HOW TO GOLF

I am now a golf instructor. It is easier than you think, I don't even need to demonstrate or tell anyone how to stand, walk or think.

Golf has always been too difficult. By the time you acquire the proper clothing, put on a good attitude and get a perfect day you are done in.

I like to keep it simple. I tell my husband, "Put the ball in the hole." He does so and tah dah his game improved.

Neurontin, the drug I hate, made me fall, so I went golfing with him.

Golf is wonderful--the scenery is gorgeous. If you don't golf begin at once.

It is easier than you think.

With all the new gadgets, perhaps golf instruction will soon be done remotely.

I think you can do it in your living room with one of those WII gadgets, Abe. I think I shall pass, though.

I have a friend who thought it would be wonderful if she and her husband and my husband and I could all golf together. I hated the idea. The three of them could golf all they wanted but I hated golf, mostly because I had to take ten times as many strokes as anyone else and thus got tired around hole number four. (I am pretty good at putting after lots of mini-golf with grandkids.)

She kept bugging me and I would always say "no." I was telling my granddaughter this and she suggested "Tell her you are so bad at golf that your granddaughter did better than you, and she was only nine and it was her first time at golf."

My granddaughter was telling the truth, and no I'm not taking up golf!

Carol

Carol,


I do not golf. I merely ride along--drive the golf cart and give advice.
I gave up golf years ago.

I got tired of everyone telling me how to stand--how to hold my elbow knee, wrist etc...ad naseum..

Have no fear of me when it comes to golf.

The onlty thing I did well was childbirth, operations etc--Thank God or I wouldn't be here mouthing off.

Race you!

You play golf too? Is there no end to your talents? I was going to make a snide remark about people who spend their time playing such a ridiculous game but have decided not to. Just think of the work they could do instead.

I'm with you, Alice. Riding along is a great way to get out into the fresh air and gorgeous scenery. At one time, I had a pretty good tennis game, but golf was always beyond me.

Ann

My husband is a good athlete, and I was an uncoordinated clutz from day one. Now he instructs me on walking up stairs. "Put your right foot on the stair, give a little bounce and then push up." Something like that. My mind and body just don't work well together. But I have a good mind and good bones. The only thing ever broken was toes.

Carol

Carol,

You and my son-in-law could commiserate, but the positive attitudes you both have are probably part of what is getting you better. the walking and climing will get better, too. I'm sure if it!

Ann

Alice,
you ride the golf cart and give advice? Is there no end to backseat drivers?
Carol,
You sound a bit like my wife when she reluctantly went with me golfing. After the second hole, she just picked up the ball after the first shot and then placed in on the putting green for the next shot. I had a tough time beating her.
When my father was still living, I would go with him since he needed the exercise. Of course that was when one either carried the golf bag or pulled it on a hand cart. Then when he decided to use a riding cart, he was on his own.
I'm glad you are able to at least climb the stairs. The older we get the more movement/exercise becomes important. Those who can't walk develop other problems. So Carol, keep moving even though it is slow going. Remember the Tim Conway shuffle on the Carol Bernett show? I'm sure you could beat him in a race.

Carol, I think you and Alice have wonderful husbands! Not perfect, but pretty dammed good.

Dick, I do play golf. I play badly and it doesn't bother me one jot. I can play spectacular shots that would make me a pro except for the fact that they only occur as often as the recent juxtaposition of the Moon with Jupiter and Venus!

INCONCEIVABLE!

Now I can clearly see why President-Elect Obama did not appoint me Secretary of State.

I could bring about Armageddon in the bllink of an eye.

If you will allow me to stay, I will try to improve my topics.

Sincerely,

Alice

Don't worry,

It gives me a reason to take Abe's sage advice: I just blew it when I left the "b" out of "climbing."

You're right, Abe, that felt good.

Ann

Ann,

You can edit it--then delete your last post and noone will know.
I will never tell. Look in the top right hand corner of your post.

... but I will know.

Alice, you are a riot, and I love your topics; so don't change unless you have to!