QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Subject: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:33 am

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the Atmosphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:38 am

Thanks for the smile. Very Happy

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:03 am

I will second that! Laughing

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:15 am

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:46 am

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 10:14 am

Ha! I certainly agree with that, Marie!

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 10:57 am

While we are at it:

Why is do we call one mouse a mouse and more than one mouse mice ... but we say house and houses not hice?

Or one goose two geese ... but not moose and meese?

And why is it called rush hour traffic when everyone is rolling at 15 mph?

Why is it what doctors do called a practice?

We will probably get all the answers when we learn just how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop!

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:00 pm

I'm still stuck on No. 1

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:48 pm

I know about one of them. "Panties" comes from "pantaloons." Originally, there were two of them, one for each leg, held together at the waist by a drawstring. You learn a lot of useless stuff when you're writing women's fiction set in the early 19th century.

Ann

Subject: Re: QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:28 am

I'm with Dick on number one. I would imagine it has something to do with getting paid - or not.

Thanks for the laughs.

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