Need a Good Laugh?

A Stodghill Says So blog:
If life has become tedious and every day seems like Monday, go to http://www.criminalbrief.com/ and read today's entry by Deborah Elliott-Upton. There you will find the most recent winning entries in the Bulwer-Lytton "It was a dark and stormy night" competition. This, if you don't know, is a contest to see who can write the worst beginning of a story.
Along with the laughs, you may feel a touch of sympathy for Edward Bulwer-Lytton, who took pen in hand and in all seriousness wrote those immortal words. You will even see a picture of him with pen in hand.
Why has "It was a dark and stormy night" become the standard of bad beginnings? I don't know the answer. Thousands of equally bad, if not worse, starts can be found in both novels and short stories. If Bulwer-Lytton were able to speak up today, perhaps he would say it was all for the best. Without that immortal opening, few people would remember, let alone care, that he ever picked up that pen. Immortality is best grabbed in any way possible.
I myself have written an occasional and totally unintended Bulwer-Lytton opening. How about "Edna was a detonator, Harry was a bomb." I had no intention of writing a comedy when I put those words on paper. Nor did I anticipate scathing comments from editors.
Then there was "He sat staring at her photograph, his eyes like open windows letting the sickness of his mind escape into the room." That beginning actually was published. Bulwer-Lytton would have been proud.
In thinking about it, I believe the poor guy was dealt a bum hand. The moral of the story is that you don't have to try to be bad in order to be that way. I'm sure that is true as the sickness of my mind escapes into the room.

Those are good Dick. Even more amusing is that the greats have to work hard at being bad.

I wonder, was "It was a dark and stormy night," such a bad opening the first time it was used? When Owen Wister, back in 1902, had The Virginian say to Trampas, "When you call me that, smile," he couldn't have known it would become the most trite of all Western cliche's.

Ann

Your opening just needed a bit of tweaking, Dick. Edna was a bombshell, Harry provided the spark.

Marie Pacha wrote:

Once upon a time it was a dark and stormy night.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, it was a dark and stormy night.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, it was a dark and stormy night.

Ann

The answer to the question, is yes, I needed a good laugh. And you guys provided it!

It was a dark and stormy night. With Dick on the prowl, the dogs began to howl. With no cats in sight, he quit for the night and lit up his pipe. The storm hid the moon that would have been a boon, instead brought him gloom. It was a dark and stormy night.

Abe F. March wrote:

It was a dark and stormy night. With Dick on the prowl, the dogs began to howl. With no cats in sight, he quit for the night and lit up his pipe. The storm hid the moon that would have been a boon, instead brought him gloom. It was a dark and stormy night.

And the rain came tumbling down

It was a dark and stormy night when she peeked out from under the covers in her congested haze, down a sunny dirt road deep in bear country. (With no apologies to the Berenstein Bears).

Great laugh folks!

I think the opening sentence should be either very good, or very, very
bad. The point is to cause the reader to want to continue reading. If
it's bad enough it will seem intentional and perhaps spark some
interest.

We were in bear country on a dark and stormy night when the dogs began to howl. Dick lit his pipe, which gave us our only light, since the storm hid the moon.

ann

Phil Whitley wrote:

I think the opening sentence should be either very good, or very, very
bad. The point is to cause the reader to want to continue reading. If
it's bad enough it will seem intentional and perhaps spark some
interest.

"Many aspiring writers and authors set out to write a novel in the expectation that a publisher out there might be interested in their manuscript. Often, their drive and enthusiasm stems from the enjoyment they receive from writing their stories."

I wrote the above opening to an article about self-publishing:

http://www.narrativesonline.com/index.php/user/showInterviewSession/3

One "there" and three "their" puts it into the very, very bad category. However, I left it because it smacked of "me, me, me," which is just the point I was trying to make. In the twenty-first century bad is good. So they tell me. So there.

This is one my mom, sister, and I used a couple of years ago. We wrote it on one of those paper table covers--the ones they let people color with crayons while they are waiting for their orders.

"It was a dark and stormy night. Somewhere in Peoria, a woman walked a pig."

We drew the woman, pig, etc, with each adding to the picture. I really wished I had saved it. It was too funny.

I think that this kind of opening has been going on for a lot longer than we realize. Click on the link and check out the opening lines of Beowulf. Be sure to turn your speakers on to get the full effect. I find it neato-groovo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3hjjaUQiVA

Thanks for the good cheer, folks!