Failure

Our greatest admirer Alan believes a publisher can ruin your career by publishing your work. To my mind this means he published and flopped and never recovered from the disappointment. Surviving failure is something writers have to master. What advice would you give someone who tried but failed. How best can we avoid the resentment and negative blame game that can come from failure?

Personally, I like violence and denial.

But then there's always self-publishing

mike bryon wrote:

Our greatest admirer Alan believes a publisher can ruin your career by publishing your work. To my mind this means he published and flopped and never recovered from the disappointment. Surviving failure is something writers have to master. What advice would you give someone who tried but failed. How best can we avoid the resentment and negative blame game that can come from failure?

Maybe take the failure as a lesson to be learned, let it go, and move on. It also might help if we accept responsibility for our mistakes instead of looking for a scapegoat.

Ann

I invited someone in our home once and they stole something. We did not realise until afterwards. It really got to me. In the end I have to imagine they were standing in front of me and I gave them the object and told them they could have it. After that it didn’t vex me so much. So I agree that letting go can help if you find yourself in the situation where something is eating you up.

In one of Dick Stoghill's blogs he quotes his wife, Jackie, as saying. "I never said you did it. I said I blamed you for doing it."

I always liked that.

Some people have to have someone to blame for their own doings if they come out less than they imagined they should. I know people who run right into you and then blame you for being in their way.

Mostly, people who blame other people for their own failures have an overblown opinion of their own importance in this world of many and consider that they are so unique and wonderful that the rest of us are of secondary imortance in the scheme of things. They make great dictators and tyrants. But when they failed at that, it would not be their fault, either. Too bad they cannot turn all that blame into themselves and eat their own hearts out. It would save the world a lot of grief.

Love,
Betty

Sometimes failure has nothing to do with anything we have done right or wrong. It just happens. But we aren't failures, we have just failed at a task or situation.

Carol

Like I learned from Maxwell Maltz in Psycho-Cybernetics, a guided missile moves forward by correcting itself when it goes off course - something it cannot avoid doing. Staying on course is a matter of recognizing an error and correcting it. No need to feel shame and find someone to blame. Just the way life works.

Ann

Surviving as a writer?

I have been learning the craft of writing for many years. I have never submitted my work for Publication. I do not believe a writer can fail if they want to be published. If they stop learning the art of writing, and stop submitting...I would say they had nothing to continue.

Hemingway was rejected more than once...he even self published...would you say he failed?

When my talent is the best I can do; I will submit, submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,
submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,
submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,
submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,
submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,

And if that don't work, I will, I will spend more time on my talant, and...submit,submit,submit,submit,submit,submit.

With all due respect, domenic, if you never submit your work, never expose yourself to possible failure, you will never be published, either.

If submitting one's work is always something to do in the future, when the work is perfect, then one can continue to live with the illusion that they will never fail.

Just me.

Ann

When I am published by a NYP...I will post;

"What do you think of me now?"

I have no illusions about the publishing world...they only take what will make money. I am not that good...yet...but I will be.

Domenic,

You may very well be good enough. The publishing world is in flux and unwilling to take too much risk. New authors are being accepted but for two or three book deals. You need an agent. Then you can work together to persuade publishers that, by signing you, they can make a great deal of money.

Domenic,
You will never have a perfect manuscript. It may become perfect in your eyes but not that of an agent/publisher. You give it your best and then send it out for review.
The more I read new submissions the more I realize what a publisher looks for and why people get rejected. Some submissions don't even follow simple submission instructions and can get rejected by that rather than the work itself. Some think one format "fits all" and send it to numerous publishers at once.
If you believe in your work and are personally satisfied with it, get another opinion (or two) before submitting it. Then follow the submissions guidelines.
It's a lot like playing the lottery. You can't win if you don't play. The more rejections you get with explanations of why, the better your next submission will be.

3/22/2010

I feel if you don't try, you'll never know
if your good at it. Ten years ago I took
up painting , I painted for five years , out
of 25 paintings I kept five, the rest were
donated to charity to raise money for pets
and children , silent auction to raise money.
I have four books published, makes me proud.
I have a 5th book, murder mystery still trying
to work on, can't think for the last four weeks !
I love watercolors , their beautiful, going to try
to learn, I'm stubbron I will learn. I've written a
Garden Column several years ago, that lasted one
year till the owner sold the paper, I love gardening
indoors and outdoors....Oh yes, photography is my
passion...


Cheers..Joe

Dear Domenic,
I understand your goal of perfection. Perfection is seen uniquely by each brain that looks upon any work. I would have to say, please your own self, set your own standard for what you think is perfection and submit, submit, submit.

The saying that you cannot please all the people all the time is true.

It really is you you have to convince that your book is perfect. Then, let it fly.

Everyone has an opinion, but they are not the person who struggled with just the right word to make your mind come alive in another's mind who is reading that word. It is you who is the author. Stand by yourself and with yourself with faith in your talents. You are not just a pretty face there. Go forth with confidence.

Love,
Betty

Hi domenic, What do you write?

If I don't accept responsibility for my failures, how than can I accept credit for my successes?

Harpe

mike bryon wrote:

Hi domenic, What do you write?

Fiction

I have sketched out a couple of fiction ideas but I haven’t shown them to anyone let alone a publisher or agent. If I did I would have to change them. For example I call one Boy but I would change it to Mango Man or something if I were to try and publish it. Publishing is an act of commerce writing is not. I’ve only published non fiction and I suspect getting fiction published is a lot harder. I say this because a writer of published fiction is an author whereas a writer of non fiction is an ‘expert’ (in their subject area).

E. Don Harpe wrote:

If I don't accept responsibility for my failures, how than can I accept credit for my successes?

Harpe

I sgree. I will also define what constitutes a success or a failure.

alice wrote:

E. Don Harpe wrote:

If I don't accept responsibility for my failures, how than can I accept credit for my successes?

Harpe

I sgree. I will also define what constitutes a success or a failure.

Good for you, Alice. We all have the right and even the responsibility to define ourselves and our lives rather than accepting the opinions of others as valid.

Ann

Thank you, Ann.

It would be hard for me to fail at writing, since I don't claim to be one.

I am torn here. I am awaiting news of my children's book
publication. If it doesn't find a publishing home, so be it. Life will go on. I will not consider myself a failure.

I was a speaker, not a writer. Now I may be neither.

I am alive.

Thank God!

Quote :

I am alive.

Thank God!

Ditto that!!

Ann

Me too, Alice. I love being alive, the friendships, family, ability to write on this board.

I agree, E. Don.

Carol

alj wrote:

We all have the right and even the responsibility to define ourselves and our lives rather than accepting the opinions of others as valid.

Ann

Carol,

I am so glad you are alive. That is far more important to me than anything you could ever write.

Love ya,


Alice