Office Christmas Party

I think I posted this last year, but it is that time of the year again.
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 01, 2007
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family

Patty

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 02, 2007
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy holidays to you and your family

Patty

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 03, 2007
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that £10.00 is too much money and executives believe £10.00 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 04, 2007
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****ing Employees
DATE: October 05, 2007
RE: The F****ing Holiday Party

Vegetarian pr**ks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your fu*cking salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,

The Bi*tch from H*ELL!!!!!!!!

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 06, 2007
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Dear Abe,

That is quite an example of dealing with diversity!

I have been to two "Holiday Parties" so far. I don't mind calling them Holiday Parties as they are. We sang Carols at both parties, and everyone had a great time. At one there was Swiss steak, chicken, and lots of vegetables, and the other was at a a restaurant where one had a choice of food.

The bottom line is people are basically free to make their own choices: to drink or not, eat veggies or meat, sit with whom they please, buy gifts or not.

And trying to please everyone is one of those impossibilities in life I don't even attempt anymore.

Great story.

Carol

I think that sometimes the PC police get a little carried away. Like Carol says, we should all be free to enjoy whatever we choose without upsetting other people.

Carol,
You touched on a sensitive subject that could make an interesting thread based on how our lives are controlled by fear. Fear of offending is just the tip of the iceberg.
I grew up with that fear factor. Being good for fear of punishment was true not only from a religious perspective but with ones behavior. Fear permeates our entire society. I'm sure we've all received letters from the government with the penalty clearly spelled out with "fine and imprisonment" for any violation. Government justifies military build-up on fear factors. Industry uses fear in promoting products, i.e., burglary alarms, and on and on it goes.
Fear is an element of control. We must be careful what we eat or drink for fear of disease. We must be careful what we say in public for fear of being condemned for some offense. Are we a free society? Only within the parameters that are set for us and they are becoming more restrictive every day.

Fortunately there are still some places where one can do what they choose, eat or drink what they please without cause for concern, however they are few and far between. If you happen to live in such a place or have a circle of friends with like minds, cherish it.

When I moved from a suburb of Chicago to the country in Wisconsin, I felt that freedom you speak of. In the suburb I felt my options were to stay home with my kids, play golf, tennis or bridge, when what I really wanted to do once I had the time after six kids, was to go to school and get a master's degree. That I did in Wisconsin and my friends here gave me a graduation party on completion of that endeavor.

Wisconsin people drink a lot of beer, and many are overweight, but you can choose to abstain, or be vegetarian, or exercise or not. I don't think people are as afraid here as in the Chicago suburb, but we've all heard the stories of Chicago lately, good and bad. Sometimes fear can encourage one to do good things, but then are we really doing them for the right reasons?

When I co-wrote the group program for people affected by life threatening illness many years ago, we talked a great deal about fear. There is a concept called "attitudinal healing" which believes there are only two emotions, fear and love. And the fears are always about not being good enough, capable enough and not being lovable, that what is required is to recognize the fear and find ways to eliminate it. I'm not sure I completely believe in this theory, but it does have some merit.

Carol

I loved the Christmas party, Abe, and sympathize with poor Patty. How true it is today.

Fear has its good and bad sides. In war it gets the adreniline pumping so a man is stronger and faster. Without it his chances of survival would diminish considerably. It must be controlled, of course, so some men truly believe they weren't afraid when they really were.

Fear can keep you from venturing into dangerous areas and from driving reckessly. Fear of losing can make an athletic team perform beyond the capabilities of its members. In a controlled situation such as a roller coaster ride it enhances the fun. Remove fear from advertising and there would be little left of it.

Unbridled fear is a terrible thing. It will destroy a person's life so it is necessary to pick our times and situations to make use of it.

Dick,
I agree. Man and animals have instinctive fears for protection. It's the imaginary fears or the fears that are imposed on us for someone's agenda that are deplorable.