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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Comedy   Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:22 pm




You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and not too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou .

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don't kno w. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something ?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with yo ur computer.

COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............

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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:54 am

I can picture them doing that routine.
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A Ahad
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:56 am

Do I love comedy Smile . Sort of reminds me of 'Steptoe and Son' and 'In Sickness and in Health'. Both shows had comedians star in them who would have said similar things to Abbott and Costello...
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Malcolm
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:11 am

Great routine, the Who's on First. And it translates well into this wacky conversation
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:59 am

If there is anyone who isn't familiar with Abbott and Costello, I feel badly for them. I should think that most libraries would have their videos, though. They were hilarious. I do remember seeing the "Who's On First" routine many times on television. But that was many years ago. I think one of the channels on sattelite ran a bunch of their movies not long ago.
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thehairymob
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:02 am

I just love watching them when I was a kid even though it was years after they made the films Very Happy
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Phil Whitley
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:12 am

Oh, God... I listened to them on radio!
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:04 am

Leroyís prayer request:.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: 'Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?'

Leroy replies: 'Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.'

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head, lifts his eyes and head to the Heavens and prays and prays and prays.

After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks Leroy: 'Leroy, how is your hearing now?'

Leroy says, 'I don't know, Reverend, it ain't until next Wednesday.'
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:19 am

Good one Abe!
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Helen Wisocki
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:54 am

Very funny!
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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Sep 24, 2008 10:20 am

I liked that, Abe. Reminds me of the old Red Skelton routine when he walks into a bar and asks if they have anything for hiccups. The bartender picks up a wet bar rag, slaps him back and forth across the face a few times and says, "Did that do it?"
"I don't know, it's for my wife out in the car."
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:09 am

Dick,
I needed that belly laugh. And I'm laughing as I write this.

I suppose that gets back to that word, assume.
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:36 am

From Garfield comic strip:

"We all get heavier as we get older because
thereís a lot more information in our heads.
So Iím not fat Iím really intelligent and my head couldnít hold anymore
so it started filling up the rest of me.

Thatís my story and Iím sticking to it."
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JoElle
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:45 am

zadaconnaway wrote:
If there is anyone who isn't familiar with Abbott and Costello, I feel badly for them. I should think that most libraries would have their videos, though. They were hilarious. I do remember seeing the "Who's On First" routine many times on television. But that was many years ago. I think one of the channels on sattelite ran a bunch of their movies not long ago.

Thanks to XM Radio's Old Time Radio my husband and I enjoy a lot of those radio shows. The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Boston Blackie, The Whistler, Dragnet, Burns & Allen, Dimension X, and a bunch more.



Here Zada! Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M&feature=related
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:01 pm

Abe, I have that for one of my screensavers!!
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Biblical verse   Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:40 pm

Bible:
Acts 2:38


An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!',
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As t he officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:04 pm

How wonderful!!
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:40 pm

Abe,

Love it!
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 7:38 am

A RETIREE'S THOUGHT.

My wife said, "Whatcha doin today?"

I said, "Nothing."

She said, "You did that yesterday."

I said, "I wasn't finished."
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:17 am

I like that one and think I will use it!!
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Brenda Hill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:19 am

Abe, I loved the Abbott and Costello routine with the computers. How priceless, and exactly what I needed. I couldn't sleep last night, too many 'doom and gloom' thoughts, but as I was reading, I started laughing. Funny, I can't think 'doom & gloom' when I'm laughing.

Thanks.
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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:28 pm

Great ones, Abe.

Doom and gloom thoughts, Brenda? Were you thinking about me?
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Brenda Hill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:34 pm

Oh, what's the name of that character who used to go around with that cloud hanging over his head? Darn, can't think of it. But no, Dick, I wasn't thinking of you this time. I think of you when I go for crab.
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Phil Whitley
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:44 pm

Joe Btfsplk

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Brenda Hill
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PostSubject: Re: Comedy   Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:47 pm

Aha! That's it, Brew. Perfect.
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