Occasions for Lying

Whey Lies are expected and accepted.
 
One such occasion is Birthdays.  The older one gets, the bigger the Lies.
 
First there is the birthday preparation.  I recall birthdays in the family where they tried to throw a surprise birthday party.  That’s when the lying began.  They wanted you out of the house and concocted a reason to take you somewhere while preparations were made for your return.  You, knowing it is your birthday, suspect or even know that a birthday party is in the works.  You go along with the lying diversion.  When you return home there is the great “Surprise, surprise!”  You smile and say, “I had no idea.  What a surprise!”  Your first lie of the evening.
 
Then people come up to you offering congratulations:
 
“You’re look younger every year.”
“You haven’t aged a bit.”
Etc.
 
When these same people sit down to eat, they turn to the person next to them and say:
“Notice how he/she has aged since the last birthday.”
“He has lost more hair within the past year.”
“He has more grey hair than last year.”
“Notice how he walks stooped a bit.”
“Look at those wrinkles since the last time.”
Etc.
 
Then the celebration of lies is turned into eating and drinking while looking forward to next year when the lies will become bigger.
 
Note:  In Germany, the person having the birthday throws the party.  There is never a surprise; however the lies are just as prevalent.

I always lie about my age, Abe. I add at least a decade, possibly two. Everyone tells me how good I look for my age! One day, I will trip up and someone will tell me that they thought I was older than I was admitting to!

Yep.  That could happen.

Funny People!  Why lie about your age?  Be proud and thankful for life.

To keep a career, it requires fooling most people about age.  Unfortunately, as soon as they ask for college transcripts the birth date is all over them.

I lie about my height. I tell them I was taller before I got a job with the NFL as a human growth hormone donor.