Planned parenthood should be closed down..No funding !

Maybe wars should be privately funded also--we'd have fewer of them for sure. There is no doubt or argument as to the loss of life
incurred during a war.

6/4/2012

I read recently that scientist may have come up with

a birth control pill or men , geat news..It's that or men

should get a vasectomy...Oh yes young people need to

get morals , they should be taught getting pregnant is

not fun , first off you have no life, second it brings you into

poverty, it takes $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to raise a child, as for the

guys they should be held responsible if they don't want to how's

about some jail time for them to think about it...It's their choice

jail time or a vasectomy and how's about uping the age to 19, so

if a girl is 12-18 and gets pregnant the boy goes to jail......

Cheers..Joe...

This is a great topic, Joe.
Jail does not seem a great idea to me. After all young men are young men. Many young kids have sex out of wedlock. A jail sentence for the accidental father is a bit much. Our jails are overfilled now with "criminals."

Fathering a child ought not to be a crime.

We need to get over over our bias against out of wedlock babies.

It happens to a lot of people. My mother told me if she had become pregnant out of wedlock she'd have killed herself.
I said, "How terrible." To deprive the world of herself and the baby would have been a big bit over the top.

6/4/2012

Alice..

My Mother told me once that when she was a teenager in the 1940's if a girl got pregnant, the blinds came down and the girl disappeared, off to have a baby out of sight. Did you know that Loretta Young in the early 1930's got pregnant by Clark Gable, in those days that was scandalous, you could loose your career " Moral Clause in their contracts," Anyway she went to Europe for a year, had the baby came back waited six months, had the baby brought to this country then adopted her, her daugter never knew the story until she was in her 40's....All I'm saying is parents should teach their teenagers right from wrong , " NO SEX " I read of a young girl here in this town at 16 she already had two children, she couldn't go to school because she had to support them, where was her parents ? I remember a friend of mine who passed away last year ( she was 98) she used to say 1st time shame on you, second time shame on me...

Cheers..Joe..

You can teach plenty; the student does not always learn.

I had three sons. I asked my spouse to sit down with them but he refused saying they probably already knew more than he did at their age.

When I suggested to the boys that we needed to talk, three very shy boys sat with their mother for the facts of life - in detail - and with information about all the consequences and responsibilities - the emotional trauma of youth sexual activity - the spiritual side of it all - and the physical. I provided them with information to prevent pregnancy and disease. I let them talk most of the time, asking them how they thought a young woman would feel the rest of her life after knowing them under various scenarios.

It was a very difficult sit down for all of us, but those three managed to stay attentive, ask rational questions and not tease each other and destroy the serious event. They got their information from a woman's point of view. I don't remember how long we sat there talking, but it was amazing.

So far as I know, the boys have always been very respectful of the girls and then the young women in their lives. I had parents tell me that my son was the best thing that happened to their young daughter in her choice of friends.

My boys were far from saints and lived lives as men in many countries with many experiences. At least I know they went forward in life fully informed with as much information as I could give them at the time to make rational choices, even in the heat of youthful hormones.

I am grateful for all the embarrassing, graphic books I read before that discussion, some of which we discussed together, and all the medical knowledge that was available thanks to the literature of Planned Parenthood and others.

Information is power. Just saying "no" is not sufficient. God striking them dead is not sufficient. Fear of pregnancy is not sufficient. It takes a lot of information over and over again and an open and non-condemning atmosphere to have any success at all.

Maybe they just laughed at me afterwards; however, I don't think so. One or the other has come to me with questions about their lives I would never believe they would share. I think it is because of that intimate and detailed talk in their youth that opened doors.

Telling girls is not sufficient. They are poorly equipped to argue with love sick boys.

6/4/2012

DK...

You did a great job with your sons...I wish more

parents were that responsible......

Cheers..Joe...

Scene at our house in 1978 - Dave was 7, Susan - 9, Lynn - 11.

Lynn: Mom, can we all go to the movies tonight and see The Goodby Girl?
Me: I have to think about that. I'm not sure Dave is old enough.
Dave: I don't care if it's got blood in it. I like bloood.
Susan: David, she isn't talking about blood. She's talking about sex.
Dave: Well, I don't care if it's got sex in it, either. Hey Mom? What's sex?
Me: Maybe we should all go together. Then we can talk about it after.

[after]

Dave: Well, I found out one thing.
Me: What was that?
Dave: I knew what sex was all along. I just didn't know how to talk about it 'thout usin' dirty words.

[phone call to father]

Me: Your son is coming to visit you next weekend.
Bill: That's right.
Me: Make sure that by the time he gets home, he knows how to talk about sex without using dirty words.

(Even ex's can be assigned certain difficult tasks. You just have to insist emphatically.)

Ann

Ann,

Perfect!

My spouse was useless. I think he was embarrassed at his own lack of detailed knowledge. We usually assign mothers to girls and fathers to boys for "the talk." I think I am glad I was forced into it with the boys. Sometimes I think fathers leave out a lot of emotional details, things women remember as girls. I even included information about the financial costs of teen pregnancy - from dollars and cents to lost careers and broken dreams, the immediate trip to adulthood bypassing a lot of freedom. Regardless of who provides the details, age appropriate details it must be. It pays to read some good books to be organized about it. Books also make good props.

My mom gave me a tiny little book literally about birds and bees with a couple bodies at the end...and that was it. She added the fear of her wrath and the fear of God. That worked pretty good for my generation; but not today's.

DK,


You are so right!

DK. I believe it took much courage to do what you did. I remember the talk I had with my son after being nagged by my wife to discuss it with him. We were walking along the beech in Greece and I told him about the birds and the bees. He looked at me trying to figure out what I was getting at. It was a sorry effort. I didn't have the courage as you did to get to the point and tell it like it is. My childhood and how I learned weighted heavily on me. Most information came from watching farm animals and from schoolmates discussing the real thing. One of those school mates got a girl pregnant. When he was asked, why he didn't use some protection, he said he did. He used Seran Wrap and secured it with a rubber band.