When I Grow UP

If things remained constant, we would grow up quickly. Keeping pace with change is a process of growing, and since change is unending, we should never grow up.

Being grown up to me means being old. It’s the end of the line. There’s nothing wrong about growing old, but being old is not desirable. In Lancaster, Pennsylvania one can buy a sign from the Amish that reads,
“Too soon old and too late smart.” Being old without the smarts that go with it is not desirable. Growing older and wiser synchronously is ideal.

I’m still growing up. When I was young I envisioned being a maverick of industry and someday writing a book. I accomplished both but not in the manner imagined. Each stage of growth required adjustment. The book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill was my guidebook. I was convinced that I could do anything with the right attitude, having a goal, and persisting until it was accomplished. As an entrepreneur I was not constrained by corporate policy or restrictions. My motto: “Go as far as I you can see, and when you get there, you can see farther.” Concentrating on all the things that can go wrong before proceeding was not in my psyche. How would I know if it didn’t work unless I tried it? How would I know what was on the other side of the mountain until I reached the mountaintop?

In some respects it was foolhardy. On the other hand, I didn’t know I couldn’t, therefore I did. I grew up learning from experience. Much of what I did could not be found in a book. No two people are alike. What works for one may not work for another. I had to find my own way and it was not easy. With lots of risk I made my fortune and then lost it. I thought I had grown up at this point. Why would I want to place myself at risk again? Might just as well quit and take my lumps. I knew what could go wrong, and if it happened once, it could happen again. All that hard work down the drain with nothing to show for it. I was miserable. I had a wife and three children and was without a job. My career was dead. Then I woke up and took stock of myself. My wealth was not a bank account, but internal. If I could do it once I could do it again and be a bit wiser the second time around. However the second time around comes with new conditions. Circumstances and opportunities are not the same. Relying on doing things the same way as in the past no longer worked. Times have changed. New technology, new people to deal with. The energy level is no longer at its peak. Family demands are greater, however doing nothing brings nothing so I started where I happened to be and opportunities developed.

I’m reminded of the man who at age 60 said, “I’ve always wanted to be a Doctor, but that takes seven years and I’d be 67.” His friend replied, “How old will you be in seven years if you don’t become a Doctor?”

In January I’ll be 71 and I still haven’t grown up nor do I want to.

If I've learned one thing, it's that what actually happens is often better than what I planned to happen. Not always, but then maybe I didn't know my own mind in those instances. Age isn't what I expected: it's better, younger than I thought with plenty of room for growing.

Nice post, Abe.

Malcolm

Abe,

I'm with you...I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know if I'd have known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!

Good post Abe. I decided we stay around until we grow up, until we do what we need to do with our grown up selves.

Carol

My favorite Carly Simon song, from Hotcakes, my favorite album, from 1974 (the good ole' days):

http://www.carlysimon.com/music/Lyrics/Grownup.html

"See, I've just gotten older, I've just gotten taller, but the little ones, they call me a grownup."

Ann

Wow Abe!

We must have a psychic connection. I wrote a blog on the same subject a day after you posted this!!

It's at my Redroom page.

Since I am a guest I can't post links ... but I am going to see if I can do something to make this work:

http: // www. redroom.com/blog/joelle-martin/growing-has-nothing-do-age

I read your redroom post. Well done and you got a good responses.