Wisdom for women over 50!

Subject: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:27 am

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:32 am

Forgetting to eat is a real problem--I do that sometimes. I'm busy getting all the critters their 'meals' and when done, I'm not in a frame of mind to eat. This sometimes results in the 'shakes' the following day, and I think back to the last time I ate. If I didn't fix dinner for Al, chances are I didn't eat! Guess I am just a 'special kind of stupid'. Embarassed

And that does not translate into weight loss, unfortunately.

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:37 am

Sounds like I have stiff competition for top retard on the forum. Wisdom for women over 50! 499995

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:29 am

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

How dare you say that about me!

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:30 am

I think you have managed to keep Jackie excited, Dick. That makes you an exceptional man!!

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:11 am

I do worry about the level of "excitement" I'd have when I hit fifty. I hope it doesn't fizzle out for me. I like to still enjoy the movies and go out and be happy Cool

My friend said you'd be having problems getting up from a deep sofa and your taste buds will weaken, mean you need more sugar in your tea. Oh, and this is the worst bit, you'll have a problem peeing straight into the pan...

Subject: Re: Wisdom for women over 50! Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:25 am

Ahad, I think guys have a different set of problems than us gals. Men have my sympathies, even if it doesn't seem like it.

» A couple of old but good sources: women writing about women
» Another bit of widget wisdom
» More widget wisdom
» Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy
» The Wisdom of Morgan Freeman