Kids--you gotta love 'em!

Subject: Kids--you gotta love ''em! Sun May 17, 2009 10:16 pm

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel.. My mom makes me ride in my stroller, too.'
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As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Anne, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'
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Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.'
Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.'
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Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Susan her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.
'Susan,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.'
With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!
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My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse, and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't.
I had a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance company. After a pause, the adjuster asked, 'Do you let him drive often?'
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One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, 'Do you think she'll die?'
'Nope,' a little girl in the back said. 'I saw this last night on Fear Factor.'
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My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone 'Hello,' she whispered..
'Hi, honey. How's your mother?' I asked. 'She's sleeping,' she answered, again in a whisper.
'Did she go to the doctor?' I asked. '
Yes. She got some medicine,' my niece said softly.
'Well, don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?'
Again in a soft whisper, she answered, 'Practicing my trumpet.'
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On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. 'Who's winning?' I shouted.
'I am,' said one kid.
'Me,' said another.
'No, me,' yelled the third.
Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, 'Their mother is.'
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On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently.
After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust.. 'You don't have to make something up Dad. It's ok if you don't know the answer."

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Sun May 17, 2009 10:24 pm

** giggling madly ** What fun!

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Sun May 17, 2009 10:42 pm

Thanks Zada.
The last one reminds me of what my grand daughter, Natalie, said to her mother. Her mother in her 8th month of pregnancy was answering questions about the soon to be a baby brother.
She said, "So I just popped out? Can I go back in and do it again?"

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Sun May 17, 2009 10:45 pm

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Sun May 17, 2009 10:52 pm

The ultimate water slide? Kids--you gotta love 'em! 343621

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 3:27 am

I was needing a laugh thanks Zada. I think anyone that has kids can relate to these they were great.

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 6:33 am

Wonderfully funny, had an ocean wide grin on my face as I read. Very Happy

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 12:01 pm

I love 'em!

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 1:16 pm

I bet these are funnier to grandparents than parents. I had no sense of humor as a parent.

My husband and I were discussing retirement on our way into town today. I said I thought it was one of the first things in our lives that turned out close to the way we expected.

I said, "Having kids sure wasn't what I expected." Then I patted his hand lovingly and said, "Marriage wasn't either."

He didn't stop the car and ask me to get out!

Rolling Eyes

Carol

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 1:34 pm

Ha! That was a close one, Carol. Very Happy

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 1:41 pm

Carol Troestler wrote:: He didn't stop the car and ask me to get out!

He didn't slam the brakes on and catapult you through the windscreen either! Kids--you gotta love 'em! 810142

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 1:48 pm

He didn't because he probably had the same thoughts!

Laughing

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 2:02 pm

Rug rats.
Crumb snatchers.
Poo poo diapers
Knee suckers
Shoe lace pullers.
Down the back chuckers
Gas smilers
Food spitters
Hair pullers
Wet kissers

And then the teens...oh shit.
At 18 the parents are stupid.
At 21 the parents are equal.
At 25 the parents are smart again.
At 30 the parents should not drive...but they make good baby sitters.
Above 30 they want you to move near them...in some snow or desert shit hole.
They always check to see who's at the top of the list on your will.
And, yeah...you should never have a friend spend the night.

When they have kids we just grin.

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Mon May 18, 2009 7:48 pm

Domenic, you missed curtain climbers. But you sure got the teens right.

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Wed May 20, 2009 9:27 pm

Great jokes, Zada and so true too!

Thanks! Kids--you gotta love 'em! 588578

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Wed May 20, 2009 9:49 pm

Marie, you're a GRANDMOTHER?

Can we now call you, That Grand Old Gal?

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Thu May 21, 2009 12:35 am

I remember when Araya and Damien were born. What a grand day that was. All life has changed, from the clock moving slowly throughout the day to the neverending supply of diapers and formula. Expensive but lovng. Aggravating but adorable (when their sleeping).
I cherish my children. I love being dad.

Subject: Re: Kids--you gotta love 'em! Thu May 21, 2009 4:58 am

How about "Where ya been all my life, kiddo?"