New Language?

Subject: New Language? Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:33 pm

(Thought I'd pass this along)

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
"ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben
a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst
plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Subject: Re: New Language? Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:04 pm

That is great, Abe! I was already thinking that it was beginning to sound like German before I got to the punch line. LOL

I always wondered why "phonetics" didn't begin with an "F" anyway.

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:01 am

It isn't so unusual, I guess, since the English language derived from Old German.

There are a couple of problems, though. Double consonants and silent "e"'s are important signs for pronunciation. They signal to us whether we should use short or long vowels. How would we distinguish between "cap" and "cape," for instance. Double consonants signal short vowels as in "latter" and "later."

But it did mak me smil, tho. Smile

Ann

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:52 am

Very funny. One of life's great pleasures is listening to a heated argument between two Germans. I tried to learn a little German when I was there but failed miserably. That seems strange because so many words sound the same or very similar in English and German. On the other hand, there were times in England when I had no idea what someone was saying. Like the old saying, "If he was any more English he couldn't talk at all."

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:06 am

Ey up, Dick's in a pickle.

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:22 am

Shelagh,
that was sent to me by someone in the UK. I like Brit humor.

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:27 am

We have humour? Well hidden. New Language? 892798

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:28 am

The American English is full of oddities. Some words have been adopted from many other countries, and it raises confusion on spelling. I think your little post above is cute, Abe. I think some of it is still being asked about by students: double letters, ph for f, etc.

Yes, English spoken in England can be difficult to understand if they have an accent from certain portions of the land, and speak in rapid fire.

I tend to worry about texting taking over our language. It is cropping up in English classes.

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:33 am

Zada wrote:

Quote :: I tend to worry about texting taking over our language. It is cropping up in English classes.

It sure is. I had a student last night, who has been writing about his addiction to texting, and how his father "cured" him of it.

We were going over his final draft, and I pointed out a word that had been spelled incorrectly. He looked at it, and said, "Oh, no! I'm still texting."
affraid

Ann

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:00 am

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:08 pm

Shelagh wrote:: We have humour? Well hidden.

Boy, you can say that again!

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:12 pm

Dick, you need to see the picnic thread! On second thought, you might not want to go there. affraid

Subject: Re: New Language? Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:41 pm

Dick Stodghill wrote:

Shelagh wrote:: We have humour? Well hidden.

Boy, you can say that again!

We have humour? Well hidden. New Language? 892798