How do you feel about your age?

Was sitting with my wife on the Terrace yesterday and she said, “I can’t believe I’ve been on this earth for 74 years.”
“What made you say that?”
“I don’t feel 74.”
I replied, “If you don’t feel it, that’s good. What brought that up?”
She said, “When I look at myself I realize that I am getting old, but I just don’t feel as old as I look.”
I replied, “In my eyes I still see the young girl I married.” That brought a smile to her face, however she shook her head and said, “I know you eyesight is not what it was, but you’re not blind.”

8/27/2012

Abe..

That was beautiful what you told your wife, that's love.

me, soon I'll be the big 64 ! I have had older people tell me that

I'm baby , I never thought it would come that fast! I have had

people tell me I look much younger . When I'm driving and I listen

to the old rock N roll 1950's I feel like Im 18 !

Cheers....Joe..

You're not blind, Abe -- just in love.

I don't recognize the stranger in the mirror every morning when I shave. My "internal self" has not changed very much since my early 30s, and that is how I feel, though saddled with an aging body in my fifties that generally sags and feels older than its true age. I can recall the 15-year-old-me with a smile and some embarrassment as if he were still very much within as well. Even the nine-year-old struggling to learn English is still there. I think our internal self-image reflects the soul, while the external one is just the ephemeral clay degrading daily. The sacred alongside the profane.

I look at my external self with some sadness, and also some humor. I find the reflection regrettable, but believe it is no more important than a freshly pressed, clean shirt that slowly wrinkles and becomes visibly the worse for wear as we approach the end of the day. But it will eventually be cast off into the hamper and all will be well with the world.

Love lets you see your wife as she truly is, always and forever. My wife gets very annoyed when I tell her how beautiful she is as she does not quite see that truth reflected in the mirror any longer as it was when we first fell in love more than 30 years ago, alas. But it is there. As my last dedication to her says, once again, "always and forever."

I wake up every morning and I'm shaving my father.

Everyone tells me I am not 65--I feel like 165, but everyday above ground is a day to be thankful for.

Dave snapped me into reality years ago when I said, "I should die young so I'd look good in my coffin."

"It's too late for that now." He shot back--I am still laughing.

I'm going to die when I get old and not a day sooner.

Shelagh,

Great plan!

Thanks to all of you. It certainly gives a perspective on how people feel about aging.
I think that when my time is up there will be nothing I can do to prevent it. Dying is part of life.
I just wonder if I will have a choice as to what I will be in my second life. For all I know, I am living my second or even third life already.

It's a weird thing, this pushing seventy. I figure I've only been doing it for, oh, about twenty-two days. My dad died at sixty-eight; my older brother at seventy. My mom lived to be seventy-eight, but from seventy on wasn't altogether there. On the other hand, when I got the call back in 1969 that my dad's father had died - at ninety-three, I was shocked. I had been with him a few weeks earlier. I was sitting beside him when I reached for my pack of cigarettes (take it easy, please - I had my last in 1999). My grandfather pulled out a lighter and helped me to light it, then reached back into his pocket, pulled out a pack of Camels, lit one for himself, turned to me and said, with a crinkly twinkle in his eye, "Better watch them things. People say you won't live very long if you don't."

It has been a long time since I recognized the face in the mirror. Inside my head I still look like the image of Daniel's Daughter I use in my avatar. But I have never been very concerned about how I looked. I learned at an early age that appearance had very little connection to who a person was inside, and that it was the inside that counted.

What is bugging me these days is more about strength and stamina and chronic little pains. I type as much as I can every day, even though it hurts. My back, my knees, and my elbows sometimes shout at me to desist any more movement. I need more sleep at night and my eyes refuse to adjust to bifocals, so I often keep my glasses on top of my head and then forget that's where they are, because the memory will occasionally fail as well.

A couple of years ago - I think it was when my big brother died - I realized with a bit of a shock that eventually everybody dies, and that I am a part of that everybody.

I figure that every day is a gift, and focus on being grateful that I am still here, with a purpose to fulfill, and try to make sure that I fulfill a little bit more of it each day.


Edit: still a lot of cross-posting going on - In my next life I want to be one of Betty's animals.

Just Annie

There are days when I feel thirty and days when I feel ninety nine!

The last year has defiantly made me aware of my mortality.

On the days when I reflect back on all the things I've seen over the years it sometimes make me feel a lot older. The Iceman delivering blocks of ice for the Icebox. The wood burning cook stove my Mother cooked on. The potbelly coal burning stove the only source of heat for the house. The Saturday night bath in a #3 washtub next to that stove. The search lights in the sky during the War. Black and white movies. Our first black and white TV with four channels. Walking across the tarmac to board a huge prop driven airliner to leave for the seminary when I was fourteen. My first military parachute jump out of the back of a C119 flying boxcar (the plane Albert Einstein said couldn't fly). My first exposure to a computer (I had to hard wire the programs). A computer that filled a huge room that didn't have the power of my current cell phone. The first time I saw my bride and knew I loved her (45 years ago).
The day she said yes!

As the saying goes..."If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!"

Alice, I agree...everyday on top of the dirt is a good day!

Don, your remarks hit home. Our experience over the years span many changes in technology that affect how we live today. It is remarkable. We saw the First Man on the Moon. We also witnessed the loss of life of those who didn't make it into orbit. We lived through war(s) and understand hardship. To be alive today is special. Thanks for triggering the memories.

I truly had no concept of feeling "older" until my son had a medical issue that changed my life and made me the recipient of his cruel remarks about my life, my career and my present lifestyle. His steady stream of demeaning language and self hate has pointed out every single flaw that could ever be imagined, true or false, as some way of purging his own pain that has made him into an angry, bitter and blaming person. While I struggle to recover from several years of the verbal abuse, I see the pain in my eyes and the waves of depression that I have caught from his own downward spiral as I fought to help him and was sucked in instead. His microscope brought on my own feelings of failure for a life that is insignificant to the most important person in my life, and my feeling of insignificance and failure is a feeling of age and uselessness.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that aging is all a matter of the mind and a reflection of how we think and how we overcome our challenges and adversities, whether they are ill health or simply another year on our body. When I feel I am losing the battles , I see and feel the worst. When I enjoy success in mind, heart and relationships, I feel the surging joy of a youthful person.

My places that reinforce the younger woman are walks on the beach, swimming in the Gulf, wandering on the Corkscrew Swamp boardwalk and riding my bike. It seems that forays into the wonders of nature, far from mirrors, and enjoying the mysteries there help the vitality of youthful thoughts and feelings.

Meeting interesting people who are full of vitality at any age and enjoying the company of good friends and relatives are also inspiring. Recently, two cousins of similar age spent time with me and the joy of our fun days and evenings together were ageless and bonding.

The woman who gives the inspirational reading in a dramatic and strong voice at our church is nearly 100 years of age, arriving at church elegantly attired and full of joy and vitality. She is a wonderful example that aging can be graceful and joyful as she has overcome her own issues.

My stepmother found the love of her life in her 90's. She had several eye operations that had made her eyes small and dark, little dots in her forehead Her love would tell me when I walked in the door, "Doesn't she have the most beautiful face, especially her eyes!" I think he saw the love in her eyes that shown for him and his praise was genuine. Love is certainly a youth potion, and finding and sharing the loving moments in life make aging less damning and more wonderful.

Meaningful activity also makes the aging process easier. Florida is a haven for vital, aging people who are engaged in philanthropy and occupations they didn't have time for in their youth. I remember when the paper carried the pictures of the men in their 90's who had won the master's swimming championships and the bowling championship. It's only when we spend too much time in front of the mirror or in reflection on how our lives have changed in negative ways that aging is felt.

I remember turning 40 and heading out to sea in a 70 foot sailboat with my family, completely changing our lives. I felt old and scared; it was a last ditch effort to take risks, a sign of youth, while benefiting my family. I was overweight at the time and struggled with the activity sailing required. As the weight slipped away, I felt younger by the day as the challenges of activity, feeding the family, navigation, other cultures and staying alive made any thoughts of "middle age" wasted energy.

So, though my daily struggle with an ill son is draining to my soul and my energy, I know it is in my mind and worth the fight to feel my youth. Many adults struggle as caretakers to find additional meaning in their lives and I admire their strength. It is challenging to remain hopeful - and hope is another youth potion - when those you love with so much of your soul are in pain and beyond control.

In summary, I feel my age on some days and full of youth and hope on others. My goal is to increase the hopeful and youthful ones and diminish the aging and hopeless ones. Life is a fragile gift, every single moment, and it is my responsibility to enjoy that gift and not diminish it in spite of challenges and disappointments. Feelings of aging are in the mind; it is how a person reacts to life that provides the mental framework of youth.

Meaningful post, DK. Thanks.

I need to add that I have been quite pleased to have a face that has borne the years well in terms of wrinkles. That is, until I was in a hotel with one of those fancy, light surrounded, magnifying mirrors. I took one look at the old lady in that mirror and swore to never use such a looking glass again. And I have not. I remain in that mystical imagination that my face is the one that looks back at me from the tinted rear view mirror in the car and the mirror with the muted energy saving lights at home.

My sister in law has the perfect correction for a body that has gained weight through the middle. She has a new, stainless steel refrigerator that does an instant airbrush when you stand in front of it. A slightly overweight figure is suddenly transformed into a shapely and slender one. She looks at herself in that door whenever she needs a boost. When I am in Michigan, I treat myself to a an airbrush look also. Her slimming door is also a reminder to keep the refrigerator door shut :-)

Removing your glasses before looking also helps. I don't have the wrinkles either, but the fuzziness takes inches off the waistline.

Annie

I have noticed my first grey hair shortly after I have turned thirty. It was almost epic, because with the grey came the realization, "OMG I can age." Which, until that point, I thought that I was invincible, untouchable and (a pirate) arrghhhh.
It took me a couple of years to get over the shock of aging and finally accepting that there is not a darn thing that I can do about it anyway.
Now, in my mid- fourties, every extra pound on my hips is accountedfor, I am totally in touch with my inner "small" geaser and if I do not feel like getting some color slapped on my grey hair, well, than I am just fine with that, too.
Last week, I met a 75 year old lady. She was visiting a friend of mine, and had driven all the way down from Kansas to do just that. We all went out, had a great time and said lady pretty much stayed on the dance floor half of the night. I was amazed and asked her what her secret was. Her answer was, "We all have to go into the box and I am planning on going there with a bang."
I am not sure if I will be that "hip" at 75, but I am damn sure am going to try.
In that sense; do not dwell on your age, take each day as it comes and have a great time doing it. Besides, why cry and ponder about something that you cannot change anyway?

Katja,
I think you have a good handle on life. Enjoy it.

I am the big 50 now and i don't mean Hawaii , i seem to need glassess more and more these days and the most frightening thing is that when i walk past a mirror i think i saw my father !!!!!, HELP

In my 40's I made lots of vows about old age; then the well laid plans went awry and my promises to myself take a daily regroup to start again.

Hiya Paul,

may I suggest to walk past the mirror without the glasses on..lol... jk.

More and more I find that I am saying things that my mom would say and I have to admit that I am favoring her more and more when I am looking into my mirror.

I came to the conclusion (a few years back) that I can either fight it or embrace it. Since fighting seemed futile, embracing it was the only logical option. It made life a lot easier, too.

Huggles,
Katja

Young men have learned to look at the girls mother to get a glimpse of what the girl will look like in old age. It is more often correct than not.

katjab... that was funny

Abe .. you certainly know how to cheer me up the thought of my wife turning into my mother in law !!!!!! pass me the Valium !!!!

Paul, sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Sorry if I popped your bubble.

OMG, Don. You have just related everything that "made me, me."

Bravo.

Annie