhys ap Thomas, William Gardynyr.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-21441319
William Gardynyr was knighted on the battlefield and was given the hand of Jasper Tudor's illegitimate daughter, Helen, in marriage. Jasper Tudor was Henry vii's uncle and a key figure in Henry's campaign against the House of York.
Proving once again that the English conjecture is completely wrong.
What many people do not realize is that most, if not all the Welsh families given land and titles after Henry vii's accession to the throne had to Anglicize their names during the later Tudor times starting with Henry viii who was influenced by his Yorkist mother, Elizabeth.
A case in point is Oliver Cromwell. Had his father not changed his surname he would have been known as Oliver Williams (the Williams family originated from South Wales). Over the period of Henry viii's reign the Welsh victory was blotted from the history book and replaced by lies and conjecture about traitors on the battlefield.
The novel, King of Princes reveals all

Ooops! I should have added that Oliver Cromwell (Williams) was the great great grandson of Jasper Tudor through his other illegitimate daughter, Joan Tudor.

Yay! At last. King of Princes is complete and edited.
Now for the challenge of publishing.
I've decided to go the eBooks route on Amazon Kindle and Apple iBooks.
Any other suggestions?
Oh Yes; I also need a good image for the front cover, any suggestions welcome.
I have been advised to change the name of the book to:
Henry VII, King of Princes - any thoughts on that?
Sorry about all the questions but you guys & dolls have helped me so much already, and I thank you all