Humorous questions

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?________________________________
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?________________________________
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?________________________________
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?________________________________Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?________________________________If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?They're both dogs!________________________________If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?________________________________If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?________________________________If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ________________________________Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?________________________________Why did you just sing the two songs above?________________________________WHY DO WE DRIVE ON A PARKWAY, BUT PARK ON A DRIVEWAY?

________________________________Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?________________________________Why is it that mickey mouse wears pants and no shirt, but donald duck wears a shirt and no pants? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I know, I have some strange friends and family!