Anyone joyfully NOT celebrating Christmas/anything else?

Or is it just me? I try to avoid coming online this time of year because I am out of the loop, being a non-holiday person. But I came back today, because I hope that someone out there besides me isn't decorating, isn't gift-buying, isn't making cookies, isn't visiting family. That way I can talk to them and the topic not even come up.

I just want to shut down. I haven't written anything in days. I'm so tired of applying for writing jobs only for no one to get back with me. I'm a writer. Whether the world wants me to have an opportunity to be paid to be one, I no longer CARE, because guess what? I'm still a writer whether I get paid to be one or not. Let someone else get the recognition and be taken seriously. I'm tired of being overlooked, ignored. If it wasn't for self-publishing, I wouldn't be published.

I'm not a scrooge by the way. I have the spirit for giving. I love deeply. I just don't have anyone to celebrate anything with, no job to buy anything, and no hope of ever being accepted.

Bravo!!!

Having the courage to be real during this season is not an easy task. I completely hear where you are coming from, Penny.

You are probably aware, since you are able to be so honest, that holiday stress leads to more depressions, break-downs, and even suicides than any time of the year.

It's in the same category, I think, as society often refusing to accept the reality of parental abuse. It's just a place where we are not supposed to go. We are supposed to pretend that everything is copacetic.

There is so much pressure, and nearly always a post-holiday let-down, even among the most stalwart supporters When the season is over, a lot of people are blue because it just didn't live up to expectations.

We look at the season through those rose-colored glasses. As yet another ends in disappointment, we get brought back to a harsh reality.

Having said that, my advice is to just let go, stay in the "now" moment, and you just might find bits of joy in appreciating the present - free of all that unhappy past baggage.

First step, take off the glasses and acknowledge those past disappointments instead of trying to repress them.

Today is today. Try to find peace in that.


(from that Facebook place)
Happy Holidays,

Annie

Penny, What happened? I thought you were asking how to decorate a small place not very long ago.

Hope things get better for you. It is always darkest just before dawn.

Oh, I just had a big dose of reality thats all. I lost my job, actively looking for more work every day since mid-November. I need income. The day I walked into the dollar store thinking I would be able to get some cheap stuff for decorations I couldn't because we had to do things like pay bills, get groceries. Since that day things have just gotten worse.

I just interviewed a couple for the newspaper who found their desperate circumstances were improved by volunteering at a soup kitchen. They were well fed, met wonderful, grateful people and didn't have to be cheerful for no reason, just kept passing out the food.

They said volunteering touched their desperate hearts and helped them heal. They had been through so much hardship and saw no hope until they found it in the eyes of the chidren and families and carried it with them.

I volunteered as a teacher once for six months and I must say, I had a full heart. I was very alone at the time, and those children kept my mind occupied and my heart full.

Expectations that we are joyful this time of year is unrealistic. However, some say fake it until you make it. I did buy a $1 wind up train on a plastic track and had fund by myself winding it and wathcing it run around that green and red track. Sometimes the simple things make a big difference.

I also find putting myself into a natural environment away from expectations helps me breath and feel whatever spiritual meaning is available to me.

Writing; keeping a daily diary is a good way to know things always improve .... eventually. I saw on my facebook page where a person is everyday typing a day of their 30 day gratitude journal. I started a gratitude blog - but must confess, fell down on the consistency.

Then, last resort. There are foods that are conducive to a healthy body and also healthy brain for a happier countenance. If the brain is a little off key, seeing a physician and/or a counselor for a little advice and even a touch of medication may help get through a difficult time.

I have bad asthma as a result of working six years in a horridly filthy working environment that damaged my lungs. I sometimes resent it. Today I was gurgling badly. I went to the dr. and had a steroid shot in the bum. At first it hurt - but boy do I feel good for the moment. Breathing gives oxygen to my brain and makes it happier and healthier so I have more energy.

I'm listing all my thoughts because you had the courage to reach out to some very special people who post here and actually care about each other after years of posting here - we may not have anything to offer you - but we will sure try.

Feel free to chuck it all or grab whatever piece might work for you. I'm very much in favor of writing a journal - two journals - one as a diary and one as a gratitude journal. I have heard great results from both.

Hey, I'm not overflowing with joy. I do like winding that little red and green train, though, and it makes me smile. Sometimes Christmas carols make me cry - so I don't always wind the snow globes. You have plenty of company; but we do want to find the vignettes of joy because it's much more fun.

I want to emphasize "the vignettes of joy." That's the best I've been able to do most of my life. I'm a pretty serious, introspective person and definitely not a Polyanna personality. However, I have had wonderful vignettes of joy that I cherish, remember and live for.

Vignettes of joy. Yes, they are wonderful. Enjoy them for all their wonders.

Good ideas, DK.



Penny, You take care. I admire your straight forward approach. You would

be an ideal counseling patient as you don't beat around the bush.

Best to you.

12/7/2012

Since I have a few less relatives, I saw in the mall here

a white Christmas Tree, it blongs to The Food Angels, they

deliver food to seniors who are ill, the names on the tree

are the people who they deliver to, I picked twelve names

to buy simple gifts that are requested, stamps, a throw, Christmas

ornaments, etc. It made me feel good to know I helped these

people who are ill knowing I might have brought a little joy into

their lives.............

Cheers..Joe...

Joe, that reminds me of an article I wrote in swspotlight.com/author/dk_christi about Hugs for Kids. This woman buys ends of fleece at the end of the year on sale and cuts them in 1 1/2 yards and cuts slits around the sides. She ties knots in the slits. At Valentines she delivers them to nursing homes for lap blankets. One lady could not believe she was getting something for nothing and kept asking how much she needed to pay.

The lady's blankets grew in number until now she makes them with church groups and friends and they collect matching stuffed animals and give the sets to children that are in safety homes, etc. They give them out before the holidays - since the holidays are stressful for young children in chaos too.

It's also interesting that the smallest gifts really have the most meaning, those made of simple things and filled with love.

Other ladies in my church knit simple shawls with knit and perl on big needles to give to people undergoing grief. They knit them with love.

I remember when I was unemployed and feeling useless in the snow country, I started knitting knit and perl long scarves of multi-colored yarn from the sale rack - the really cheap stuff - and they made me feel like I accomplished something and also helped to keep me warm.

This whole thing of getting our work out there, when we don't have connections, can be discouraging.

I posted a little meditation video in the information thread - here.

Mark David Gerson is an independent author who has been successful. One of his books, The Voice of the Muse, says something very much like you said when you wrote:

Quote :

I'm a writer. Whether the world wants me to have an opportunity to be paid to be one, I no longer CARE, because guess what? I'm still a writer whether I get paid to be one or not

Gerson reminds us that whatever we write, whether published or not, goes out into the universe and has a purpose.

Try the video, if you haven't yet.

You may have noticed that I'm a huge Joseph Campbell fan. I wrote a blog on my website called "Light out of Darkness" that got started while I was reading this passage from one of his works: "One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The blackest moment is the moment when the message of transformation is going to come."

I've been through my own "dark nights of the soul," Penny. I promise you, things are going to get better.

Annie

12/7/2012

Penny...



Pray to your guardian angel, he or she will help you,

I always believed in guardian angels. Matter of fact a

friend gave me a picture of our lady of grace ( Virgin Mary)

she's sealed in acrylic on my key ring, I alway ask her for

her help, it never fails...

Cheers.Joe......

Wysten Hugh Auden wrote The Christmas Story - a very dark and long poem that talks about the abyss - and coming out of it. His descriptions are amazing.

Wysten Hugh Auden wrote The Christmas Story - a very dark and long poem that talks about the abyss - and coming out of it. His descriptions are amazing.

I read and re-read the posts this morning made by Penny and Victor and the response comments. They prompted thoughts about the struggle faced by many past and present. It is easy to quit. Struggle makes us strong. We discover what we’re capable of when faced with survival. I live in an area where many people struggled for survival due to war. Those who survived the bombings faced other hardships. Parents past and present do what is necessary to care for their family. Nothing, absolutely nothing is too menial to do when it comes to survival. I had a taste of that during the Lebanese Civil War. Protecting family was the most important thing. Perhaps we are much like animals who protect their young and will fight/kill to protect them.
In Don Stephens books “Halo” he illustrates how much the human body can endure. Somehow, there is a reserve within us - a superhuman strength that surfaces when needed.

As parents, we want to help our children. Often we hurt rather than help by doing too much. We don’t want our kids to struggle as we did and make it too easy for them and in so doing, we harm them. Throwing money at a problem is not the best solution. It is much like the Chinese Proverb: “"If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime."

I like reading stories about struggle and survival. It is inspiring. Determination and persistence are key factors. Looking for the “Easy Way” is most often a waste of time. Sometimes we must “burn our bridges” in order to have the needed motivation to survive/succeed. When there is an easy way out it can be the weakness that leads to failure.

Too often we take things for granted. We fail to recognize those who fought and struggled to give us the way of life that we enjoy today. Those who served and experienced hardship in war and survived, have much to teach us. Many didn’t survive and we try to acknowledge them on Memorial Days.

Our struggles today are miniscule in comparison to the struggles of our ancestors. We have a safety net that they didn’t have. We can thank them for fighting for human/civil rights.

Persistence and determination is required. Hardship is akin to strengthening the muscle. Resistance makes it strong. Recognizing that there is no easy way, we have taken a big step in creating a better way of life. What we give out comes back. Helping one another is helping ourselves.

The future is now.
Just my thoughts.

Many immigrant families have known unbearable hardships. The stories the Mexican women who worked for me told about their childhood as migrant workers were horrid. Yet, when I knew them they had risen above, gained an education and had their own families with better circumstances.

Penny, Hope you are still here. We need you.