At what age do you stop being vain?

This is Sumner Redstone, the 87 yr old chairman of Viacom. Looks like he had the same fat-injection operation I did! LOL -eeeuuuuuw! Maybe he's insecure, since his wife is 40.

I hope I'm not doing this at 87.

LC,

You will need it more then, than now.

Ick.

He looks ... distorted.


Never planned to fight Mother Nature, since she always wins.

I spent some time in Houston just after the first of the year. There was a gathering that included a lot of old friends. Some showed their age more than others. There was this one guy - an old college roommate of my brother's. His hair was white and his shoulders stooped. His arthritis was so bad he had to sit after a few minutes of talking. I remember how the two of us used to go "across the river" (from Texas to Louisiana, where the legal drinking age was 18) and teach the cajuns how to dance the twist at the chinky-chank honkey-tonks.

And then, Willie came in. It had been 30 years since I had seen Willie. That was at his 40th birthday party. There had been several guys from the old gang there that day, mostly Aggies. I was talking to this guy named John, whom I had met, years before that, even, at Willie's wedding. Willie seemed surprised that we knew each other. "We dated, Willie, after meeting at your wedding."

"She ever give you any?"

"I dated you at one time, too, Willie," I pointed out. "Did I ever give you any?"

"Hell no," he said back, "But it wasn't for my lack of trying." Actually, it was because he was scared sh**less over what my brother might have done to him if I had. Willie's children's mother was an old friend of mine. They went separate ways some time ago.

Willie had developed a few gray hairs - a very few - but aside from that, he looked exactly like he had during his college days. Our white-haired friend with the severe arthritis problem said that the Aggie reunions had to change their rules because of Willie, to keep him from always winning the "Least changed" award. Some of us concluded, at that recent gathering, that he probably had a
hideous painting hidden in his attic. But I wonder if the lack of
physical change might have been connected to the Jungian concept of puer aeternis. Like Peter Pan, he never quite grew up.

But Willie was, and is, one of the good guys. It was great to see him again.

Those were good days.

Sometimes I miss them. I definitely looked a lot younger, and by most standards, better.

Pardon me for reminiscing on your thread, LC. These things are on my mind right now.

As far as aging goes, my youthful vanity didn't get me all that much, as I look back on things. I am not a good candidate for rejuvenating procedures, I'm afraid.

Ann

My mother in law is 90 and still makes certain every hair on her head is in place.

I don't see how she does it--she is amazing!

alice wrote:

My mother in law is 90 and still makes certain every hair on her head is in place.

I don't see how she does it--she is amazing!

She sounds like my mother.

Ann

1/17/2011



It's funny how people will do anything to keep younger, I
saw on a show once a woman who was addicted to plastic
surgery , I find this sick ! I feel I still look the same now
like I was in my 30's 40's, 50's , few grey hairs, young at
heart.....Keep out of the sun , keeps the wrinkles away..


Cheers..Joe

My mother is still elegant at 91. She barely has a line on her face (never allowed it in the sun; southern belles did not get a suntan and protected their faces with big hats and their arms and hands with light clothing or parasols). She has never gained or lost more than five or ten pounds, a perfect size 10. She is busy all day long and is up and down the stairs to the basement several times a day.

My dad died at 59. He had diabetes at 39 when he had his first heart attack. He smoked, ate too much for his stature, and exercised very little.

I don't know whose genes I have. I lasted past 59, I have the same lines on my face I had at 39, no more, no less (mostly eye crinkles). My weight has been an issue since I was 21 with major ups and downs (Oprah Winfrey style). No one asked me for I.D. from the time I was 16; in my 50's, I was mistaken for much younger.

I use real pictures to advertise my books. I really don't think my face needs anything in particular though I always wanted my mother's nose instead of my father's. I heard some ladies talking about a laser that tightens the skin on the face. I sure don't need that; maybe a little lift around the eyes would open them larger. However, a laser that reshapes the body in general might get my attention, or an air brush that works with a real body, not just on photographs.

If I don't smile, I am starting to look a little older. Some people are starting to call me "m'am" that don't seem young enough to think I'm old enough to be called "m'am."

As for vanity; I had enough at 35 to last a lifetime. I really thought I was pretty hot then. Now, it all seems so silly. I see women who've had major face and body work who are in the 60's and 70's. They still look like women who've had major face and body work who are in their 60's and 70's.

Right now, I don't look old and I don't look young. I probably look my age.

Well, when I was young, I looked old and acted old. I grew up around older people.
Now that I am old, people think I look young.

Since I am not a fan of surgery, I will forego any and all cosmetic surgery.

Alice, sounds like we had a similar path. I was an old soul in a young girl. Now, I'm a young soul in - nope, don't think I like that analogy. I'll just stick with being okay with who I am today. I'm not big on anything that includes a knife...besides, I'd rather spend anything I have extra for plastic surgery on a trip to London or down the Mississippi.

DK,

I am glad to see my hair finally returning, but a hat takes care of that deficiency.
The trips sound like fun.

If hair is an issue, follow Dolly Parton and the stars with wigs and hair pieces. A lady at church yesterday had the prettiest chignon that was fake, streaked with highlights. It wasn't an obvious fake; I just knew her hair was normally too short for that chignon. I have a couple wigs, one red one I really like and a similar blond one. Trouble is, they are too warm for Florida. Handy on a bad hair day.

My friend's daughter lost her hair and simply has beautiful turbans that go with all her ensembles. Looks very smart.

I don't know anyone who tries to look bad, and conclude that if they look bad, they must feel bad.

What you see is what you get, seems genuine to me.
I like genuine things and genuine people, lines and all. The face is much like a painting that tells a story. The eyes in particular are revealing.

When you talk to someone, do you look at their body or at the face? When looking at the face, do you concentrate on the mouth or the eyes?

Why are eyes called the mirror of the soul?

1/18/2011


DK...

You look great to me ! No need to do anything, I
believe everyone should grow older gracefully, no need
to get the Joan Rivers look.........


Cheers..Joe

"...oh no, I'll be vain forever..." laughed the goblin whose persona remained his picture of dorian gray now, saying "...dailylife can take its course but here I am ever an ageless goblin now..."

As for hair, when my mom decided to stop covering her grey and let it grow out, she used these large, square designer scarves that she had been collecting for several years. My dad traveled out of the country a lot, and would pick up a couple at the duty-free stores along the way. And she would pick them up herself at the couture shops where she got her clothes. So she just used them to cover her hair as it grew out - no turbans, just wrapped and tied at the back. It looked very chic. After a while, she had her hair cropped off, very short. She looked years younger with the natural grey than she had with it dyed dark brown.

I will say, though, that my mom had an elegant look and a reputation to go with it. I ran into a friend once who said she saw Mother at the grocery store. She was wearing jeans and had her hair in curlers. My friend said she almost felt ashamed, that if Edna Earle wore curlers to the grocery store, it had to be the proper thing to do.

Much of it is a state of mind, I think.

Ann

Wasn't it Audrey Hepburn who always wore scarves? When I attended Catholic church with my spouse and sons, I wore scarves.

I remember Kathryn did.

I read that Kathryn wore scarves because she was self-conscious about her neck as she aged.

About 60 and 70 yr old women getting cosmetic surgery and looking like 60 and 70 yr old women who had cosmetic surgery. I think such efforts are most successful when they make you look a better [your age], not a [your age] trying to look younger. At least that was my goal. I look at photos of 40-something women taken in the 40's and 50's and they look like 60-something women today. I don't think that's more "noble." I'm glad there are many products and procedures on the market now that can help us look better if we choose to take advantage of them.

1/18/2011


Has anyone got a good look at Joan Rivers lately
SCAREY !............. too much surgery !


Cheers..Joe

Joan Rivers isn't even old--just 77!

She didn't need all of that, but then again, maybe she thought she did.

I agree that looking healthy and the best possible for your age is a good idea when it comes to plastic surgery. I had a friend in Korea who lost over a 100 pounds. She was in her 40's and her face was full of lines and folds. She had a face lift in Japan. She was beautiful when she returned, just like a China doll, not a line on her face anywhere. She barely resembled the woman I knew. Of course, I became accustomed to her new look. Over time, the tightness did loosen enough for her face to have some expression.

She certainly made a good decision to have some work done. It was just a touch too much in my estimation, but she was thrilled with her look. She truly looked very young, indeed, more in her early 30's than late 40's.

I think we have better moisturizers and age stopping creams than were available to women in earlier generations. However, my mother has beautiful skin. My stepmother had the same. Both used whatever was available in their time.

I guess it depends on the person. If a one has been ravishingly beautiful or handsome and used to receiving compliments, aging is a real issue.

As Joe says, "It is how you see yourself."

To add to what Alice and Joe said, It's about how you value yourself - and others. What do you consider valuable? Beauty, intelligence, kindheartedness, financial success? Sometimes it helps to just make a list, and put such things in the order that seems most important to you.

And it helps to admit that many of the people you encounter are going to judge you by your outer appearance, and accept that. You can still choose how to respond.

Beauty doesn't necessarily bring you good things. It depends on what those other people assume about beautiful people. On the one hand, they might envy what they see as your good fortune, and avoid you, or work against you. On the other, they might assume that your beauty is all there is, that you are probably shallow and vain, and not trust you.

As far as aging goes, most people really do get better as they get older, so why not accept that and let your age show its own mature form of beauty.

In an ideal world, I think we would see all people as beautiful, regardless of age or physical features. Admittedly, we don't live in an ideal world, though, so if a little work or trickery helps you and those around you to feel open and communicate with each other, go for it.

Just me.

Ann

Ann,

You have a very good perspective--I like it and you.