Why, oh why...do I hate writing synopses so much?

It's like a cat eating cheese then waiting by a mousehole with baited breath.

Or a disco horndog spraying Binanca.

Bated...baited...breath aside.

I did it. I sat down and wrote the dadgum thing. It was like pulling my liver out through my toes.

I will let it fester overnight, then edit tomorrow. Good thing I have yoga class tonight.

I just did the same thing, Rhett. This one was a pain because I have what I'd call a "blurb synopsis", it's even on the website.

But they wanted one that "shows plot resolution". So you pretty much have to tel the whole damn story. Which in this case is a complex scam that makes less sense the more deatail I add. I finally just bashed it out and sent it in.

I with these guys would ask to see the LAST three chapters instead of the first three.

Rhett,

I would recommend you read Pam McCutcheon's book - Writing the fiction synopsis - a step by step approach. It's easy to follow and once you master Mc McCutcheon's plan, synopsis writing becomes easier. I'm pasting the link.

Jenny

http://www.gryphonbooksforwriters.com/?page=shop/flypage&wt=1.00&product_id=9&CLSN_1737=12101097701737f1b4a30ce057cbdb57

Thanks, Jenny. I will check that out.

I can honestly say; I dislike synopsis writing even more than query letter writing. Maybe, I will improve with practice. Or, at least, not whine so much.

And, lin, I feel your pain, too. My plotlines are often convoluted, so it is hard to snip down into a few lines.

I always love it when someone asks me to "summarize in one elevator-pitch line".

really...(this is where I would insert a little emoticon beating itself over the head with a hammer)

I remember seeing an online service a few years ago that offered to write a
query letter and synopsis for their clients. They'd read the
manuscript, then write the query and synopsis for a large fee. A
friend was so frustrated while trying to write her own that she gave
them a try. She said the synopsis wasn't the best, but since the
service got most of it, she was able to play with it and get it to her
liking.

I'm surprised I no longer see them. With as many writers who hate
writing the dreaded synopsis, you'd think they'd have made a mint.

Holy cats...what would you charge to read an entire manuscript and write a synopsis?
I'd charge and arm and leg, no error.

Can't remember, lin, but whatever it was, my friend was willing to pay.

Hey guys, maybe we should pool together and start a service like that. Bet we'd make a fortune.

Well, on second thought, the newbies are usually too broke to pay for
something like that, and the more experienced know how to do it.

*sigh* Was a good idea for the three seconds it lasted.

Brenda,
you are right and wrong.
I've found that people who are the most in debt and/or have a strong desire, will find the money to get what they want.

You'll also find the poorest people spending money each week for that lottery ticket.

Or buy a room-size tv.

I still have my old 24" table model. At least it's in an entertainment
center so it doesn't look so dorky. But oh, do I lust after one of
those huge tvs. My neighbor bought one and I can't believe the
difference.
I feel like I'm in a drive-in. Perhaps it's a good thing I don't feel I
should buy one yet. I'd probably spend all my time in front of the
thing and I'd never get anything else done.

Rhett, I, too, hate that part of writing. I can't seem to do it, and if and when I do, it's something that took almost as long to come up with as the book itself.
Thanks, Shelagh for that link! Sorry I haven't been around in a couple of weeks, but I've been fighting with a screenplay and a producer
Pol

Brenda, even on a big screen, the bad movies and programs are not improved. I fear you would soon tire of it. The service you wrote about probably went out of business due to those needing help also needing money. A $!.00 lottery ticket gives one hope, (at least for a day or two) and is a lot cheaper than shelling out hundreds to have someone else do your work for you!

Pol, just get a bigger hammer to deal with the producer! Seriously, I hope you get him/her straightened out.

Interesting comments on writer finances.

One thing that's always blown my mind is the sheer scope and size of the industry that feeds of writers dreams. It's just a huge economy, all coming from writers paying money to people.

You don't see that in sculpture or painting, not even to that extent in music...except songWRITING.

Things like dance, music, plastic arts you see people spending money to get better: workshops, gizmos, etc. But you don't see the huge market for "how to sell your stuff" that you do with writers. The workshops, the screenplay pitch sessions, the $60 to enter contests, the book and seminar gurus who've never published anything in their life....

Writers are supposed to be smarter than the performance and plastic arts people. But I wonder...

No, they are not smarter. Empty vessels make the most noise.

Ah Lin, you have to see the mass of marketing toward people who speak for a living-it rivals what they "offer" to writers in exactly the same way. Powerful marketing, very little delivery. I still think that the best investment I made came after I published my novel--stupidity on my part, but I thought the first editor legitimately knew what she was doing. Big hint here...don't but my book until the second edition comes out.

Of course, there are certain things I will gladly pay for...plumbing, for one. But, writing my synopsis? nah...

I will drag my feet, whine, and clean the house ten times before I actually sit down and do it. But, I will DO IT.

Sad, isn't it? There always have been and always shall be bottom feeders who make a living off others. The old "I can make your dreams come true" deal....with a price tag.

I'd rather keep plugging along in my own, slow-but-true fashion.

I do the same thing, Rhett. It's probably the only time I get the house cleaned.

One thing I love about my job keeping me away from home ... is that is also keep me away from the television. Oh, we have one in the truck, but you can't pick up consistent signals while cruising along hundreds of miles of interstate at 63 mph.

I actually have come to a point where I just do NOT like watching televison (well, except for Dr Who, I LOVE my doctor. We DVR that show)

Uuuh, but this thread is about writing the dreaded synopsis. I too don't like doing it much. But I did find a little trick to help me.

It is sort of a step by step thingy. I get my manuscript and then on a notebook paper I write 2-4 of the main things that happen in each chapter. This one thing, gives me a starting point ...

Once I have a starting point, my brain WILL actually focus and I can get the chore done.

Okay, so it is sort of vague and all, but that is how we elves are.

Oh, and I don't pay people to do something that I am capable of doing meself.

Does this mean you're a truck diver mama?

Cool.

Consider writing country songs?

Oh yes. I am a truck driver mama and grandmama.

Oh my goodness no!!! I do NOT like country music.
(Except for Bon Jovi's "Who Says You Can't Go Home?" Which has been categorized 'Country' by some. I like Bon Jovi. Period)
I like New Age, Light Jazz, Alternative, and light rock from the 80s & 90s. (Yeah I like everything from Engima to Goo Goo Dolls)

I am a very non-traditional truck driver.

I do not speak CB. In fact most of the time I keep the CB off.
I do not wear flannel. I wear hoodies and peasant shirts.
I do not wear cowboy boots. I wear medieval moccasins or hiking boots.
I do not smoke.
I do not use swear words.
I do like coffee and drink it with breakfast. But otherwise my travel mug usually contains hot herbal or spice tea. (I love Green, Peppermint, and Cinnamon the most)
I avoid eating at the truck stop buffets.
I ask for tomato slices in place of hashbrowns
I ask for a salad or veggies in place of mashed potatoes.
I do not like NASCAR

To be fair, the trucking industry is changing. I've met many truckers who do not fit the "Convoy" and "Smokey & the Bandit" image.

I do not speak CB. In fact most of the time I keep the CB off.
I do not wear flannel. I wear hoodies and peasant shirts.
I do not wear cowboy boots. I wear medieval moccasins or hiking boots.
I do not smoke.
I do not use swear words.
I do like coffee and drink it with breakfast. But otherwise my travel mug usually contains hot herbal or spice tea. (I love Green, Peppermint, and Cinnamon the most)
I avoid eating at the truck stop buffets.
I ask for tomato slices in place of hashbrowns
I ask for a salad or veggies in place of mashed potatoes.
I do not like NASCAR

Boy, you're a hopeless case, huh?