A question for Mel

How come you are not telling us the latest adventures of Adrian and Taylor? I still grin when I think of the photo of her hunting for Easter eggs (Where are the damn eggs?). Even though they are older, hearing about them would be interesting,

I usually use the word "sucks", but in this instance I will use the word "stinks". It sounds less offensive somehow.

The economy stinks. The weather stinks, one day it's seventy, the next it's thirty. Construction work stinks because there isn't any right now. Taxes stink because I have to figure them. The tax office stinks. In-Laws stink because they're too da*n pushy. They should be complaining to hubby instead of complaining to me. I really wonder if they actually think I give a sh...

I have been known to sit on the couch watching whole seasons of America's Next Top Model, sucking down M&Ms, wondering why I can't be skinny like those girls are. I am in a funk, folks. And I'm sorry I haven't enlightened you lately on the kids' progress.

The kids don't stink, not unless they run track or fail to bathe, which happens from time to time. One (who shall remain nameless) is bathing as I type. I suppose Spring Break meant to them "Spring Stink". Glad we're taking care of that!

It isn't as easy to tell about them as it used to be. We have stepped over the threshold called Adolescence. I used a capital there because that one word entails so much. It is kind of a sucking (there's that word again), unbalanced, vortex black hole that you step into, and free fall for several years. Kind of like Don does out of airplanes, but he enjoys that most times so it's not the same. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I just like to have a better grasp on my sanity.


Taylor is in 5th grade now, and is single...again. Her boyfriend, who I will call "K", dumped her this time on the good authority of his best friend. Last time Taylor did the dumping. This "relationship" mystifies me. They get along great as friends. They play together well, and go to each other's houses to hang out. There is no drama between them that goes on with Taylor and her girl pals. They really enjoy each other's companionship. But the problem with Taylor and K is that they can't be friends unless they are "going out". Otherwise they can't stand each other. I will thus explain the term going out.

Going out- The twenty first century term for going steady; going with. An exclusive realtionship. They do not, however, seem to go anywhere.


So Taylor is single, but not heartbroken. She does not wear her heart on her sleeve as I did at the same age. She says now she can concentrate on that other cute boy in her class. Boys are just a pastime for her, not so serious. She thinks they are as dumb as a bag of hammers, and she is probably right. I have always taught her to put herself first in any and all instances, before some boy. I think she gets it. So far, so good. K called the other day to see if Adrian wanted to come over. Adrian could'nt go because he was busy, but says he plans on having a good talk with K in the near future. Poor K.

Taylor plays basketball and made the 5th grade team. She is just about the shortest girl on the team, but it doesn't stop her. She is fast and aggressive. It is more difficult for her with all the taller girls, but she sees this as a challange and plays even harder. She's not bad and definitely has potential. She takes the ball down the court (her dumb mom doesn't know what this position is called), hesitates briefly at the line, then veers in from the side to land the shot. It always doesn't land, but we're getting there.

I can see her becoming more stubborn. She can't help that, she gets it from her daddy. And the time has come and gone when we had to go to Wal Mart to get some certain underwear. This was after the panty raid, mind you. She's growing up. We're in a lull right now, but it is an eerie lull.
The calm before the storm, I believe. **sigh**


Adrian, AKA Flash. Where do I begin? I have stepped into that unknown, nerve-sucking wortex with him. And he's laughing all the while.
Tramps. That one word describes the girls that look his way, steal his breath, and trample his heart to bits and pieces in their wake. It's funny though how I never seem to physically see any of these chics. I see their avatars on places like Myspace, Yahoo and instant messanger. I hear his Buckcherry ringtone and know that yet another black-eyeliner-wearing girl (racoon?) is sending a text. It's funny how all their avatars look the same. They all wear a tank top, and the eyeliner. They all have that sweetsy-innocent look as they are looking up at their camera, and the peace sign seems universal in all avatars. I didn't realize we were living back in the hippy era. Maybe it's just my mistake.

Adrian says he really gets to know the girls this way. My mind can't seem to compute this possibility, but if Adrian says it, it must be so. He is, after all, the teenager, so that implies he knows most everything and them some. They rarely talk on the phone. Cyberspace is their battleground. All my friends says their kids do the same, so I guess this is how it is done these days.

Adrian is a great communicator and talks to me all the time about things. That pleases me greatly. I advise him the best I can. At least we're talking, so I don't complain too much. I also tell him the same as I tell my daughter. Put yourself first. And a new one I just thought up:

Get your own house in order before you play house.

Pretty good, huh? I think so!

His luck with girls has not been good. But he is particular, as he should be. He has gotten his heart stomped on enough to know that he is better than what certain girls offer him. He's waiting for that special one. I sure hope he's patient.


Adrian is active in soil judging in the FFA. He will be doing some welding toward the end of the school year. And next year, his freshman year, he will be allowed to do more welding. He is gearing up for another season of baseball, his last before he tries for Varsity. I doubt he'll have a problem although he'll really have to step it up this year to show the Varsity coach what great potential he has.

Adrian is a redneck. Confederate flags galore in his room. He's a good ole' boy and one with a huge heart. He cares greatly about others and can do a great many things in his life. The military recruiters have other ideas.

Everywhere we go, it seems, the recruiters are on him. Shaking his hand, grinning like possums, and trying to get to know him. I chase them away regularly. They don't realize he has yet to reach his fifteenth birthday, but I remind them real quick. When he is eighteen, he can make his own decisions with my blessing, but for now, back off!

I can't think of anything else right now, but I hope I have enlightened you some on how they're doing. Again, I'm sorry I have failed to do this. I will add more as time progresses.

I'm sure those two will give me enough headaches to write a full length manuscript before they're grown.

And if you didn't guess before, even when I complain, I love them both very much. Even flying through that vortex of the unknown.

**SIGH**

Dear Mel,

AbSOlutly wonderful story and post.

Love,
Betty

That was great, Mel. Takes me back to a time gone by!

I'm glad you liked the post. I could write oodles more on the subject. Perhaps I will start a thread that pertains strictly to raising teenagers today. It wouldn't be boring, that's for sure.

Where would I start? Current teen lingo, text deciphering, what teens really mean when they say something else, fashion, tastes in music and television... I could go on, but I won't. It's late. I think I have already given you enough food for thought tonight. =)

I'm definitely not claiming to be an expert, as I'm sure most of you have raised your own teenagers. Maybe you'all can give me some advice. I will say that times are certainly different. Even a lot different from when I was a teenager in the mid to late 80's. I don't remember too much of that anyway. I think I sniffed too much Aqua Net in the process of getting that BIG hair!

Me too! Especially that vortex. To survive, I removed three teenagers from the real world, entrapped them on a 70 foot sailboat and forced them into real danger for three years of blue water sailing. I couldn't handle them on land, seeking the adrenalin rush only danger provides at high speeds and high anxiety. Their high speed became seven knots and the rush was up the 75 foot mast in the bosun's chair or facing the sharks in snokling gear or driving me nuts watching through a Bahamas bucket as they bopped the barracuda on the nose in play. It was such a long time ago - take pictures so you can remember the tattoos and the crazy haircuts and even the peace signs. I look at those pictures and wonder who they are? Is one of those the successful young man past forty, the owner of an aircraft maintenance facility in Florida? Yes, they came through all right, and it seems like a dreamscape, all those years of prayer.

So today is March 30. So far we've got a nice little spring shower going on. About 8 inches of the white stuff and still coming down.

So Adrian is into the confederacy. That's interesting. I'm pretty much a yankee. But in my ongoing search for ancestors I'm come across the fact that my GGGG grandmother, Rachel Davis, is a cousin (I'm not sure how close) to Jefferson Davis. I will assume Adrian knows who Jefferson Davis is. On some level Adrain and your old friend from Idaho are somehow kindred spirits. Tell him sorry, though, no confederate flags hanging in my bedroom.

Charlie

Mel,

Make sure Flash has a nice long talk with me before he makes any enlistment decsions.

As for getting through the teen years, Erma Bambeck said something like when the kids turn ten lock them in a closet and shove food under the door until they turn eighteen, then if you can't get along with them you can legally throw them out.

I don't know why he is into the Confederacy, he was born and raised here in the North. He knows a bit about it and is interested in the heritage and the events leading up to the war. As long as he knows both sides, I don't have a problem with his interest. I will tell him what you said, Charlie.

And Don, thanks for your offer to talk to him. I know nothing of the military. He doesn't seem inclined to go that way so far, but I know that can always change. I just don't like them trying to recruit him at this age. And they're too damn obvious about it. Like I'm stupid and don't know. =)

Locking him in a closet sounds tempting, but the CPS would be on me for sure. Don't forget that we are not supposed to discipline our kids anymore. They have RIGHTS!!

BS.

If you forget to do everything else, Mel, remember to have him talk to Don before making any decisions about the military. I'm not knocking it, but it's a time when you need to have both eyes wide open.

Thanks for the update. I have a suggestion (naturally). This would be a perfect time for you to write a story about the things in your report. You have inside information, a good perspective and the ability to write. A perfect combination.

Maybe without realizing it, Adrian is picking up signals from the past. At the time of the Civil War, Southern Indiana was a hot bed of Copperheads, Southern sympathizers living in the North. I once wrote a short story about it in the long-gone Espionage magazine. I can't remember much about it other than that French Lick played a part. Maybe a little of that Copperhead blood runs in his veins.

Mel I loved the tale of your kids. Mine are now beyond the teen years at 20 and 23, and there were times I was sure we would not make it. A sailboat would have been a good idea DK - we were landlocked in those days, but tempting all the same.

Don't worry Mel -- sometime around when they turn 19 or 20, the aliens return your real, lovely, children to you and take their own belligerant, obnoxious and over the top ones back. Cheeky buggers, those aliens, but there you go. Hope springs eternal.

Well, nineteen and twenty is not so far away, is it? Wait! The vortex is still sucking me down. Yep, it's kind of far away. But you have given me a goal to work toward. =)

I will definitely take your advice to have Flash talk to Don if push comes to shove. Thanks so much for the suggestion. As far as the military, we have not a clue. My mom came from a military background, but perhaps that makes her biased. I know because one day we got in a tuss about it. I know you will give him valuable and honest advice, and I trust you.

Dick, thank you for the advice. I have sent you a private message.

Southern Indiana wanted to go grey during the Civil War, and still runs with Southern tones today. The KKK was founded in Martinsville, and still has a large following just one county over from here. Someone in town once told me I wouldn't believe how many people I knew where involved. They didn't supply names and I didn't ask! I do not condone their activities, only stating facts. There is still a lot of prejudice here. During the election, you rarely saw an Obama sign anywhere. You still hear a lot of talk of hatred toward him. Immediately after Obama won, (some) people around here were seriously pis*ed. You heard it everywhere you went, and displeasure was thick in the air. It makes me angry because I know it's just because he's not white. They aren't giving him a fair chance.

So I live in a hot bed of Southern sympathies today. Hard to believe, isn't it? I guess I grew up with it, so I am used to it. I also realize there are two sides to the Southern Cause. There is also a heritage there and should not be forgotton.

I hope I haven't opened a can of worms here!