It's a matter of priorities

If we had a dog he'd be hunting for a place to sleep because I would he occupying his house. Not that I did anything wrong, understand. It's because talk about medical stuff is boring.
Yesterday when the doc was using a scalpel to cut a large hunk out of my left hand he began with, "I could say this will hurt me more than it will you."
"You could say that, but I wouldn't believe you."
So as he sliced away and I grimaced, we discussed old movies, a favorite topic for both of us. When I was leaving and met Jackie in the waiting room she said, "When will the stitches be removed?"
"We agreed Casablanca is the best film ever made."
Looking at the half-inch thick bandage she said, "You can't get that wet, can you?"
"I was surprised that he thinks The Best Years of Our Lives was sad."
"He's having a biopsy done, right?"
"When a revival of Blithe Spirit ran on Broadway he flew to New York for one day just to see it."
"Did he say anything at all about your hand?"
"Can you believe he hasn't seen that film where Walter Matthau was trying to murder his wife?"
So anyway, my popularity rating isn't too high right now. Sympathy is not forthcoming whenever I say my hand hurts like hell. I'm tired of hearing, "That's the way it goes." I think "Seen any good movies lately?" is totally uncalled for.
So the next time one of these squamous cell carcinomas pops up, and they do so regularly, she can just go into the treatment room with me even though she doesn't like the sight of blood and gore. If there has to be any dull and boring medical talk it will have to come from her. The doc and I don't have time for it.

Dick,
you may have created a new way to deal with pain. Old movies, huh?

I hope the hand heals well. Casablanca might help.

Well, Dick, what's all this complaining about your hand? You've got another one, haven't you?

Blithe Spirit... I love that movie. If only my doctor had such good taste.

Dick, try the comedies. Laughter is a great healer, and that way you can drown out any sarcasm that is trying to find your ears.

Favorite movies sure beats asking "do you want to see my scars?".

You just have to have some kind of distraction at times of yucky medical treatment.

Conversation before my husband's hip surgery:

Me to the doctor: I understand you initial the right hip.

Doctor: No, no, the right hip is not the correct hip. I am going to mark the left hip which is the correct hip. (I'm sure glad he didn't listen to me!)

About an hour into what was going to be over a two hour surgery while we waited in the cafeteria:

My daughter: Oh my gosh. This is not a good sign.

Me: What, what is happening?

My daughter: Remember the man who introduced himself as the anesthesiologist?

Me: Yes?

My daughter: Well, he's standing in line ordering his lunch!

At this point the man came to our table to calm us down. He was taking a lunch break and assured us someone else had taken over his task. I still didn't think people usually left surgeries for lunch!!

Carol

I don't know, Carol. Wouldn't surprise me if some of them are talking on their cell phones.
"Scalpel."
"Yes, dear, I'll remember to stop at the grocery. Oh, did you want something, doctor?"

Being the diplomat that I am, I have overlooked the remark about still having another hand.

Quite right. I wouldn't want to make you laugh -- I know it's only an annual event.

Hope you have a speedy recovery Dick.

Dick,
How do you manage to type?

My fingers are fine. It's the back of my hand that's wrapped up like a mummy.

Who is that dashing fellow in the cap? If you are out of the dog house, I guess that makes Jackie your best friend. Don't trip on the sidewalk!

Just threw in the picture to excite the girls.
So you really did read A Dog's Best Friend. I do more tripping over rugs in this place than I do sidewalks.

Dick Stodghill wrote:

So you really did read A Dog's Best Friend.

Several times!