An adventure with the Merry Folk of Sherwood.

Another of Lady Marion's ladies in waiting has gone awry, as Ann shows up with her quill and scroll trying to get an interview with Robin Hood for her book, Robin Hood: The True Story of the Man of Sherwood (Or Is it Barnsdale?)

Her first question? Is King Richard alive or dead?

Ann

"Oh Ann, How long I have waited for you. I can relax now and Maid Marion should
know the status of Richard," happily spoke Alice

"I am looking forward to Marions Confessions this sunday" mumbled Friar Tuck.
"Robin will most likely not turn up as the sheriff will there."
Friar Tuck made his way back into the forest and headed toward the secret hideout.

"My dear Ann, how very good to see you. King Richard is very much alive. He is in hiding and Robin of Locksley has asked me to help with his resue lest his enemies find him before we do," Marian replied. "Friar Tuck is expecting to hear my confession this coming Sunday, but we must haste to Richard's side. There is no time to attend church before we leave the country."

Maid Marion's mom had been murdered. The suspects were many, but that is no never mind.

Upon her death, Maid Marion's mother stood before the Reincarnation Tribunal to put forth her case for her first incarnation.

After a few minutes of discussion, the tribunal declared that she only deserved the incarnation of an animal. She could choose from donky, cat, dog, or pig.

She had heard that pigs were almost as intelligent as humans, so she chose pig as her first incarnation.

Poof! She was a pig in the farmer's sty!

When she saw Alice, her heart skipped a beat.
"I am rescued!" she exclaimed.

Happily she followed Alice out of the pen and down the road where Maid Marion was awaiting breakfast.

Maid Marion never knew that her 'bit of bacon' that morning was none other than the incarnated spirit of her mum.

Mum stood before the Reincarnation Tribunal once again.

"You again! You did not last long as a pig, did you." he sneered.

Love,
Betty

"My Mom has gone, dear Alice, what am I to do?" Maid Marian cried.

"Gone, gone where?" Alice asked.

"I don't know ... she just trotted off and I haven't seen her since."

"Don't worry, she'll be back soon."

"Yes, but will I recognise her?"

Loxley? Locksley? Longstride?

Huntington? Fitzooth?

Robin or Robert?

Who is this elusive hero? What deeds and misdeeds has he truly done? Who follows him? and why are they such merry men?

Next question from Maiden Ann: What year is it, and if Richard is alive, what is the status of his younger brother, John?

Ann

"Oh mother of Maid Marion, I had no idea you were who you are when I cooked you for breakfast. You were so delicious too.

I am so distraught now,I am unable to answer Ann's many questions," sobbed Alice.

"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet -- or so I'm told, I think. All these dates are unclear in my (own) mere maid's mind, so I may be quoting ahead of my time," Maid Marian said as she tried to recall the hood's real name.

"Do not worry your empty little head about it, m'lady," Tuck said. "I know a researcher whose head is just as empty as yours but she can find anything. Quite amazing!"

"Did someone need my help?" a woman with no name (a Sheila by any other name) suddenly appeared by Friar's side.

"Can you answer Ann's questions?" Tuck asked.

The nameless woman disappeared in search of the answers to the vexing questions.

Alice picked up the old oil lamp a gift from a soldier who had travelled
to distant lands. She was intending to light it to save candles.
It was encrusted with oil and dust so she wiped it with her sleeve.

Suddenly the ground shook the lamp flew up into the air and smoke poured from its spout. " I am the Genie of the lamp." a boombing coughing voice declared out of the smoke. "I really must give up these cigars. Er oh yes, for setting me free I shall grant you three wishes."
Alice stood frozen with shock and began thinking about what her first wish should be.

Maid Marion hurried over with a bottle of wine. She said, "Here my lord, drink this."
To which the robed nobleman replied, "I like you when your sober woman. Fetch me the brandy. This is fit for only pansies."

Alice thought hard. Her first wish was to answer Ann's very pertinent questions, her second to attend impeccably to maid Marion and her third to avoid any encounter with Maid Marion's mother.


She was afraid of even killing a spider now.

Maid Marion was hysterical when it came to spiders. Too soon they saw a huge one with red eyes. It advanced
and Maid Marion schreeched with fear.

All Alice could think to do was grab a leaf and sweep it aside.

Robin jumped on his horse and rode off. He returned with the saddlebags filled with food, a bedroll behind the saddle, his bow affixed in front of the stirrups together with a quiver full of arrows.

“Come My Dear, he called. We must be on our way.” As Marion reached the side of the horse, he reached down and pulled her up behind him. “Hang on tightly,” he said as he kicked the horse and they started off at a gallop. Robin knew his way through the forest and it wasn’t long before they reached the outer ring and started through the countryside, heading south. Little John rode ahead making sure that the trail was free and acting as guide. Little John carried his trusty staff that he used as a weapon. He could slay anyone with that staff with his powerful swing. He could also clear a path with it where needed to provide passage through the thick brush. Marion felt warm and safe with her arms wrapped around Robin’s waist and her head resting on his back. Friar Tuck caught up with them on his donkey with saddle bag bulging with bottle of brew that he felt he may need to sustain him. His red nose and rosy cheeks reflected his partake of the brew. He also led a fine horse to be used for King Richard. They made good progress and soon entered the forests of Germany.

They rode on through the night pausing only to rest the horses, have a bite to eat and quench their thirst. Robin was prepared to stop and spend the night and inquired if Marion wanted to sleep. She declined saying that she didn’t want to be the cause for delay. She also didn’t want to be faced with an overnight with Robin, still a bit leery of his intentions. The presence of Friar Tuck was also a comfort.

In her heart, she trusted Robin, but still couldn’t erase the comments made by her attendants about her relationship with him. Seems their own experience with men placed men all in the same category as seeing any woman only as a sex object. Marion smiled to herself wondering if Robin saw her as a sex object. Her attendants did everything they could to help make her beautiful. Why did women do that, she wondered, if they didn’t want to appeal to men? And when it worked, they tried to act offended although flattered to be noticed.

Marion’s thoughts were interrupted when Little John rode back and discussed a change in direction. The castle Trifels would be in sight by morning, and they needed to be rested before attacking the castle to free King Richard. Robin carried a ransom in one of the saddle bags, just in case, but hoped to avoid paying if that were possible. The safety of Richard and that of Marion was a major part of his decision to carry ransom money.

As they neared the castle, a plan formed in Robin’s mind. They would start a fire and lure the castle guards away. With the brew Prior Tuck carried, they could get the guards drunk and thus create a diversion. As they neared the castle, Robin spied a Stag, and with one arrow, slew the Stag. They stopped, built a fire and prepared dinner. Prior Tuck was delighted. A good meal and something to drink would be just the thing, thought he.

The castle guards sighted the fire and came to investigate. They saw an old Friar drinking and a beautiful Maiden sitting around the fire. They were intent on joining the feast and having some of that brew. Robin spied them as they approached, knowing that his plan was working.

He invited them to join them.

“Who are ye that dare come close to the castle?” inquired one of the guards.

“We have traveled far. The Maiden wants to visit her beloved Uncle Richard that we understand is a guest at yon castle.”

“Yes, he is a permanent guest,” chuckled the guard. And no one is permitted to visit him.”

“Would you deny the Maiden a glimpse of her Uncle?” said Robin. At that, Marion approached the guard, and laying her hand on his arm said, “My good Sir, I would be most appreciative if you would be so kind and join us for dinner. May I offer you a beverage?”

The guard was entranced with Marion’s beauty and couldn’t resist her offer to join them. He dropped his weapons and sat by the fire, accepting the strong brew. Marion kept filling his cup with brew, and before long the guard was drunk. Robin and Little John took this opportunity to approach the castle gate. Little John subdued the advance guards with his trusty pole as Robin slew the tower guards with two expertly aimed arrows. They were able to enter, but didn’t know the location of the dungeon where King Richard was held. Robin returned to the campfire and taking Marion by the arm, said, “Come with me, we shall visit your Uncle.” And to the guard, he said, “Would you be so kind to accompany Maid Marion and show her the way?”

Maid Marion smiled at the guard, and placing her hand in his, said, “Please show me the way, kind Sir.” The guard complied without comment and said, “Follow me.”

As they approached the castle gate, the guard noticed that the gate was unattended and then saw the bodies of the fallen guards. His suspicions were placated when Marion placed her arm around the guard’s waist and said, “Let us not delay. I think your comrades have had too much to drink and are resting.” Without investigating or seeing the bruises caused by Little John’s club, he drew her with him and entered the castle. They walked down a long corridor hewn out of solid rock and came to the dungeon. When King Richard spied Maid Marion, there was immediate recognition. “How nice of you to visit, Marion,” he said. With a wave of his hand, Robin indicated caution. When the guard opened the dungeon door, Robin immediately subdued the guard, and motioned for King Richard to follow Little John. King Richard didn’t hesitate and was out of the dungeon and in the corridor at once. Before long, they were outside the gate. Robin threw the deer hide over King Richard’s shoulders as protection from the cold night air and also to conceal his identity from any onlookers. They quickly made their way toward the campfire. Robin whispered in King Richard’s ear explaining their circumstance and asked him to play along with their charade. He was only too glad to comply. When they reached the camp, the guards were all drunk and were feasting on the remains of the deer. Without warning, Robin and Little John secured the guards to a log and placed a sum of money next to each of them, saying, “This is a small token of Maid Marion’s appreciation for you to allow her visit to her Uncle. Maid Marion and her Uncle will spend some time alone and then you will be released. Relax and enjoy another brew.” The guard did not object.

Robin led King Richard to the horse helping him mount. He then signaled for the others to mount up and they began their retreat from the castle area heading into the forest. Once they were well away, King Richard called a halt.

“I want to thank all of you who have made this journey and taken the risk to free me. You shall be rewarded when we return to England. And to Maid Marion, he asked. “And who is this gallant man who led the rescue?”

“It is Robin of Locksley.” He has been fighting against the tyranny of Prince John and helping those oppressed by heavy taxation. Prince John has placed a price on his head.”

“I shall reward him upon our return,” said the King. “You appear to like this Robin person, and I shall do as you wish with him.”

“Yes, I do care about him, and would be pleased to have him with me always.”

“You shall have your wish, should this Robin be willing,” said the King.

"What a relief! It appears King Richard is still alive." Alice exulted.

"Maid Marion is falling in love with Robin. I like romances."

alj wrote:

Loxley? Locksley? Longstride?

Huntington? Fitzooth?

Robin or Robert?

Who is this elusive hero?

"Alas, Ann," the woman with no name said on returning from her search of the fountain of all knowledge in Cyberland, "the hood is but an outlaw in the minds of Medieval drinkers and revellers, who sang ballads about a famous outlaw named Robyn Hood. Over the centuries, myth turned into fact ..."

http://www.lib.rochester.edu/camelot/rh/RH%20Exhibit/pref.htm

As an aside

Alice, I am sorry. I was going to have Maid Marion's mom come back the second time as a flea on Robin's horse.

Abe, you did a fine job of the story.

Love,
Betty

Maid Marions mother said she was planning to be back as a flea, Now Alice wonders what she will come back as now.
Alice also marvels at Abe's story spinning ability.

Ah, said Maiden Ann, the man called Abe doth indeed spin an enchanting tale. The studies done by the woman with no name leave intriguing clues, as well. What shall be my next step in my quest to find the truth? What is it about this name, Locksley? I have heard that it was a name appropriated by one Robin Longstride, an archer in King Richard's army, who pretended to be the husband of Lady Marion Locksley to save her from the evil Sheriff of Nottingham.

A curious thing, which makes me think of my fictional futuristic incarnation of this timeless man, a 20th century hero I call Jack Thorne, who looks a bit like this man:

http://thoroughlyrussellcrowe.com/scans/vanityfair.html
who bears a striking resemblance to the Robin known as Longstride.

And the maiden Ann picked up her quill and scroll and hurried back to her work place, newly inspired by the goings-on in Sherwood..

Ann

I wish I were as knowledgeable as Ann, though Alice. Oh well, I will have to make do with what little intelligence I have.

I have lived this long.

Maiden Ann dropped her quill and thought, "Oh, sometimes I wish I could be like my friend, Alice, who always has a word for everyone and faces any adversity with wit and humor. She is a wise one, indeed."

Ann

Two handmaidens who get along! We are wise and fortunate, thought Alice. I best see to MaId Marion before Ann is left with all of the work.

Imagine her surprise when Maid Marion was nowhere to be found. Lo she had disappeared with the MAN!

Meanwhile in a secret underground hideout beneath the forest of Nottingham
The Phantom Frolicker and his faithful companion The Rumbler await their conclusion in this fair tale.

"Holy broken wheat Frolicker our good deeds in this fair hamlet have gone unnoticed. Its seems this town is not ready for cereals where mysterious occurrences are battled by a dynamic duo."

" Never mind Rumbler one day we shall take on new names in a far off land, a City perhaps called Gotham. There we will cast off our crop connections and fight crime the old fashioned fantasy way."

alice wrote:

Two handmaidens who get along! We are wise and fortunate, thought Alice. I best see to MaId Marion before Ann is left with all of the work.

Imagine her surprise when Maid Marion was nowhere to be found. Lo she had disappeared with the MAN!

She ran off with Russell Crowe.

Russell the scarecrow eh?

Scarecrows are very bewitching and I don't blame her for runining off with one, thought Alice.

She has saved us a lot of fuss and muss.
I don't need to vex myself wth worries about her hair,naiils and attire now.

Peace at last!