Two-year trip to find yourself?

I can't help but notice the books advertised on the front and back covers of Baker & Taylor's monthly "Forecast" catalogue.

Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter Ann have co-written a book coming out
from Viking on September 8th called "Traveling with Pomegrantes." The
book is about their two-year quest to Greece and France to find
themselves between 1998 and 2000. Kidd is probably best known for "The
Secret Life of Bees."

I support the idea of quests, journeys and getting away from the
chaos of daily life, especially if one vows not to go on line or use a
cell phone for any reason.

But in the middle of a recession, I can't help but wonder how the
premise of the book will play with average readers. Will people buy
into the idea that a two-year trip is really necessary for a writer
(Sue) wrestling with a creative vacuum and the aging process and a
college graduate daughter (Ann) trying to figure out what to do with
her life.

To me, the idea of traveling for two straight years for any personal
reason seems slightly over-indulgent no matter how great the results
may be. Of course, in this case, some or all of the trip can be
considered as research for this book. Still, at a time when most of us
are struggling to make ends meet and maybe spend a few dollars on
weekend trips to see family a couple hundred miles away, a tour to
exotic locales isn't something we can easily identify with.


I can't, and I think I would feel a bit awkward writing nonfiction
about it even if somebody gave me a suitcase full of lottery money to
pay for the trip.

Malcolm,

The last few days I have wandered the "best sellers" in various genres on amazon. There are some interesting books right up there on those lists. In nonfiction, there are actually a couple of books on self-publishing, one self-published which makes sense. There is another self published book on the top books list.

There was nothing that caught my attention. My husband is reading Pat Conroy's book on Charleston, because he has read all Pat Conroy's books, but otherwise there were some strange books there, and "why" was a question I asked as I wandered.

No, I wouldn't think this was a time to go on a quest, but since they did so several years ago things were different. But will that sell in today's market? There seems to be some strange books selling in today's market.

Carol

I also went on a two-year quest paid for in full by the United States government. Not realizing I was lost, although at times it seemed all was lost, I failed to find myself.
Therefore I believe I will pass up reading Sue Monk Kidd's book. However, I may write a short mystery featuring a woman attempting to conceal the fact she is Chinese but failing because of the name she chose to use: Sue Monk Kidd.

A two year holiday, don't we all wish we could afford that. Though if we did have the time and money for it, how long would it take us to get bored with it?

Carol - I have Pat Conroy's new book SOUTH OF BROAD here on my desk waiting to be read. I've read most of his novels. You're right about the timing of Kidd's quest: it was before the recession. Readers might see that as "more okay" than doing the trip now.

Marie: Kidd has written a number of books focused on spirituality, one I liked being "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter." My feeling is that this book probably builds on that one in some ways, but as you say, if she weren't well known, her quest wouldn't get on our radar.

Dick: I also had a two-year quest paid for by the U.S. Government. It wasn't as exciting and dangerous as your quest. Mine was called "Join the Navy and Let the World See You." Under such conditions, it was hard to be lost.

THM: I think I'd get bored before the two years was up unless I had something more interesting than sightseeing. I'd rather volunteer for something, or live with a family for a year, or teach in a school.

Malcolm

Well, people read books for escapism, so I don't see Kidd's book being viewed as self-indulgent. Eat, Pray and Love was a self-indulgent odyssey, but it was a success.

Where readers seem to bag on self-indulgence is when the author is vain. Reviews for Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck, a chronicle of the money she spends on cosmetic surgery, were harsh and judgmental. Same with Charla Krupp's How Not To Look Old (Amazon reader comments on that one are hilarious).

I couldn't finish Eat, Pray and Love because I felt it was schlock. On the other hand, I've heard the author speak and was very impressed with what she had to say.

Malcolm

I've had ten years of retirement and have yet to find myself!! Life just kind of took over and leaves me floundering trying to gain some control of this extended vacation.

But it is a good time, different than expected, and indeed I've never ended the journey, which began long, long, ago.

I am not bored.

Carol

Dear Carol,
I know bored people. I would never expect you to be bored a day in your life. I tunnel into life and when the tunnel ends, I have to dig out. This day I got up so tired. I called some vegetable brokers who all considered I was too small to think about.

I went to town, to the Goodwill to see what treasures someone else had thought no value. I found a little copper wire box for 76 cents, and a thing made out of paper thin shells and coconut circles made in the Phillipines and a true antique, a little gingerbread design thing that you would know where to put the different colors of sugar.

I went to the Scatch and Dent Surplus store where they sell wierd stuff you never would think of buying in a grocery, but in there it is like little jewels of food presented in poor packages, dented from being smashed around.

I bought Chinese Rib Sauce for .50 cents, four bottles of Newmans dressing for a dollar, some wierd sardines, steak sauce that cost 3.50 in Walmart for 1.00.

I began to feel better.


Tonight we are having the chinese ribs, fried cabbage, rice and, of course, beans. That is a staple.

You know that life is a journey in stages, I think. We never see the whole of it so we have to go on to the end.

Love,
Betty

What does "to find yourself" mean? I've never thought of myself as being lost. Am I so lost that I don't understand the concept of finding myself?

A wife of mine once said to me:

Wife: I want a divorce.

Phil: Why?

Wife: Because I have to go find myself.

Phil: What does that mean?

Wife: You wouldn't understand.

Phil: Well, I do understand that wherever you go there you are.

Wife: (Just a blank glare.)

Dear Phil,
I have never understood the going to find one's self, my own self. I think it is an excuse to be away. Away from the person they are with. I doubt that they ever do find themselves when they go. Because their self has never been in the first place. They have always blamed someone else for their not being a person they can see. You may see them, but they cannot see themselves.

Love,
Betty

My ex needed to find himself. He was willing to leave three children to do it. I'm not counting me because we had been having issues for a while. I don't get not finding oneself in one's children.

Betty,

I like your creative way of putting together a delicious, frugal dinner. We should get together to share tips. What, for instance, do you do when your son-in-law is a wine connoisseur and you have a budget of $10 a bottle?

Ann

Quote :

What, for instance, do you do when your son-in-law is a wine connoisseur and you have a budget of $10 a bottle?

Oh! Oh! Let me take this one!

Assume he is polite enough not to even notice. And perhaps even compliment you on your choice.

Marie, I could never find myself drinking iced tea, but I know certain drinks where I can lose myself for a short time. Does that count?

Carol,
I could never understand people who felt the need to "find themselves." I was too busy working to give it a thought. Perhaps the need to "find oneself" has to do with boredom or frustration in a dead-end situation. I was never bored but often impatient/frustrated that I couldn't achieve what I wanted in a shorter period of time. I did lots of travel but seldom for the purpose of pleasure. One has to take pleasure where one finds it and it often comes unexpectedly. Pursuing happiness is most often a failure. Enjoying the moment, the people you're with or where you are can provide a lifetime of pleasure. The problem is with awareness. I guess in that sense many people are lost and need to find themselves. They can't recognize opportunity or the simple things in life that bring pleasure since they are blinded by "things." Things don't provide happiness and can be lost overnight. From people we get love, appreciation and respect. Alone we can do little, but together with people we can achieve much.

Dear Ann,
I would ask him to bring the wine for dinner.

Love,
Betty

Abe,

I have always enjoyed simple pleasures, nature, loved my family.

I often get lost in times of change. I neither resist nor try to keep things the same. I embrace change, but I have a deep feeling inside of a need to give to the world, and how to do that is what changes as life goes on and limitations occur.

I love my family but know the need to let go, to not hover nor rescue when one needs to do it themselves. I know my husband loves me and wants me around.

But it is that need to give to the world, to use my talents and gifts for others. Inside I get these feelings to share these God given gifts. I never feel I am giving enough, but also understand my need for self care. What good will I be to others if I am stressed? I need to care for myself to continue to live.

Can I give to others through writing? If all I can ever do is get my writing in a couple of hundred hands, is that enough? Is there something I need to do for health care, since I have so much knowledge?

Ann, sent a beautiful email about "enough." I have problems with "enough," and it has nothing to do with possessions or material things. I have more than I need of those.

One thing I do is share my cabin. There will have been over 25 people here this month, some without us here. Guests usually leave the place the way they find it. Our role is to provide a pretty place and keep it up, and sometimes remake the beds etc. I love sharing this place.

Love, Carol

It isn't impossible to find a good $10 wine. It's a bit of an adventure, like Betty's finds at Goodwill and Surplus stores. Betty, have you tried Marshall's? They often have a food section where you can get things like pasta, olive oil, and jarred sauces at very low prices - high quality, too. It's just as much fun, and maybe takes two hours rather than two years - little adventures.

The tea is always available, especially now that Chris' parents have joined us. They prefer it. Linda especially likes English Breakfast. Good teas are another Marshall's find. When Susan (younger daughter) and Jimmy decide to make the trip in from Helotes, he would rather have a beer, preferably Bud Light, which is easy enough. I keep a few in the fridge for him, just in case.

Chris is always polite, and has been known to bring a bottle on occasion, and this coming Sunday, Linda is buying groceries for Lynn, who is cooking dinner at her house. Linda doesn't like to cook, so she and Clint sometimes provide those groceries, or take us out.

The weekly dinner is really about me wanting to do something that pleases them. If finding the means is an adventure, that's part of the fun of it. I didn't mean the question as a complaint, really. Just that there are lot's of ways to "find oneself."

Thanks for all the advice.

Ann

There is a wonderful winery in our area called Wollersheim Winery, that has some wonderful wines. The best is Prairie Fume. I think it is under $10. Of course that is if you buy it at the winery, but the grocery store here has it even cheaper.

Carol

Carol,
your cabin sounds like a special place. I'm sure eveyone that uses it benefits in many ways.

And about wine, I surrounded by vineyards and wine growers. Wine doesn't cost that much here, so to me, $10 a bottle is expensive. For the past few days I pressed my own grapes. Fresh grape juice tastes good. It takes only a few days for the fermenting to start and is called "new wine." I just tasted some and it already has a kick. The only cost to me is my own labor to produce it and that makes it taste even better.
Want some? You'll have to pick it up. I don't deliver.

Ann,

Check out:

http://www.wollersheim.com/wine_list.asp

Some have won awards and I'll personally vouch for Prairie Fume and River Gold.

They will ship.

Carol

Ann,

Darn. I just discovered they can't ship to Texas due to regulations.

That probably means I couldn't ship it either.

Carol

Yellowtails are quite nice. There is a very good Sonomo County Pinot called Mark West, too. Right now, I'm looking for a Malbec. The cheapest good one I've found so far runs closer to $15. It's a good wine for Mexican food, which we eat a lot.

Anybody know of one?

Malcolm. This has to do with taking little journeys, and wine is one good way to find yourself. It is still off topic. Sorry.

Ann

Carol, too bad. That Prairie Sunburst sounds like a good one, and within the budget.

The main reason I want to keep it under $10 is that we sometimes open a second bottle. We never drink more than half, but the bottle is open, so that leaves just me to finish it before it goes sour.


There are a couple of good boxes. I may try one of them for a while. That way, whatever is left will last until the next week.

Ann

My favourite wine is Australian: Chardonnay from the Rosemount estate.

http://www.rosemountestate.com.au/wine_list/blend_label/chardonnay_semillon/index.htm



Price list here:

http://www.thefind.com/query.php?query=rosemount+estate+chardonnay+diamond+label

I will try it, Shelagh. They make a nice Shiraz.

Ann