rainbow689
Four Star Member
Number of posts : 403
Registration date : 2008-04-15
Age : 73
Location : Laredo TX
 | | Subject: A Tad Of Light Relief Sun May 04, 2008 4:37 pm | |
| btw anyone know how to get the actual image in the message? Answering machine message on a Mental Health Hotline…
‘Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline…’
‘If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won’t be crazy forever.
If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up
and my own personal voicemail:
Thank you for caring enough to call. I'm making some changes in my life. If I don't call you back...YOU'RE one of the changes! Have a great day!
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zadaconnaway
Five Star Member
Number of posts : 4017
Registration date : 2008-01-16
Age : 76
Location : Washington, USA
| | Subject: Re: A Tad Of Light Relief Mon May 05, 2008 6:23 am | |
| Hey there, Rainbow!
Your interview link needs editing, the [i] onward needs to be removed in order to work, I think.
What happens if one has several of the above afflictions? |
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rainbow689
Four Star Member
Number of posts : 403
Registration date : 2008-04-15
Age : 73
Location : Laredo TX
| | Subject: Re: A Tad Of Light Relief Mon May 05, 2008 6:34 am | |
| - zadaconnaway wrote:
- Hey there, Rainbow!
Your interview link needs editing, the [i] onward needs to be removed in order to work, I think.
What happens if one has several of the above afflictions? Hey Zada many thanks, it's a point worth noting if you want to Italicise the font on the signature think I better call you 'Hawkeye!'  |
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