An adventure with the Merry Folk of Sherwood.

"Don't smile," He continued. "Thievery of this magnitude is a hanging offense in these parts."

Maid Marion said, "I ddn't do it, she did." and she pointed at me. I was hauled away by the farmer and locked up in the pigsty.

Gratitude!

All through the day as the pigs trampled me, I wondered why my friends had deserted me. I thought of the kind things I had done and wondered why they were forgotten.
For certain I would be hanged if this farmer had his way.

BUMMER!

When I was the most frightened suddenly...

Ann appeared. I was so glad to see her. "I have an idea," she said and lowered her voice.

Ann is so clever I immediately felt better.

She whispered to me...

Eleanor of Acquataine wanders in.

"Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here?"

"Oh Eleanor I am so glad to see you! Ann said you would come. For now, please get this pig off me, unlatch the door and away we will go.


We must see how Maid Maron is. She knows everything and will tell you why you are here. "

They find Maid Marion crying because she thinks they have hanged Alice and she is worried that her mattresses and linens are lost.

20 donkeys are hard to lose and they are found drinking water nearby.

"Lady Eleanor, what a pleasant surpise! I have been absent from your side when I should have been in your attendance. The dastardly Sir Robin Locksley pulled me up onto his charger and carried me off into the woods. He's a sex maniac! So beware!

"Oh ... and he's a hood!"

Well, that's YOUR problem, isn't it? haha...

Maid Marian should have known that she would receive no sympathy from Lady El. Being the kind soul she was, the fair maid would not try to divert Sir Robin's attentions in the Lady's direction.

Instead, she concentrated on her fellow maid, Alice, who had experienced a torrid time with the donkeys, an irate farmer and a dead pig. She wondered if there was any connection between the pig and the hood but put the idea aside.

It has suddenly gone quiet, she thought. I wonder where Alice is ... and did she find Ann?

Ann was much too busy writing to be bothered with Alice and her woes. Let her work her fingers to a bone takiing care of Maid Marion.
After all every person has but twenty-four hours in a day.
She sent Lady Elizabeth to help and that is all she would or could do.

Lady Elizabeth may be a victim of the sex maniac if she isn't careful!

In walked Friar Tuck looking agitated and out of breath.
"I Need a drink" he said wiping sweat from his brow with his sleeve. " just came from a meeting at the priory with the cardinal. Lord Thomas has had his field of wheat damaged. They all think it was the devils work. I dare not tell him it was you Marion. The cardinal would not understand about rolling in the hay with Robin. These merry frolics will ruin my reputation."

Thank Heavens A friar --now we have hope.

"'Twas not me, dear Friar Tuck. I plead the fifth ... oops wrong century ... it was a jolly green giant and his morris dancers. They were so drunk their circles went awry and spun across the wheat in shreds."

"Wheat in shreds on this forum? Don't you mean in threads?" Tuck said.

"No friar, in shreds ... shredded wheat."

Robin was surprised when Maid Marion jumped behind him on his stead and said, "let's get out of here. Please take me somewplace where we can be alone."
Are you not afraid of your reputation?" Asked Robin.
"What reputation? I think it would be fun to create one. I've been pampered to death and prevented from having any fun. I need to get away from here. The attention I'm getting is not the kind of attention I desire. Can you think of something we can do?"
Robin didn't reply at once, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. "I know what I'd like to do, but I think you may find me too bold. I think I'm in love with you. I don't know if I can refrain from expressing my love."
"Oh Robin, I feel a strong attraction to you, but it is right? I have saved myself for someone like you, and sometimes I think I will burst. Prince John tries to seduce me at every occasion, but I can't stand him and have successfully repulsed his advances." I don't intend to resist Robin should he make any advances toward me, thought Marion.

"Dear, Alice, please help me. I don't seem to be in control of my own thoughts. Ever since those patterne appeared in the wheat, my mind has had a mind of its own."

"What?" Alice said. "How does your mind have a mind of someone else?"

"Oh, dear Alice, I'm not making sense, am I?"

"No less than usual. In fact, I'd hardly notice the difference."

"Oh, that's a relief. I thought I was going mad. Or going round in circles."

"What kind of circles? I hope you are all right ." answered, Alice.

"Would you like me to get Lady Elizabeth to acess you? "

"Lady Elizabeth is doing a gig tonight with Ladies Eleanor and GaGa. The pussycat trolls, I think ... something like that."

Oh Maid Marion I meant to say Lady Eleanorl! I have obviously lost my mind. Please forgive me, Clearly my time with the pigs did me no good.

As Robin and Marion went galloping across the wheat field, Marion's hands slipped from Robin's waist and she fell off. Robin pulled the reins sharply causing the horse to rear and paw the air. Robin was concerned that Marion may be hurt and turned back to help. The pattern of the wheat showed where Marion first landed and then rolled, leaving circles in the wheat, as she twisted and turned. Marion did not appear hurt, but instead she was laughing. Robin jumped from the horse and ran to her aid. As he reached to pick her up, she suddenly put her hands around his neck and pulled him down.
"Not so fast Robin, can't you see I need to rest a bit. Won't you lie here with me for a spell?"
"MiLady." "Robin, please don't call me that."
"What do you suggest?"
"What somes to your mind, when you see me?"
"You don't want to know, my dear, may I call you simply, "My Dear?"
"Yes, if you mean it, most certainly."
"Okay, my dear, My dear it shall be, until such time as I can make you my Dear.
Do you think KIng Richard would approve?"
"I think he will approve whatever he perceives as my wishes."
"I can't wait to meet your King Richard. We must set out at once on our quest to free him. Come, allow me to assist you on the horse. And this time, hold onto me."
"I shall cling tight, Robin."
As Robin placed Marion on his stead, Marion brushed his cheek with her lips. At first Robin thought it was an accident, but when he looked into her eyes, he knew it was no accident, and that they were destined to become close(er).
The pattern left in the wheat field would confound people for many years. They would be seen as mysterious 'crop circles' when in fact they were made by an untimed-tumble. Due to a hasty departure, there remained no other traces to identify the culprits or any activity they may have engaged in.

At sunrise the next day Friar Tuck is frog marched by two henchmen, soldiers in the employ of the Sheriff, to the edge of a freshly damaged wheat field.
"Our master is quite upset that you have told us some religious horse crap about the devil doing this but we have a witness who saw a horseman and a mysterious Lady in this field.
" Oh no " said Tuck. "I think I know who your about to say."
"It was the Phantom Frolicker and his side kick The Rumbler."
"Oh" replied Tuck. "I thought for a moment you were going to say Robin Hood."

alice wrote:

Oh Maid Marion I meant to say Lady Eleanorl! I have obviously lost my mind. Please forgive me, Clearly my time with the pigs did me no good.

The pigs? I suspected as much. Friar Tuck has been rumbled and the dastardly Locksley tumbled -- in the wheat field, no less.

Dear me, what a to do ... and what am I to do? How long can I keep Sir Robin at bay? At least the frolicking in the field will stay a secret -- a mystery that will remain for centuries and never be solved.

Now, where, is Alice? Did she escape from the pigs?

Yes, her body escapad but her mind remained with the pigs. She is trying to get herself
pulled together to make Maid Marion gorgeous as usual.

As this thread has become incomprehensible to me, I will not hazzard an answer, except that I have not joined a grammar force and do not intend to join one.

My grammar speaks for itself.