"Bug off," "stand off," "lay off," "back off," and any other variants of the expression, are invariably responses which indicate that someone has stepped over a line or limit or boundary.
Responses require stimuli. Someone has to have said or done something, or in some way provided a stimulus, in order to provoke a response.
We are all guests here, and as guests, we have an obligation to our host. We need to accept the limits and boundaries established by that host if we want to participate.
If our host tries several times over, very politely, to tell us we have overstepped those limits, and we continue to overstep, we have to expect an even stronger response.
Just my opinion, but it seems to me that those who have provoked a "situation" are the ones who owe an apology to the host, not the other way around.
I, for one, recognizing that administration is her job,would like to see Shelagh back, as she is an invaluable contributor as well as a much needed Admin.
Just my thoughts.