My Driver's License Photo

A Stodghill Says So blog:

The frightening thing about my new driver's license picture is that Jackie claims I look better than I did on the past two. The lady at the Ohio BMV told me to smile so I did but even that didn't make it a whole lot better. Granted, these kind of photos are on par with police mug shots. Nobody ever says, "Let me show you the picture on my driver's license."
On the old one I had a ghastly pallor. Now I look like I've been dunked in boiling water. If I saw someone who looked like this coming toward me in a dark alley I'd hightail it in the other direction. It does explain why little kids stare in shocked disbelief when I enter a room. On his worst days, Jack the Ripper looked better than this.
The annoying thing is that when I went out to the car and showed it to Jackie she said, "Oh, you look much better." Than what? I wondered.
My new license is good for four more years. It does not come with a guarantee that I'm good for four more years. I said, "This is my last driver's license."
Jackie said, "You don't know that."
True, I don't. Nor do I know for sure that the sun will set in the west this evening but I'd say both things are a pretty safe bet.
So here it is, one o'clock, and I haven't got a lick of work done today. After taking a look at my new photo I decided not to start any major projects and I'm going to wrap up the stuff I've been working on as quickly as possible. It's hard to believe anyone could disagree with that way of thinking. On the other hand, I've outlived three sell-by dates so I guess you never know.
If I am back at the BMV in 2013 it will be interesting to see what my new photo looks like. By then they may have a new camera. Recession or not, they're due for one. Or maybe it's just me.

It's not you, Dick. I think the DMV deliberately distorts our photo so if we get pulled over in the wee hours of the morning after a night of celebrating, we may actually look like our driver's license photo.

I like your way of thinking, Merri.

Dear Dick,

I noticed those wavy blue lines that extend far past your face. Is that so no one can counterfeit your picture of did they put you in that globe that you see in the haunted house at Disney where only the head is there talking and lightening bolts are going all over the place?

It vaguely reminds me of those old round television tubes when the static took over. Only those lines were not blue. ..well, maybe they were. We did not have a color set.

I can see past all that static and see that you are beautiful! Jackie is right.

Love,
Betty

When I took my photo to the DVLA, the young man looked at it and said, "Is this someone you know?"

Good God, someone give the man his pipe. It might improve his disposition enough so he doesn't scare children.

Bell ringer of Notre Dame? Bell plainer of the dote dame has a certain ring to it.

Dick, your photo is almost as scary as my avatar. Careful.

I'm surprised you were told to smile. Many states tell people NOT to smile because it makes the photo harder to use for identification. I don't like my photo at all because it makes me look like a criminal and smiling would make me look like a criminal playing like he's gone straight.

Malcolm

DMV photos are the worst. Here we are also told not to smile, wear hats or anything else. It's a wonder they don't tell the women to remove their makeup and ruffle their hair!

Malcolm wrote:

I'm surprised you were told to smile. Many states tell people NOT to smile because it makes the photo harder to use for identification. I don't like my photo at all because it makes me look like a criminal and smiling would make me look like a criminal playing like he's gone straight.

Malcolm

Four states have adopted the 'no smile' rule: Arkansas, Nevada (my state), Indiana, and Virginia.

Nevada, I don't know about the other states, also make persons who wear glasses remove them.

I had such a nice photo on my license when I was in California. I wish it had been transferable.

Okay, so it's not yet "many" states, though it must be an evolving policy since people outside those four states are hearing it, too.

I'm surprised anyone anywhere can ID a person based on a stark, dour DMV photo.

Malcolm

You mean you wouldn't recognize me, Malcolm? You should see the one on my VA card. I just hold it up to the window when I want to scare squirrels away from the bird feeders.

Poor little squirrels !

You can't really discourage a squirrel. He just stands back, studies the situation and comes up with a new approach.

I don't even recognize myself from photographs of me.

Malcolm