Powerful Women

I have read many times that women in the forefront of politics, government and industry want "power" as if "power" is a bad word.

Since when has "power" been a bad word? Why is that men have ruled the world, corporate boardrooms, religion and the home? It is their belief that they are endowed with "power" by virtue of their gender. They exert their power through their language, the way they carry their bodies, their testosterone love for contact sports and war. Power is a man's birthright. A man who doesn't appear powerful is a "wimp," overly sensitive, a mama's boy, and other negative labels.

All these labels are a detriment to the real issue. Women have the intellect and the aptitude to make substantial contributions to this world, in every aspect of world affairs. The field, however, is overloaded with men and their style of management. If a woman is going to succeed, it is the rare woman who can worry about a broken fingernail and whether her seams are straight that can also pound on a board table and demand to be heard.

I hope Hillary Clinton does seek power; just as I hope every woman seeks the power to be heard, understood, and given the same rights to participation in society enjoyed by men. In no way does power reduce the feminine qualities of nurturing and sensitivity; it provides the avenue for applying the broad spectrum of human experience to life's challenges.

No one ever accuses a man of being power hungry: it's understood that it is his birthright. Why is wealth so important? Because with wealth comes power; with immense wealth comes immense power.

The horrid things that happen to women are the result of men exerting power over them. Complaining that a woman seeks power is really the result of fear on the part of men that women will approach any bit of equality to men's ability to claim wealth and power.

I do not wish to be a man. With that gender comes its own set of expectations and challenges. Neither do women who seek "power." I am pleased that I am born with a natural propensity to be a caretaker and nurturer. However, those skills are not given "power" in the economy and therefore they do not provide for wealth either.

A powerful female is one who is not overwhelmed by the wealth and power of men. A powerful female is able to use her skills and abilities to benefit society. Hooray for every powerful female. It was a challenge to get there.

Extremely well said, DK.

Power itself is not gender-specific. Women and men are not alike. That is a very good thing. I, like you, am perfectly satisfied with being a woman.

Men often tend to equate power with dominance, control, and winning through competition.

Women, I think, are more inclined to see power as a personal force that comes that comes from within oneself, a power that has little or nothing to do with controlling others.

It's more about the qualities we call masculine and feminine than it is about men and women. Those terms are partly biological and partly historical We all have some elements of both poles.

Instead of masculine competition, today's problems require the implementation of the feminine process of cooperation, in order to be solved in such a way that everyone "wins."

Masculine power through domination, or "power over" is not going to solve today's problems. What is needed right now is the feminine concept of individual "empowerment."

We aren't looking to create a matriarchy to replace the patriarchy. We are looking for a system that values both equally.

There is really nothing to be afraid of.

Ann

It is better to be a slave than a King. It is better to be poor than rich. The best men in the world…never won at sports, drank the most beer, killed the biggest game, held high office, ruled over a giant corporation, had the biggest bank account, held great power, he gives his last piece of bread to one who has none, he helps other in secret…no. The real men trudge behind a plow, pull fish from the sea, will ride a box car across the country to get a days work to feed his family, a good man shuns the spotlight. A good man serves others.

Some women understands what a man is…most do not...that is why most women are unhappy…they are trying to be equal with an image that is not good, nor represents a man.

A man is someone who has as much expectations on him as a woman does -- but the expectations are different. Sometimes, women feel that they have to do it all to be valued by society. They don't ... and they shouldn't try to. If the only thing a woman does is produce the next generation of healthy, caring, hard-working individuals, then she has fulfilled all expectations upon her. Everything else is for her own personal fulfilment.

Not so for men. They can be rotten fathers and still be admired for other achievements. That's the way it is.

I don't know many unhappy women. I know a lot of unhappy men.

Ann

10/23/2011


Hillary for President 2012


Cheers..Joe....

dkchristi wrote:

No one ever accuses a man of being power hungry:

Happens all the time. "Can you smell it? The sweet scent of white marble."

Dear Al,

You make me smile. White Marble, White Diamonds.....the mind boggles if the two get together.



Love,

Betty

Some men do not like women in power. I recall well the day a doctor who was an elder in the church informed me, that my job in the church was to tell the children's stories. I was the Chairperson of the finance committee. I wisely resigned and left. Let him run the place.

alj wrote:

I don't know many unhappy women. I know a lot of unhappy men.

Ann

Me too.

joefrank wrote:

10/23/2011


Hillary for President 2012


Cheers..Joe....

I won't vote for her--too old.

My intent in starting this blog was not to bash either men or women. My only issue is with people who see strength in females or sensitivity in males as a reason for labels. Leadership requires both at the right time and in the right circumstances.

There is always anecdotal evidence to support any position we choose to take. Statistically, the national government and the state governments are full of male testosterone and it takes a strong female to succeed in either environment. One way for men to diminish a woman's strength to to label her as "power hungry" when she exhibits behaviors that show strength of purpose and direction, the very thing for which men are admired.

The other side of the coin is diminishing a woman's strength by labeling her unable to lead because of her feminine qualities. It's interesting that those parts of the world still mired in tribal and warring societies diminish the role of women more than developed countries. Once women are allowed to shine, their multiple talents are found useful in a growing economy.

Equally, the opposition is quick to label a male who shows empathy and thoughtfulness as "weak" when he doesn't behave like a bull, pawing the earth and charging forward.

I was expressing these views in mixed company yesterday. One of the men said, "women who think the way you do turn off men." Not real men.

I would call that a threatening, demeaning comment. He was trying to quiet you. You could have responded, "Thank you for your timely illustration."

What's interesting is that his harsh and personal attack did stop me from engaging in further conversation.

I remember when I was first writing on the PAMB, Dick Stodghill thought D.K. was a male. I wonder if his opinion of my words changed when the fact that I am female emerged.

10/24/2011


Can you name 100 of the most powerful women
in history ?....



1. Queen Elizabeth
2. Eva Peron
3. Gold Meir
4. Queen Isabella
5. Imelda Marcos


We'll 95 more to go , can you name them ?


Cheers..Joe..

In my experience, I have met and known more "balanced" men and women in my children's generation than in my own. My son, both my sons-in-law, and my nephew, all tend to like strong women. I met my nephew's intended last year at my brother's funeral, and noticed how she fit in very quickly with my three and their spouses, as well as my sister-in-law's niece and nephew and theirs.

Today it is more the norm for women to have careers, and for husbands to share in the work of the house and child-rearing. In today's society, from my perspective, the need for a "division of labor" has greatly diminished.

Things started to change in my generation, when affordable, effective means of birth control allowed couples the have intimate relationships without fear of unwanted pregnancies, and the sexual revolution began. And it was a good thing, because the old dictum of "be fruitful and multiply" had been followed to the point of overpopulation, and now, the situation has reversed, and our survival in the future will probably depend on limiting the number of children we produce.

In older times, the differentiation of gender roles was actually necessary for the communities to thrive, and the roles themselves required the development of different attitudes and skills. Women maintained the home, took care of and nurtured the children that they had given birth to, and that meant the men had to be the ones to go out into the world to "bring home the bacon," so to speak. Over time, that situation led to the males of the species having a greater diversity of experience, which often led to a greater degree of learning. And those circumstances, over time, contributed to the impression that those males might be more intelligent than their female counterparts, and that perception led, over time, to the denigration of the females and their observed qualities.

That is simply not the world we live in today, and some men, mostly older men, still seem to feel threatened by the new rules. And some mostly older women are still uncomfortable with stepping outside the old lines.

These are just my observations of the people I have known and associated with, but they go along with my own, personal readings in anthropology, sociology, and psychology.

The world is changing. The perceptions of gender differences are a big part of that change; as DK observed, it is the countries that limit the roles of women to the greatest degree that are the most war-like.

And it was there that what we are calling the "Arab Spring" began.

Ann

joefrank wrote:

10/24/2011


Can you name 100 of the most powerful women
in history ?....



1. Queen Elizabeth
2. Eva Peron
3. Gold Meir
4. Queen Isabella
5. Imelda Marcos


We'll 95 more to go , can you name them ?


Cheers..Joe..

Queen Victoria
Indira Ghandi
Benazir Bhutto
Cleopatra
Catherine the Great
Aung San Suu Kyi

Shelagh wrote:

joefrank wrote:

10/24/2011


Can you name 100 of the most powerful women
in history ?....



1. Queen Elizabeth
2. Eva Peron
3. Gold Meir
4. Queen Isabella
5. Imelda Marcos


We'll 95 more to go , can you name them ?


Cheers..Joe..

Queen Victoria
Indira Ghandi
Benazir Bhutto
Cleopatra
Catherine the Great
Aung San Suu Kyi

Gloria Steinem
Sandra Day O'Connor
Katharine Hepburn
Mary Cassatt
Margaret Sanger

It would seem powerful(sic) women have put God out of date, and replaced him with their own thinking...lets see who comes out standing.

Copy this one Alice.

Good responses to this thread. I was hesitant of weighing in on this sensitive subject, however thought I’d add my two cents.
Ability has nothing to do with gender. From my observations, a woman seeking upward mobility (power) appears to think she must mirror the actions of a man. That is the first mistake. She tries to imitate the dress of men and hide her femininity. Instead of being the woman she is, she wants to become man in appearance and actions.
A Queen has power. She doesn’t need a sex operation or wear pants to get respect. A woman loses my respect when she tries to be a man.
Sometimes a woman rules by allowing the man to think he makes the decisions. Femininity is often a plus in negotiations. It can disarm and expose the weakness of an opponent.
Ego may be the largest detriment for a woman in business, i.e., trying to prove something, when there’s nothing to prove. Trying to top the man is counterproductive. Allowing the man to think he is clever or smart while getting what she wants is power.
A woman should be true to who she is and let results do the talking. Respect follows.

Abe wrote:

Quote :

From my observations, a woman seeking upward mobility (power) appears to think she must mirror the actions of a man. That is the first mistake. She tries to imitate the dress of men and hide her femininity. Instead of being the woman she is, she wants to become man in appearance and actions.

I agree with you completely. But a generation ago, and in some areas today, the "dress code" was required if you wanted to move up the ladder, especially in corporations.

Even now, in many businesses, the preferred "costume" for women in business is a business suit (which can mean a simple straight skirt, not necessarily pants), buttoned white shirt, and tie or scarf. A big part of the reason has to do with sexual attraction, or avoidance of it.

Ann

dkchristi wrote:

Equally, the opposition is quick to label a male who shows empathy and thoughtfulness as "weak" when he doesn't behave like a bull, pawing the earth and charging forward.

Your characterizations of and metaphors for such stereotypes suggest bias.

I admit to being biased. Since I am not a man, I don't know why they choose their perspectives, but I cannot help but wonder if a thread about Powerful Men would have created such a furor.

Ann

dkchristi wrote:

I wonder if his opinion of my words changed when the fact that I am female emerged.

Anecdotal evidence.

Here's some more anecdotal evidence that tends to reinforce your suggestion that we are conditioned to apply stereotypes:

I was meeting with the claims adjuster and his boss for my company's hospitalization provider. They were denying a claim, saying that the condition wasn't covered. The dialog went like this:

Me: Perhaps you should discuss this with Dr. Shulein.

Him: I did. I discussed it with him on several occasions.

Me: Really?

Him: Really. He and I spoke only yesterday about this case.

Me: You are lying.

Him: How dare you say that?

Me: Dr. Shulein is a woman.

The meeting fell apart after that. The claim was approved.

Recognizing and understanding such human behaviors helps us as writers. It enables us to create believable, realistic characters.