You are special to me ...

Thanks Shelagh...sorry it took so long.

Jo Elle,

Thank you for saying such nice things about people.

It is refreshing to see kind, gracious words.

Be safe,

Best,
Alice

JoElle, that's very kind of you. I had students do an exercise like that when I was teaching; we were working on respect as well as trying to squash bullying that was going on. Those children (in grade 2) came up with beautiful and poignant compliments to one another. It was really moving to be a part of it.
As an adult, it really took me some time and practice to learn how to accept a compliment graciously. Now I understand it as a way to properly acknowledge the person offering it. I managed, over a period of time, to move from "pshaww" through "not bad" to a sincere "thank you very much". I still blush profusely, but I am sure that no one can see it. Right?

Pam wrote:

JoElle, that's very kind of you. I had students do an exercise like that when I was teaching; we were working on respect as well as trying to squash bullying that was going on. Those children (in grade 2) came up with beautiful and poignant compliments to one another. It was really moving to be a part of it.
As an adult, it really took me some time and practice to learn how to accept a compliment graciously. Now I understand it as a way to properly acknowledge the person offering it. I managed, over a period of time, to move from "pshaww" through "not bad" to a sincere "thank you very much". I still blush profusely, but I am sure that no one can see it. Right?

I imagine you were an awesome teacher!!
What a positive way of handling bully problems.

Sounds like most of us have had to learn how to accept compliments.
I finally learned my lesson when an older friend corrected me after I "blew off" an honest compliment from someone else. She told that a compliment is a verbal GIFT and any gift deserves a gracious THANK YOU.

That struck me and stayed with me.

Alice wrote:

Jo Elle,

Thank you for saying such nice things about people.

It is refreshing to see kind, gracious words.

Be safe,

Best,
Alice

You are welcome!

I really really do appreciate having such a special group of writer buddies.

You guys are truly the best!

They are, they are! Full or wonder, full of warmth, full of wisdom: the www. writers of the forum!

I told one of my oldest friends how much she looked like her mother. She said it made her feel old. I told her that her mother was one of the prettiest women I knew (and she was!) and my friend replied, "Ah, now you are just buttering me up."

Shelagh

Tell her "Fine, Ratface!" Maybe that will bring her around--she is simply fishing for more compliments--does she ever hand any out?

I almost wrote that I should have said, "Okay ratface, have it your own way!" You must have been reading my thoughts!

She's a good egg. I have always been a bit jealous of her and I'm full of admiration. She has a full time job teaching maths (math) and she has brought up three children. Her daughter has just had twins and my friend and her husband are over the moon about it (they were premature and it was touch and go but they are brilliant now). There is a sad part of the story. Her mum died not long after her daughter (with the twins) was born. When I said that she looked like her mum, I was thinking of her as a young woman in her thirties. My friend was thinking of her mum in her early fifties, when she died.

Sometimes we just don't hear what is intended. Sometimes people don't have to give the compliments. We just know what they think.

I have a friend who compliments me on the clothes I wear or what I cook, which is fine, but I'm not by any means a fashion guru and don't like cooking much.

Compliments via email are different. Like my friend Alice. She has no other picture of me but my avatar and I haven't treated her to a meal yet, but she compliments me on my writing and my friendship. That is nice.

Thank you Alice.

Carol

When someone compliments me I feel I have failed.

I understand. It ruins your image as a grumpy old man. Something you have worked hard to achieve all your life.

Marie Pacha wrote:

What's wrong with women in their 50's? It's certainly not old!

Just ask me, I'm 56.

Before I was 50, when I was in my 30's, I thought anyone over 50 was old. Now that I am over 60, 50 seems young.

Shelagh wrote:

I understand. It ruins your image as a grumpy old man. Something you have worked hard to achieve all your life.

Worked at it? Look again, Shelagh. It's natural.