Pointers on hooks?

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2010-02-12

I'm currently in the middle of writing my first draft for my first non-fiction work. However, I'm a little stuck on the query. I'm just wondering whether my hook is sufficient.

Quote :: Dear [Agent Name],

“What if you’re wrong?” has quickly become a pertinent question to answer; and with the Atheistic movement quickly picking up the pace, a Theist will have no other choice than to begin answering.

The Skeptic Mind, a non-fiction book in progress, unravels the facts behind the religious movement and explains why it is not only morally wrong, but dangerous for our society. From the horrendous truth of the Mosaic Law to the ghastly concept of constrictive fear; from the psychological need of a god to the method to surpass this; this book covers many aspects of which a doubting Christian, Muslim, Jew, or Hindu would wish to be informed.

Using evidence from the Holy Books and modern-day science, The Skeptic Mind supplies readers with a proper and gradual introduction to the faults of religion, something which many seem to leave out of recent bestselling novelties. This is an addition to the powerful arguments, which are sure to make the reader consider the possibility that the concept of God is pure mythology.

As for me, I am a dedicated new writer with over three years of interest and research in the domain of religion and biology, having studied the depths of the Bible and the Tanakh, as well as several different aspects of evolution. If represented, I will be committed to help the process as best as I can, my ultimate goal being to increase the awareness of this 10,000-year-old legend.

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you will consider representing this book.
Sincerely,
Eric LeBlanc

I'd appreciate any pointers I can get.

EDIT: I'm working on the final paragraph. I don't like the negative atmosphere I gave it.

Subject: Re: Pointers on hooks? Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:31 am

My comments would be to rearrange the paragraphs. I don't think the first paragraph should be the first paragraph but come later.

Carol

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2010-02-12

Carol Troestler wrote:: My comments would be to rearrange the paragraphs. I don't think the first paragraph should be the first paragraph but come later.

Carol

Oh, the first sentence is the first paragraph (I've fixed it). You mean the second paragraph now?

Subject: Re: Pointers on hooks? Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:25 pm

I could be wrong about this but it might be worth considering, I would pitch the marketability of the book first. Who is going to buy this book? Is it aimed at students, the general reading public or a specific group of readers?

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2010-02-12

Shelagh wrote:: I could be wrong about this but it might be worth considering, I would pitch the marketability of the book first. Who is going to buy this book? Is it aimed at students, the general reading public or a specific group of readers?

Yes, I've covered this in my proposal. Whether it's something I should pitch at the top is something I will ponder over, thanks.

Subject: Re: Pointers on hooks? Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:54 pm

One thing I'd say...something doesn't quickly become primordial. Agents like writers to use words with a bit of precision.

Subject: Re: Pointers on hooks? Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:29 am

You might find this helpful:

http://www.writing-world.com/publish/bookprop2.shtml

... and this explains the difference between a query letter and a book proposal:

http://www.spawn.org/marketing/bookprop.htm

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2010-02-12

Shelagh wrote:: You might find this helpful:

http://www.writing-world.com/publish/bookprop2.shtml

... and this explains the difference between a query letter and a book proposal:

http://www.spawn.org/marketing/bookprop.htm

Thank you, I haven't read that yet.

Just to let you know, my original post contains my query for literary agents who ask for it as the first document. It technically has nothing to do with my outline, which is separate. I'll mix content when I'm required by the agent. But this is very useful for the proposal which some require after the query.