Lets have a writing practice...

Subject: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 19, 2009 8:13 am

Lets have a writing practice:

Give a sentence, and see how many ways it can be changed by other members. I do this when I’m writing. I do an outline, and fill it with notes. The notes are keys to what I want to write in each section.

Here is an example:

An apple fell from the tree, and hit Tom on the head.

Tom enjoyed watching the branches of the great tree dance in the wind. Though many apples fell, and struck him, it eased his task of gathering.
"Three to each pie," his mother had said. "Twenty in all for the county fair."

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 9:23 am

An apple fell from the tree, and hit Tom on the head.

He looked up, there balancing precariously on the branch was a wooden box laden with apples.

"How on earth did that get up there in that oak tree?" he asked.

"Aliens" replied his mother. " It must be! Yesterday I found a whole box Grapefruit in the Cherry tree."

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 10:55 am

Forgive the intrusion, guys, but you need to take the comma out of that sentence. I'm sorry, my old teacher-self won't let it go. Compound sentences need commas. Compound verbs don't.

Ann Lets have a writing practice... 144397

(the posturing sage)

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 11:04 am

dmondeo wrote:: "How on earth did that get up there in that oak tree?"

...there in that....[that, that]

Really, now.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 11:55 am

Yes, really. It's dialogue.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 12:02 pm

Shelagh wrote:: Yes, really. It's dialogue.

It's really bad dialogue.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 12:16 pm

Marie Pacha wrote:: I know people who speak like that. (Unfortunately)

And write like that.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 12:58 pm

So far, Lane, you've criticized but offered no input as to how you would write the dialogue.

Ever hear the old saying "Put up or..."

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 1:17 pm

I once said to my brother: "It's easily the most difficult thing to do."

I couldn't stop laughing. Lets have a writing practice... 343621

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 3:19 pm

Quote :: An apple fell from the tree and hit Tom on the head.

"What the..." Tom asked as he looked up to see what had suddenly hit him on the head. His right hand instinctively felt for the lump he was sure was going to grace the crown of his head.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 5:25 pm

An apple fell from the tree and hit Tom on the head.

He fell into the leaves and lay there with his mouth open and his eyes shut. He lay there all in a heap as unconscious as a dead mouse.

Felicea discovered him there looking dead as dead could be. She shook him once and he sat up. "What is your name?"

He told her it was Tom.

"Why are all these rodents named Tom!"

Tom had no answer.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 6:03 pm

Betty can create a story out of just about anything.

Lets have a writing practice... 973110

Ann

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Tue May 26, 2009 6:11 pm

An apple fell from the tree and ht Tom in the head.

It landed on the ground beside him. He looked down at it from the pages of the book he was reading: The Universal Law of Gravitation, by Sir Isaac Newton.

"Aha!" he exclaimed. "Jung was right!"

Felicea looked at him strangely. "What, may I ask, has falling apples to do with Jung?"

"Don't you see?" Tom replied, holding up the fallen apple in one hand and his book in the other, "Synchronicity exists!"

Ann

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Wed May 27, 2009 5:59 pm

I have enjoyed this thread.

A new sentence.

A warm mist rose from the swamp and gathered on leaf and branch.

Love,
Betty

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Wed May 27, 2009 6:05 pm

Jared could barely see through the misty bog but he knew the scent of death when he came upon it.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Wed May 27, 2009 6:19 pm

Hi Merri,

It was a smell of dead herbage long since dropped on the wet ground of the swamp and decomposed into this new earth.

Subject: Re: Lets have a writing practice... Wed May 27, 2009 6:37 pm

That's not what Jared said. hee hee

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