No Fair!

Mel,

There is a great deal of hurt in your words, so I'll avoid joking with you. There have been problems on this board. Almost a year ago, an extremely popular member of the forum left. He wasn't banned and he would be made welcome if he returned. He did not give any reasons for leaving and neither did I when asked about his sudden departure.

The real reason he left was because he wanted to do other things. We can all only use our time once and there are only twenty-four hours in the day for everyone. Those who stay genuinely enjoy being here. At times, they consider leaving and stay away for a while. If they miss the friendship here (including the disagreements), they return -- often in a much better frame of mind. Maybe they have spent the time away productively and have written something new or started a new venture that they want to share. Working alone has its benefits but so does feedback from fellow writers. Members give up a great deal of time to read WIP and offer advice. There is a private board that you cannot see until you join. On the private board, you can post anything you are working on: new novel, short story, poem, query letter or synopsis.

Brenda and I have very opposing views, but I appreciate the help she has given other members here -- and so do they! We don't have to agree to see the good in one another.

You said, "Are you willing to accept me here as I am or will I always just be a basher (my word, not yours) who needs to be put in her place?"

I won't tolerate that. I would not allow anyone to put you in your place. There is not a single member here who is better than you. If anyone had any doubt about that, they would soon know from me.

My experience with Mel was one of respect. As monitor of the AS board she tried to be fair. The problem was, and is for any monitor, is that you can't please everyone. Doing what is right rather than what is deemed popular, is tough. It's a judgment call. Sometimes the judgment is not right, as hindsight often proves. Admitting a mistake brings respect. Refusing to admit a wrong shows a weakness.
This is a diverse group and that is healthy. As long as people don't resort to name calling or become abusive, differences usually work themselves out in discourse.
The past is history. If we can refrain from engaging in dead issues, it will benefit everyone.
Having the freedom to express an opinion is important. Censorship should be a last resort.
I have just expressed my opinion.

The amount of learning on this messageboard has been enormous. Your support in one of the worst periods of my life has been priceless at a time when going out with friends has often been impossible.

I realized last night as I read many of the posts on other threads on this messageboard, that when discussions like this surface, the knots develop, and this has nothing to do with the publisher or website, but about my being a "recovering perfectionist," that I am going back to the days of never thinking I am good enough.

I find myself trying to make my writing perfect to be acceptable, and then it loses its flow, and I forget about the fun of writing which JoElle reminded me of last night.

Love, Carol

Carol,

If you don't have fun writing your story, readers will not have fun reading it.

Find a clear voice that is not yours but one you enjoy reading. Write two or three chapters then go back to the first chapter. if it reads as though someone else is telling the story and you like the way they are telling it, continue to write the remaining chapters. If it still sounds like you, do not continue; you will be going over old ground. Write something completely new. Just a thousand words would do. Make yourself into someone else: a public speaker you admire, a politician, actor or actress and tell a simple story phrased the way that person would tell the story (Jimmy Carter, Martin Luther King, Barbara Jordan etc.) and don't worry about grammar or sentence structure.

See it as an exercise in how to find a voice that you feel is pitched just right to tell your story. You have all the material you need at your fingertips -- now you must package it in a way to attract and entertain readers.

I do admire your perseverance!

These sites might be useful:

http://library.stkate.edu/guides/speeches.html
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/top100speechesall.html

Jenny, Quote - "I would suggest that everyone re-reads their post, thinks about whether or not their comment is likely to offend, and engages their brain before hitting the send button."

AMEN!

Carol, You're a breath of fresh air and joy!

Abe F. March wrote:

My experience with Mel was one of respect. As monitor of the AS board she tried to be fair. The problem was, and is for any monitor, is that you can't please everyone. Doing what is right rather than what is deemed popular, is tough.

"Doing what is right rather than what is deemed popular, is tough."

Beautiful words, Abe. Words that should be engraved in stone.

I am not going to say every decision I have made was right, especially where the AS board was concerned. I admit fault. I can only say I did the best I could with what little I had to work with at the time. I certainly didn't proceed with popular opinion and that was a downfall for many.

I admit getting p*ssy from time to time. I don't know if I can change that. As far as my posting here, I'll just take it as it comes and see what happens from there.

Thank you Abe. Your words mean a lot.