Aging

Abe you're soooo right about mind and body when it comes to aging, but we're alive, with people we love and that love us...LIFE IS GOOD!

Last October I died on the operating table and they brought me back! All my previous aches and pains from aging, all of a sudden seemed insignificant. Every morning when I wake up and am still on top of the dirt, I hug my bride and thank my maker for another glorious day!

The surgeon that did my spine says everything should be 100% by July, if it is, he says I can play golf again and in May of 2013, on my 75th birthday, I'm going to make my fourteen hundred and first solo free-fall.

LIFE IS GOOD!

NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN MY LIFE, SOME JUST TURN OUT BETTER THAN OTHERS.

Don.

Good, Excellent!-- So glad they got you back with the living.
Is skydiving good for the spine?

E. Don Harpe wrote:

The hell with all that, I want to beat somebody.

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

Ann

Just don't shoot anyone!

I sure missed something in this thread! I remember after a full day of losing to my friend's grandchildren at every game imaginable, the youngest whispered to me, "Auntie Di, if there is a game you can win, we'll play it with you." He was sincerely trying to do a good thing - he was serious!

Actually, Ann, it is no surprise, and that's they way I want it. I've never wanted anyone to think I was happy if I didn't win the game. I'm a really bad loser. Always have been, and I'm not at all ashamed to admit it.

Some people are content to live with the new way of looking at things. That way says that everyone is a winner, and that just by showing up you should get a medal. That what is really important is that you feel good about yourself.

That's really a sad way to look at things. Everyone is not a winner, everyone doesn't make the team, and the fact is that there are some things that everyone shouldn't feel good about themselves over.

I've never known many people who had that kind of defeatest attitude that were really satisfied with life. Most will say they are, but it must be hard to spend your entire life watching someone else get their hand raised, and you getting your little trophy because you showed up.

Thanks, but I'll pass. I don't always win, but I've never gotten beat when the other guy didn't know he was in a game. And I've never, not one time in my life, been happy when someone else won the game. I don't think you do yourself any favors by saying you don't care if you win or not, or when you teach your children that it's ok to end up in second place. That's the new age way of saying that if you lose, it's fine. No, it's not. If you lose, you're a loser, and it doesn't matter what you tell yourself or your kids, when the dust settles, you're still a loser.

BTW, the idea of winning originated back in the days when the loser actually got killed. If you were going to get a sword run through your chest if you lost, then very few would be saying it's ok to lose. I promise you that if the stakes were still that high, nobody would be telling their children that it's ok to finish in second place.

We played a domino game today - I won the last hand. It felt good!

DK,

I many times wonder what is the age of an old timer, I am 67 and something find me be the same as i was 55 yeas ago, no more wise, no more an adult or growing up or how can i say, having nothing but vision and getting nowhere, but one thing, I have to say- what the age have gave to me - and it is this: no more imagination to be or become rich man, that sort of idea I have left behind, and it not bother me be as poor one among other poor ones. That is the goal, which this age have got.And tha allright, it well suit to me.
Cheerio

Don,
I understand what you’re saying. We’re all different. What appeals or is important to one is not always true for another. When I was younger, winning was everything, especially in sports competition and later in sales. Winning the sale meant more earnings, recognition and often promotion. The danger with all this can cause corruption or dishonesty. The old cliché, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game” is meaningful. It doesn’t matter whether you’re playing a game of cards or golf. There is temptation to cheat. Moving the ball for a better lie, when no one is looking, is cheating. You may wind up winning, but you know in your heart you didn’t win honestly.
Vince Lombardi has been quoted often with his statement, “Winning isn’t everything – it’s the only thing.” That was often used in sales training programs. With years of experience and observations, I think there is more to playing the game than winning. Winning at all costs can cause lasting resentment. Whether you win or lose according to the rules of the game is significant when you know you gave your best. Self-improvement is winning. Learning from mistakes is winning. If we didn’t lose at times we wouldn’t know the thrill of winning – honestly.

In High School, sports changed dramatically. Participation in sports was a learning experience. When winning became all-important, non-participation by the less skilled stymied learning. Some kids are slow learners, not just in academic subjects, but also with physical challenges. Letting the kids have a chance at playing, especially when they attend all practices, is important to the kids and the parents.

We can see how the importance of winning is affecting politics. Lying and deceit become an accepted norm.

Abe, I have to disagree, at least partially, with what you've said. I've never known a true winner who would even think of cheating. A cheater isn't a winner, he or she is just a liar and a thief.

I could lie about my golf score, put down a 5 when I had a 7 or an 8, and the guys I'm playing with might never know. But here's the thing. I'd know, and even if I did lie and the others believed me, I'd know I had a 7 or 8, and the 5 I wrote down wouldn't mean a thing.

No, winners don't cheat, not in sports, not in life. If you cheat, you may become rich, you may become famous, and it may not bother you to know you got all that by lying. But you're not a winner. And if you take the game to another playing field, a more level one where someone else is keeping score, the whole world will know you never really won anything, you just cheated and lied.

I've said that I've lost games, more than I've won, actually, because that's the way games are. But win or lose, in sports or in life, you'll always know that I wrote down the actual score. If you beat me, you'll know it's because on that particular day, in that particular game, you were better. And I can gurantee you that you'll feel a hell of a lot better about yourself when you understand that I gave it all I had and you still won.

We don't get too old to want to stop winning. If you say you don't want to win, I always think you're either lying, or you're a quitter, or you know you can't win and you've just accepted it. That doesn't work for me, and I hope I never grow out of it.

alice wrote:

Don.

Is skydiving good for the spine?

Alice, With these new chutes the opening shock is next to nothing. Also my spine is all steel reinforced from the waist down. Even at that, I'll only do it if the Doctor okays it. Not going to take any chances, too many other things I can do for fun.

Don, I re-read what I wrote and I can't see where we differ. I think it is human nature to want to win, however winning at all costs is where I draw the line. Sometimes it is important to lose intentionally, especially when playing with kids. If they are always defeated, they may give up trying. I think allowing others to win on occasion is a win-win.
In any case, I respect your opinion and beliefs.

E Don, Abe,

I think you're both right!!!

There are a whole lot of people that believe winning at all costs is okay. Look at of all the athletes that take performance enhancing drugs in order to "Win", then think they should be in the Hall of Fame. How many salespeople lie about the competitor's product or misrepresent their own in order to win a deal. Have you ever heard of a politician lying in order to "Win"? How about the scandal with the Saints right now...in case we can't beat them, let's take them out of the game.

When I compete I want to win, but not at the cost of my integrity or self respect. If I take on a competition and can't win as often as I loose, I usually move on to something else.

My Dad told me growing up, "You can only fail if you don't try. If you've done the best you could, you might not have won, but you didn't fail."

When I win a competition in sports or my chosen profession, I want to know it was because I was better at that given time than my opponent, not that I was able to fudge the score, misrepresent the product or cheat in any way.

Of course, I still want to win every time I compete!

You guys are a credit to the forum. I am proud to be in your company today when so much is being said politically about similar subjects with less lofty ideals.

Some people have a lower tolerance for defeat and a weaker ability to persevere in the face of constant defeat. It's not a measure of worth, these differences, just a measure of individual paths in this life that vary.

I've often analyzed the times that I persevere against great odds - and generally they were in the service of a higher good; the times I gave up were those in which I was singularly the recipient of the consequences.

Many times another person would have said I should have fought harder, tried once more, or whatever. Yet, we are co-creators of the world in which we live and our choices accumulate to rest in who we are in this moment. Today is a good day, thus the accumulation is what it should be.

DJ, DK, your comments placed our thoughts in perspective. I think as we age our thinking/views on life adjust. The accumulation of life's experience provide us with valuable insights. Those insights are difficult to explain and to share them is risky. Our challenge is not with how we measure up with others, but with ourselves.