Recent Studies about men.

Subject: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:44 am

RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX.

IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER 'T'.
EXAMPLES:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
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A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
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THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT.....
YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......
YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
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WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
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WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
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WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRY TALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRY TALE ?
A NORTHERN FAIRY TALE BEGINS 'ONCE UPON A TIME.....'
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRY TALE BEGINS...........
'Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT...

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:48 am

Those are all good, Abe! Now I have had my chuckle, I can go get a cup of coffee!

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:00 am

Good , Abe,

Did you hear about the helicopter that was flying 11 people ( ten men and one woman) hangng from a rope?

The rope was about to break--one person must get off!

The woman said, " I am used to sacrifice, I wll gladly give up my place on the rope so that all can live"

The men began to clap...

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:04 am

Abe F. March wrote:: A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME king

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:26 am

Good stuff as usual, Abe, but are you ever going to have all the Johnny Rebs after you!

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:43 am

Well, I would comment, but there's some of that shit I just don't believe.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:44 am

I agree with Dick about the southern thing. I liked Alice's story. It reminds me of what happened to the Texas Aggie's when their comrade wanted to be buried at sea. They died trying to dig his grave.

Ann

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:54 am

Sounds like the Aggies that were in the back of a pickup when it went off a bridge. They drowned trying to get the tailgate open.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:55 am

In Mezico it's people Guasave, Sinaloa that have the Aggie, Pollack,etc. reputation.

They might be right, there's a sign in Guasave saying, "Residential Painters: we make house calls"

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:03 am

Don,
I don't believe it either but I found it funny and passed it along.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:15 am

Sorry Abe, but when I saw the last line of your post, I couldn't resist.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:25 pm

As Jeff Foxworthy said, there are only two things on a man's mind. Men are not complicated. They just want a beer and to see something naked. Really they are that simple.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:23 pm

Us Southern men are quite sophisticated actually. Can't you tell from my avatar? Some of those zoo recipes are pretty good too!

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:32 pm

True. There's something about being endangered that just makes a species extra tasty.

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:37 am

Richard Stanbery wrote:: Us Southern men are quite sophisticated actually. Can't you tell from my avatar? Some of those zoo recipes are pretty good too!

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:35 am

In my e-mail last night (someone else is on the same wave length as Abe!):

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man of Your House.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You
will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my
meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will
wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me
and comb my hair?'

The wife replied, 'The freakin' funeral director would be my first guess..'

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:04 am

Zada,
now you got me laughing.

It's like the man who said, "I'm the one who wears the pants in this family."
So the wife took her pants off and said, "try these on."
He said, "I can't get into your pants." She said, "that's right, and you're not going to unless you change your attitude."

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:09 am

I wonder what made him think he would last till morning? The arsenic would have kicked in long before he got his just desserts. What a Face

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:12 am

Arsenic is too traceable, though. If I did something like that, I wouldn't want to get caught!

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:16 am

Shucks, I'm just not devious enough. I would probably forget I'd added it by the time it was cooked and I'd tuck in! affraid

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:21 am

Here's another email giggle:

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married , were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, thisis something to smile about the next time you see abottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to makea bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade.....'

Subject: Re: Recent Studies about men. Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:24 am

So you like wine, eh Zada?