Why hair goes grey and other hair conundrums

Unbeknown to most people hair is intelligent and it is also quite a fussy substance.
It goes through life fighting you over your choice of hair style.
It sticks up in the morning when you wish it to lay down flat. It goes straight when you want it to stay curly. It grows long when you want it short and disappears when you need it the most.

Hair also dictates what colour it is going to be. Hair knows it only has a choice of basically two colours. The colour you were born with and Grey. Sometimes varying shades in between allow it a little artistic licence. Later in life as the years have advanced your age, your hair mostly goes grey. This is not usually the colour that hair has chosen to be itself out of preference but an attempt at mind control.
Hair follicles are known for their telepathic abilities. When hair is present in large quantities it’s powers of telepathic persuasion are very strong. The hairs owner usually obeys the commands without question and reaches for the hair dye ( the colour chosen telepathically by the hair) and sets about a radical hair colour change . In this way the hair gets its way and both party's hair and owner live happy together.

In cases where hair has migrated from the head to some other dimension yet to be discovered by science, there are less hair follicles to amplify the telepathic suggestions.
In these cases the owners having seen the grey hair reach not for the hair dye but the hair clippers and shave the whole lot off. The owners realising that the relationship with their hair has suffered irreconcilably and mistakenly believe that vanishing was what the hair truly wanted. So they generously give the hair what they believe it wants and cut it off. Bad for the hair and cold for the owners head.
In some instances a compromise is reached. The owners allow the remaining hair to grow to such a length that a comb over is possible. The real reason that hair vanishes frequently has to be blamed on TV travel shows. Hair often gets bored with staying in one place and after years of sitting on the owners head watching endless travel and holiday TV shows it yearns for some other exotic location and embarks on a journey that involves telepathic psychic genetic transmigration. Hence the hair vanishes and the owner goes bald. The location that the hair ends up in however is never in the hairs control because hair has not quite got this transmigration thing exactly right.
Billions of women all over the world suddenly and unexpectedly discover hair on their bodies in places hair is neither desired or should never be. These are not the precise exotic locations the hair intended to visit however and due to the scientific advancement of creams in the women’s cosmetic industry the hair is disposed of quite quickly and thus never returns to its owners head.

Very funny, David.

Medicine I am taking has had a field day on my hair. First it thinned, and I bought quite a nice collection of hats. Then with the help of expensive hair products, it came back in thick and curly.

One day I was wearing a hat and told some of my female family that my hair was thinning and going gray. They looked at me in astonishment and said, "You mean you didn't color your hair?"

I went to the beautician last week to get my hair cut. She was amazed and said, "I love your hair. I think it is better than it was before." I said perhaps it was the expensive shampoo versus the cheap stuff I used to buy.

Friday night we took my 94 year-old aunt out to dinner. I have not seen her in a few years. She is slightly ditzy, but all of a sudden she said, "Carol, you have gray hair! I like it. It has more character than your old hair."

Ah hair, what an interesting subject David.

Carol

Your hair looks fine in your photo Carol.
I suffer from what is known as migrating hair. But I know what my hair is thinking and no way is it going to force me to dye it.
So I get my dear wife to cut it short. That way my greyness is not so noticeable and my baldness is not such a shock.

David,

You brighten my day.

You ought to be on TV news--I would like it better.

Hair! Hair!

David,
haven't you learned that baldness is the result of having too many brains? The brains push out the hair follicles when they expand.

Dr Wayne Dyer: "I often pick up a strand from my pillow in the morning and ask myself, 'What held it in Yesterday?'"

Ann

Good one, David, and I like Abe's reason for it falling out. My hair turned all gray, then when I started taking a bunch of pills it started to get dark again. Now it's salt and pepper. Dark salt, not the white kind.

Yes Abe it is common knowledge that brains can often push hair out of the head. These displaced hairs often replant themselves
in the male chest area until they find a more suitable host.
In ladies the hair often falls below the hips and replants itself on the legs.