Holiday eating tips

Holiday Eating Tips
I follow these every year - faithfully!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-
malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt
scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!
Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if
you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a
treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.

It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hellllo?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a
ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

Merry Christmas!

All the talk of healthy eating just needed this tidbit for the holiday season!

I love all of these suggestions, Zada! Especially the one about the fruitcake. I can't stop giggling!

Merry Christmas!!

I've spent many years trying to make sure the last paragraph is the only way to say bye-bye.

Zada,

I couldn't agree more.

I love this list Zada...especially the rules about gravy and pie. Not the fruitcake one, however, it's in my blood. Christmas without fruitcake is my favourite time of year with a big hole in it...perhaps you guys just haven't found the right kind of fruitcake in your past. It really is nothing like the horrible crap they sell in the stores, trust me.

Pam, I have had GOOD fruitcake, that is true. But most of them are store bought and not very good. In fact my step dad's mom made Yule cake (Yulacaka) that was quite good. Light on the fruit, and more like a bread. One of the few things she made well.

Pam,and Zada,

Probably the problem everyone has with fruitcake is the schoolkids sell them to raise money and the relatives end up wtih too many of them. I am sure there are some very good ones.

Just like apple pie.
Apple pie is either delicious or downright sickening.
A boughten one can be revolting-- huge chunks of raw apples.

I would love to try a piece of homemade fruitcake.

Well Zada and Alice, since you are both in the same state (despite being clear across the continent from me)...I'll have to see what I can do. You'll just have to get the tea ready...

The tea is on! If you can make it through the snow!

Have snow tires, will travel...

I'm afraid you'll need more than snow tires and 4 wheel drive to get through the mountain passes. This morning there was only one open, and that was blocked with a semi that went cockeyed!

LOL Zada - I know what you mean -- we're only attached to the rest of the country by a little spit of land, and it's closed regularly due to high winds and snow. The last time - a few weeks ago - people were stuck on the highway for 14 hours. Today there is just freezing rain, a wee bit of snow and highly polished surfaces. The day after tomorrow, I am hoping that it'll melt!