Sticks and Stones...

"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me." That old chant is a lie. My friend who has a Master's Degree in Social work says the advantage of stones is that they either stop or the recipient is stopped. Words continue. They accumulate. They eat at the psyche. They grow in the power of their venom and the destruction of the person to whom they are sent - like Chinese water torture - hurting more with each repetition.

Now, what brings on this topic? I remember the days when women's thoughts, words and actions were generally dismissed as less than important. One way to make sure was to call a woman a babe, a hottie, a dumb blond, a raging redhead, and then when the gutter was close by, any number of female body parts. I heard a group of men even recently describe a group of women talking about political events of some consequence as a "gab fest over the Vagina Monologues."

Well, in the recent negativity in the postings on FB regarding political events, I see that a few old men are still using terms like "babe" to demean the intelligent dialogue of a female who has ideas and thoughts that are different than theirs.

I think the very real progress of women into a world where their intellect is needed and their role as partners with men in marriage and in the workplace creates stronger bonds for the new global world - is threatened. It is threatened because the current political atmosphere allows elected representatives to redefine rape, to tell women what to do about their reproductive health issues, and to demean intelligent women by the tone of voice or a discussion about their clothing or hairstyle instead of their mind.

The overtalk about women who stay home and "stand by their man" has taken us back to the 1950's and helped create a nostalgia for the days when blacks and women knew their place and white men were in charge of everything, without question. Yes, there were always brave exceptions. However many of us are glad to kiss those days good bye in terms of half the world's population finding its rightful place in exercising talents with which they were born to make this world a better place, without regard to gender, race, religion, sexual preference or ethnic origin. This type of potential meets the criteria of the spiritual who say, "In God's image" which includes all of us, all in God's image, without hierarchy.

This is just a warning. Look at the decision makers and see if they look and think like you. If they don't, it's time to step up and say something and make a difference.

There is a great training film of X's and O's. The O is the different one, promoted to a role of responsibility but held suspect by the X's, talked about at the water cooler, more expected from because the O represents all O's, and when the O starts wearing down, the X's say, "see, we told you so, the O's just aren't as good as the X's." At least in demographics, the United States is pretty evenly divided; in habit, however, not so much so. The top CEO's and top earners are primarily white males; the top political positions are primarily held by white males. Change is slowly working its way....but the X's are nervous and will do their best to hold back change, to hold onto nostalgia

And to use demeaning words to hold back a sharp mind, to reduce the recipient to the lowest common denominator of people without worth, is allowed again because the atmosphere allows for the demeaning of women. All that the women who came before us gained on our behalf is threatened - the right to vote (elderly women in particular), the right to make choices about our own bodies, - the right to insurance equal to a man, - the right to pay that is appropriate for the job not the gender - and so much more. We just can't let this happen.

And, hear me, it is the Republican Party Platform and their place holder team Romney/Ryan that have created an atmosphere through their words and those of their spokespersons like Rush Limbaugh that drops women to a 1950's level of respect. Any woman that votes for that team insults all the women who marched for us so our world would be better.

Amen!

I know what and who you are referring to, DK. I spoke up and the man said, " Oh no, not another one and I don't even know her. " He also called Maddow a towering intellect-in a snide way.

He has a short memory.

Quote :

I think the very real progress of women into a world where their intellect is needed and their role as partners with men in marriage and in the workplace creates stronger bonds for the new global world - is threatened. It is threatened because the current political atmosphere allows elected representatives to redefine rape, to tell women what to do about their reproductive health issues, and to demean intelligent women by the tone of voice or a discussion about their clothing or hairstyle instead of their mind.

Good post.

I am not sure that the devaluation is limited to Republicans, and I know quite a few who do consider women as equals. I know almost as many Democrats who do not, but it is definitely more common among conservatives, and can include women as well as men.

Some of the old paradigm thinkers are more subtle than others. They may not use the blatant word labels, but the tone is still recognizable. Often I get the feeling that some of these individuals are not even aware of their attitudes. If you were to ask them, they would insist that they favor equality, but their actions don't always fit what they say - or even think they believe.

Patriarchal thinking is so embedded in that old power and control paradigm that it slips into our conversations almost without being noticed, unless the group dynamic is primarily an open one, but the impact still clouds communication between those involved.

It is still an important issue.

Quote :

Myth
Muriel Rukeyser

Long afterward, Oedipus, old and blinded, walked the
roads. He smelled a familiar smell. It was
the Sphinx Oedipus said, “I want to ask one question.
Why didn’t I recognize my mother?” “You gave the
wrong answer,” said the Sphinx “But that was what
made everything possible,” said Oedipus “No,” she said.
“When I asked, What walks on four legs in the morning,
two at noon, and three in the evening, you answered,
Man You didn’t say anything about woman.”
“When you say Man,” said Oedipus, “you include women
too. Everyone knows that.” She said, “That’s what
you think.”
http://readalittlepoetry.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/myth-by-muriel-rukeyser/

I didn't mean to imply that only Republicans use demeaning tactics that reduce the value of a woman's contribution to the intellectual debate. What the Republicans have done with their campaign, their party platform and the campaigns of their various representatives is create an atmosphere that reduces the power of women in general, opening up the opportunity for any man wishing to portray his authority to step into the chasm created with little chastisement or reminder that times "have changed." It points out just how fragile freedoms are when threatened by a determined religious right determined to put their religious dogma into legislation that is detrimental to half of the population: women. When women are harmed, so is the nation.

Unfortunately, some women fall into the chasm, too. To be accepted by the men around them, they acquiesce to this treatment or even behave in similar ways by demeaning women they do not like or whose political views are different than their own. A big topic for a while was Hillary's hair as an example.