WHAT IS THE BEST JOKE YOU EVER HEARD ?

9/10/2009

Hi Everyone...

What is the best joke... you ever heard ...I'll go
first... I really don't remember who told me this joke.


A Congressman dies and goes to heaven, St. Peter is on
duty and he says: " I've never handled a congressman
before and I can't bother God, he's busy. Tell you what
I'll send you to Hell for 24 hours , then when you come
back I'll send you to heaven, then you can decide where
you want to go. The congressman thought for a moment
and said: " Okay, send me to hell for 24 hours. He steps
into an elevator and in a split second the doors open and
he's in hell. He see's all his political friends dressed to the
nines, the gents in tux's and the ladies in evening clothes
dripping with diamonds. There's a huge buffet with filet
mignon, caviar, champagne. The Devil is dancing up a
storm, everyone is laughing and having a good time . When
his 24 hours are up, he see's St. Peter and he says: " Okay,
now I'm going to send you to heaven. He gets in the elevator
and in a split second he's in heaven floating on a soft downy
cloud. Every cloud that passes him has someone playing a
sweet musical instrument. 24 hours later he's back in front of
St. Peter: " We'll have you decided , asks St. Peter." The
congressman thinks for a moment, then answers him: " I never
thought I'd say this, but I want to go to hell." St. Peter looks
puzzled and says: " Are you sure ?" The cogressman says.
" Yes, I'm sure." He gets on the elevator and in a split second
the doors open, he stares in shock. All his friends are dressed
in rags, picking up garbage that's falling from above. He goes
over to the devil and asks him: " What happened ? Yesterday
everyone was dressed to the nines and there was a huge buffet
of fine food ?" The devil turns and asnwers: " Yesterday they
were campainging, today the public voted...

Cheers..Joe...

Maybe not the best I ever heard, but funny and along the same lines at yours.
______________________________________

A man goes to heaven and stops at the gate and looks in. He sees these huge meters with pointers on them. Some are moving a little some a little more. He turns, looks as St. Peter and asks him what they mean.

"Those are lie meters," St. Peter said. "And each of them has the name of one of the world's great leaders on it. The pointers makes one complete revolution for every lie the person has ever told."

The man points to one fan that is barely moving. It looks as if it's only made one revolution. "Who's meter is that?" he asked.

"Oh, that's Mother Thereas, she only told one lie in her life."

"Well, there's one that's never moved at all. Whose is it?"

"That is the meter for Jesus. He never told a lie, not even one."

The man looked around and saw meters for the Clintons, for MLK, for JFK, and for almost every leader he'd ever heard of. But one was missing.

"I can't find the meter for our last President, George W. Bush. Where is it?"

"Oh," St Peter replied, "God has it in his office, he's using it for a ceiling fan."
_________________________________________

Shelagh, was this the joke that George got so upset with? I don't remember.

9/10/2009


Don...

That was funny...


Cheers..Joe

heres a good one i heard

a women, Kelly, is in debts so she prays to god "please god help me im in so much debt they're gonna take my house and car, please help me win the lottery"
the weeks passes n she doesnt win the next week she prays again
"Please god help me they're going to take my children please help me"
that week goes by and again she doesnt win
"WHY WONT YOU HELP ME?"She screams in paryer
then a big booming voice shouts
"meet me half way kelly, buy a ticket"

Three great jokes!

Don, George left because he wanted more time to spend on his hobbies: gold panning and Tomb Raider games. Members stay or go for their own personal reasons. That's the bottom line.

Wow! George Bush was a member here and didn't like the jokes . . . oops, I mean,

"George left because he wanted more time to spend on his hobbies: gold panning and Tomb Raider games. Members stay or go for their own personal reasons."

We are a famous group.

Love,
Betty

I'll be sending you an email soon, Betty.

Shelagh, I don't care why George left. But the fact is that he got pissed off over some political posts. That's the true bottom line.

Here is a sick joke.

Dave and I came home yesterday.

In Chicago we saw a vast wasteland of closed car dealerships.

I said, "I wonder what the Republicans do when they loose their jobs, homes and healthcare?'

Quick as a wink, Dave answered, "They aren't Republicans anymore."

Sorry, I laughed!

My last pay review,
Oh how I laughed for days.

Was it a funny joke or a sick one?

sick!