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 Gentle Thoughts

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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

Number of posts : 4017
Registration date : 2008-01-16
Age : 71
Location : Washington, USA

Gentle Thoughts Empty
PostSubject: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 8:05 am

Gentle Thoughts for Today--

Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.


When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.


There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt
.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'


Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
.
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Jim Woods
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Jim Woods

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Registration date : 2008-06-07

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 8:49 am

Zada, thanks. That makes this day worthwhile.

Jim Woods
www.ultrasw.com/jwoods
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Malcolm
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Malcolm

Number of posts : 1504
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Location : Georgia

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 9:13 am

Well, now I'm going to want some gentle thoughts like these to help me start out every day.

Thanks,

Malcolm
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pol mcshane
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pol mcshane

Number of posts : 112
Registration date : 2008-02-04
Location : Texas

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PostSubject: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 11:49 am

Those are great, Zada. They remind me of a funny card I read a while back that went something like this:
"I ran into an old friend from back in my highschool days. She looked just as pretty as she did back in school . . . so I ran into her again!"
lol!
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

Number of posts : 4017
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Age : 71
Location : Washington, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 11:56 am

Pol, I like that, and can definitely think of some I would love to run into. (Or is that run down, or perhaps over?) Gentle Thoughts 921805 Gentle Thoughts 866227 I think it is criminal that so many go through life and stay young looking. At least I've earned my mature appearance! Wink


Last edited by zadaconnaway on Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:05 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : add emoticons)
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Pam
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Pam

Number of posts : 1790
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Age : 53
Location : Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 6:30 pm

I'm voting for Zada's "Thought for the day" column too! Those were great!
flower
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

Number of posts : 4017
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Age : 71
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySun Jun 29, 2008 6:38 pm

A friend sent me those in an e mail and I thought it would be good to add a little humor to the board. They seemed appropriate for most of us slightly older folks.

Wink
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JoElle
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JoElle

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyFri Jul 04, 2008 5:24 pm

I NEVER wish to go back to the days of high school. I do not miss them.

I LOVE where I am now. I love my age.

My son is grown into a fine young man. He's given me two adorable grandsons.

My husband and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary two days ago.

This is a great time for me.

Middle age is great.

Now to have my crisis. I think I'll get a motorcycle and a tattoo.
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyFri Jul 04, 2008 10:33 pm

They were great Zada.

However, of birds of a feather flocking together.
They fly to my neighbor's chicken house and eat the chicken's food, and then they flock to my house to relieve themselves.

Any suggestions? (Be kind)
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

Number of posts : 12609
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Location : UK

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 1:19 am

No shit?

Awesome man.

_________________
Gentle Thoughts 41ZdcL0lV7L._SL125_ Gentle Thoughts 41C9GeFDNWL._SL125_ Gentle Thoughts 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SL125_ Gentle Thoughts 51eDGllZXhL._SL125_ Gentle Thoughts 41y7VHKoszL._SL125_ Gentle Thoughts 51Zs4N4T4eL._SL125_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins 2017
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 1:30 am

Shelagh, you quack me up! Gentle Thoughts Duck_a10

Abe, I try to attract the birds, not keep them away, but a cousin of mine in Texas suspends cd's from her trees to scare the birds away. She says it works quite well.
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 7:11 am

I've come to a decision: I'm in with a bunch of nuts. So why do I enjoy it here?

Gentle Thoughts 402987
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 11:58 am

Does the bunch of nuts make you smile? I think we all come back for the same reason. To learn from one another, and enjoy the company of intelligent people!
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 12:36 pm

Zada, in case you're interested, there's still time for some Investment tips for 2008

If you have any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2008:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Ka y
Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.


2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner, Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Good Year and
become:

MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected tobecome: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally....

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang

PS. I'm just passing this along uncensored.
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 05, 2008 3:07 pm

Abe those are great. Thank you for "just passing" them along! Got a good laugh out of them, Especially #9!!
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JoElle
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JoElle

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 10:34 am

Some people are like Slinkies.
They are not really good for anything; but, they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

jocolor
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Pam
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 10:43 am

How did I miss this thread. You guys have me laughing -- thanks for that!

Now, back to work... Very Happy
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Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 11:28 am

What we can learn from a dog.

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and
pout... run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them
gently.

Love,
Wooffer
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 12:40 pm

I put this on another board, Betty.

Great, Betty. Some of those things can even be learned from a tiny hamster. Every one we've had loves Jackie and come rolling to her in their plastic ball when she calls. They tolerate me, especially when I have a treat in hand. It was funny recently when I wasn't in my usual chair when Sophie woke up for the evening. She couldn't understand it and wouldn't quit staring over at the empty chair. I guess most animals hate change. We'd love to have a dog but it wouldn't be practical in an apartment. Jackie contents herself with watching a small one in a yard six stories below whenever he's out.
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Betty Fasig
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Dear Dick,
Is Sophie the new hampster? I am glad to hear about her.
You know, animals like everything to be where they left it, no surprises. A plastic grocery bag someone has thrown out and that blows about in the wind is a monster of the worst kind for Wooffer. It is an unidentifiable menace that must be barked down and growled upon until it is understood for what it is, just a bag of wind.

Today, coming home from deliveries, two baby deer stopped in the road and in a twinkling they were gone to where mom was waiting. It always makes my day to see such illusive creatures. I wonder if it makes their day, as well, to see such an old bat as I.

Love,
Betty
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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyThu Jul 17, 2008 2:55 pm

Yes, Betty, Sophie has been with us for about six months now. Joey, the most lovable little guy that ever existed, died late last fall. He became partially paralyzed but until the last few days he would fight his way up the tubes in his cage. He loved life and people so much it was hard to see hime go. Zippy just died suddenly in December. No warning at all, which is the best way.
Sophie is a sweet, laid back little lady, the exact opposite of Joey. Sophie likes to sleep late in the evening and then wonders why she can't be out in her plastic ball for a longer time. She likes to be held, but gets restless after a few minutes. Joey was so relaxed about it that he would fall asleep in the palm of Jackie's hand.
Hamsters are great little animals, and very smart. As soon as they are able to walk they start using their potty and the females are very good housekeepers. The males give it a lick and a promise and go on to more exiting stuff. Seems a lot like most men, me included.
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyFri Jul 18, 2008 7:51 am


  1. Do not walk behind
    me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not
    walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just go away and leave me alone.

  2. Sex is like air.
    It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

  3. No one is listening
    until you Fart.

  4. Always remember
    you're unique. Just like everyone else.

  5. Never test the
    depth of the water with both feet.

  6. If you think nobody
    cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

  7. Before you
    criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you
    criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

  8. If at first you
    don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

  9. Give a man a fish
    and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
    drink beer all day.

  10. If you lend someone
    £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

  11. If you tell the
    truth, you don't have to remember anything.

  12. Some days you are
    the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

  13. Don't worry; it
    only seems kinky the first time.

  14. Good judgement
    comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement.

  15. A closed mouth
    gathers no foot.

  16. There are two
    theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

  17. Generally speaking,
    you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

  18. Experience is
    something you don't get until just after you need it.

  19. We are born naked,
    wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just get worse.

  20. Never, under any
    circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same
    night

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Pam
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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyFri Jul 18, 2008 9:58 am

That last one Abe, that's a doozy!
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JoElle
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JoElle

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptyFri Jul 18, 2008 10:02 am

To think ... this is where I get most of my advice.

I'm in trouble!

Shocked
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

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PostSubject: Re: Gentle Thoughts   Gentle Thoughts EmptySat Jul 19, 2008 3:44 pm

JoElle, I think we are all in trouble. Except maybe Betty with her gentleness and Dick with his soft Sofie side showing. I can see a few people falling down the stairs, and Abe's twisted adages made me smile. We are certainly coming up with some good ones! (Even if we are a little warped!)
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