Published Authors

A place for budding and experienced authors to share ideas about publishing and marketing books
HomeHome  GalleryGallery  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  Featured MembersFeatured Members  ArticlesArticles  

Share | 

 How does your garden grow?

Go down 
Four Star Member
Four Star Member

Number of posts : 266
Registration date : 2008-01-25
Age : 77
Location : Nottingham

PostSubject: How does your garden grow?   Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:38 am

A young lady was working in her first allotment but things were not going well, her potato plants were a bit tall and spindly.

An oldtimer walked by on the way to his plot and the young lady asked him for some advice on the spindly plants.

He replied, "Well, I would give them some more good topsoil, bank it up about 9" or so and then give the plants a thorough soaking with a watering can. Do it gently or you'll wash off the topsoil".

She thanked him, took his advice, and the potato plants recovered nicely.

On another day, she was looking ruefully at her outdoor tomatoes and the same man wandered over for a chat.

"Look at them", she complained, "Lovely big tomatoes but they haven't gone red".

The oldtimer smiled a wicked smile and said, "My wife, bless her, at the same age as you, had exactly the same problem with her first tomato plants. She reddened them up by coming down to her tomatoes first thing in the morning, dressed only in her boots and dressing gown".

The young lady interrupted, "You old rogue, you are going to say that she opened her dressing gown in front of the tomatoes and they reddened up in front of her!"

The oldtimer protested, "It worked for her, m'dear. And what harm can it do first thing in the morning?"

They both laughed and there it ended.

So, a few days later the young lady was still pondering her green tomatoes and she suddely burst out, "I'll try it, I'll try it!"

The next morning her alarm buzzed at 5.30 am and she quickly slipped on her dressing gown.

Down the road she went, straight to the tomatoes, where she flung open her dressing gown and smiled broadly at them.

She did this for a couple of days and a quite remarkable thing happened.

As she was laughing, the old man, who lived nearby, heard her and threw open his window.

"Has it worked m'dear? Has it worked?", he called.

"Has it worked, you daft b*gger?", she shouted, "The tomatoes are as green as ever!"

"Well", he said, mystified, "What are you laughing at, girl!?"

"Look at the size of my cucumbers!"
Back to top Go down
Betty Fasig
Five Star Member
Five Star Member

Number of posts : 4331
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 75
Location : Duette, Florida

PostSubject: Re: How does your garden grow?   Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:11 pm

Dear Luigie,
I grow tomatoes and cucumbers at this time every year. I will send my David out to the tomatoes to do what you suggested. I am sure they will ripen right up. I will deal with the cucumbers. That should startle them some.

Back to top Go down
How does your garden grow?
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Published Authors :: General :: Comedy and Games-
Jump to: