Stuff I wonder about

Betty, as usual has got me thinking.

Lately I have not felt well. My last check-up didn't go well, and although my liver is cancer free, my bones aren't and I had to start a new treatment.

I was upset.

Then my leg started hurting big time. And then I got to feeling overall awful.

I called the cancer doctor and he said my feeling awful could not be due to reaction to the new treatment or the cancer advancing, but due to a "bug."

So yesterday when we got home from our cabin, I called the clinic. I said I felt terrible. The woman at the clinic said to come in. I said, "I feel too terrible to come in." I told her who I was and she said she'd get back to me. She did, I had an appointment, the first for the day today with an oncall doctor, and since it was his first appointment, I wouldn't have to wait. But, because of my situation, which this doctor must have checked on, I had to have lab work two hours before so he could have the results when he saw me.

I was awake all night. I knew I was dying.

This morning I went in for the lab work. My daughter's high school friend was at the check-in and got me right into the lab. They took me right away, beautiful loving nurses and technicians.

I went home, collapsed and returned for my appointment. My daughter's friend saw I could not walk well and got me into a wheel chair and told me this doctor I had never seen before was wonderful.

Sure enough, very soon, another sweet nurse came for me, checked my blood pressure and then the happiest, youngest doctor I've ever seen came into the room. He said he'd talked to Sarah. Sarah is a PA at the clinic I've been seeing once a month just because I get too scared if I don't see someone once a month just to tell me I'm still alive.

The doctor explained what he thought was going on, gave me three prescriptions and told me to stop taking one I had previously, that it was causing problems. I thought of Dick and his doctor with the IPhone and thought any minute this doctor would bring one out to show me his apps.

And once again I came home. I have had so many things wrong, stage four cancer, pulmonary embolism, and on and on. I am still alive. No one at that clinic has given up on me. My husband has not given up on me.

It all just makes me wonder about life and death.

Tonight we watched the movie "Night at the Museum" and laughed through most of it.

Tonight I will sleep, with confidence tomorrow I will again wake up.

Carol

11/19/2009

Carol...

Trust in God , you will be well. I pray
for you every day , you have more books in
you, so get back to writing , your a great
writer and a wonderful human being full of
love and full of life , so now take it easy for
a day or two and go out with your husband
and have a great time...That's an order ..

Love Joe..

Carol,
there are positive waves coming your way.
Abe

Thanks Joe and Abe.

I guess I'm getting all sentimental about Thanksgiving coming upon us.

I was so thankful for all those caring people yesterday but forgot about our pharmacist. He just opened a new pharmacy, the one closest to our house, a couple of years ago. His wife works with him. When I couldn't walk last year they provided curb service with meds and equipment. I go in and his wife gives me the meds, and she says, "Wait a minute. Dennis wants to say hello."

He answers all questions. My drug insurance called and asked if I didn't want to save a little money getting my meds by mail. I said, "And miss the professional help I get from my pharmacist? He tells me all about the meds and what to expect." Today he said he was glad to see the switch made as I would have fewer side effects.

I so want to reform health care, to change it from lack of personal comfort sometimes experienced, such as when I first had this ailment and was told I had a vitamin deficiency and my phone calls went unanswered.

It is not just about cure, which sometimes isn't possible, but about care and comfort. Dick experienced the latter as well.

I need to write a book about this. I did write a program 20 years ago, whose rights were recently purchased by an organization to make it their main program of operation. Their name will now be on it, but my co-writer's and mine will be there as original creators.

I recently had a rejection from an agent who said she would like to see more first person in my writing, to put in more emotion. I'm taking that to heart. I hesitate to write first person since I want to reach out to the reader and not appear egotistical, but I'm going to write my story.

Love, Carol

Leave all the work to the family and enjoy Thanksgiving, Carol.

What Shelagh said, and keep finding ways to laugh a lot.

Ann

Carol, I keep you in my prayers all the time. Write your book and keep busy and find things to laugh and take joy in. I know you do already, but it is always good to hear. You have a loving family and many friends who are thinking of you with prayers and positive thoughts.

Hugs,
Vickie

Thanks Shelagh, Ann and Tory.

We are going to our daughter's for Thanksgiving. It will be a smaller group than usual.

Carol

Dear Carol,

It sounds like you're heading in the right direction by eliminating the drug causing the side affects and finding ways to laugh. I pray that the new medications respond quickly and that you're feeling better in no time.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Helen

Carol,
today I had a great laugh. We visited an old friend who had a "smiley face" stuffed toy. When you hit it or pressed it, it produced laughter. It was so funny one could not help but laugh also. Laughter is good medicine. Sending a laugh to someone is a great gift idea.

Carol I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling to well. I hope your new medication routine makes you feel better.
You are in my prayers.
Just relax and chill out.