I hope I am wrong

What I see is our young people growing up with animated role models, games that they can interact with those fictional heros and not a lot of human interaction person to person. Not a lot of conversation that is not in a text message code.

Music used to be the connection that glued young people together. It was a positive thing. Music was replaced by rapping rhythm, not really music, but rhyme and nasty words of hate.

It is not just that the parents have to work, it is that the advertising media has taken over just like the news meda and has told everyone what is cool and god forbid if you are a young person and not cool.

I hope I am wrong.

Love,

Betty

I hope this helps:



Annie

I wish you were wrong, but fear you are not. We live in a world where the attention span is stretched to the snapping point at the outer edges of a 140-character tweet. Instant messaging. Instant gratification. Instant praise for the most glaring mediocre achievement lest feelings be hurt or psyches scratched by the slings and arrows of outrageous truths.

But it is not advertisers' faults (though I have little use for Madison Avenue). It is the responsibility of parents to, well, . . . parent. The simple truth is that it takes a caring, involved family to raise a productive, well-adjusted child who cares about others because he has learned the example from her/his parents and knows his/her worth because he/she was guided towards meaningful achievement and given appropriate praise only when it was earned.

When the responsibility of child rearing is left to the village by parents too busy (or too lazy, uninformed, or selfish), the result is more likely to be a village idiot than a village leader.

I taught English language and literature to high school students for 22 years. Would have been more, but I started late, after being a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. For all those teaching years, because of the campuses I chose to teach at, most of my students were considered "at risk" by the State of Texas educational system.

For several years, at the first of two campuses where I spent my career, I taught AP English. If you want to see a realistic example of what that involves, see the film, "Stand and Deliver," starring James Edward Elmos as the LA math teacher, Jaime Escalante. Or, if you want to see an English teacher tackling the same kinds of kids, try "Dangerous Minds" starring Michele Pfieffer [sic?]

The last eight years were were at a special facility that was set up to reduce the drop-out rate. Our kids were considered the lowest of the losers - the ones who had slipped through every crack imaginable.

Our first valedictorian was a 19-year-old mother of four children - married from the time the first pregnancy became obvious. (She was Catholic) I remember one day when she asked me, in a very frustrated voice, "What will it take to get a 100 on an essay? (Her usual scores were around 97-98). I told her, "a perfect essay." Before the semester ended, she had her 100. During her first year of college she came back to the campus and told her friends who were still there, "Every teacher you have needs to be as demanding as "Ms. J."

I'm telling this story because I want you to clearly understand that I do not believe in "pandaring" to these young people.

One of the first things I was taught when I began teaching was the concept that "Every student can learn." I was told that, if I did not whole-heatedly believe that, then my ability to teach would be severely limited. By the end of my first year, because of my experiences, I firmly believed it. I was known, over the years, to at times, use "unique" means to convince my students that they could learn.

Sometimes I screwed up, but I would say that most of my students over the years would agree with that first night school valedictorian.

These are good kids at heart. All they need is someone to believe in them.

Good posts. I agree. Pandering is not the answer. Kids must learn at an early age that rewards must be earned. Flunking a student may seem harsh, but it was a common thing years ago and there were no negative side effects that I'm aware of. Passing people who haven't earned the right is a gross injustice. It is an injustice to other students who have worked hard to pass.

I believe in encouragement and reward when deserved. Kids are smart. They learn how to beat the system and that follows them in later life. They should learn to write. Texting short-cuts is not writing in my view. They also must learn to calculate with their heads and not rely on electronic devices. When the machines fail, they fail.

Attention given to this subject is positive. Recognizing problems lead to solutions.

It's a complicated process, getting young people to believe in themselves. Holding high expectations is only a part of it. Flunking them doesn't help. Starting where they are is good Making sure they are given tasks that they can succeed at is key. If they do not believe they can be successful, they won't be. Telling them "You can do this" only works if you, as teacher, honestly believe they can. This is especially true with kids from difficult backgrounds. Positive feedback works best. They have to know you care, and that you want them to succeed.

There is a difference in teaching from a teacher’s perspective and that of a parent.
Admittedly, I was never a school teacher, but I was/am a parent.
I know the children’s reaction to learning. I also know what teachers they liked or didn’t like and why.
I have associated with teachers for many years, and still do. Teachers of various cultures reflect that kids are much alike. I don’t believe there is any fool-proof system nor is there any one right way to teach. In my view, teaching and learning go together. If a child finds a subject interesting, he/she will usually do well in the subject. That’s where the teacher plays a big role. Making history come alive is one example. Learning/memorizing dates and events may be important to pass a test, but is it learning?

Discipline is a major problem in schools today. In the days when parents supported the teacher, there was a level of control. Many associate this with beatings. Although that happened, it is just one part of discipline. Taking away privileges, removing unruly students from the classroom, placing them on probation are some methods of control. Disruptive forces detract from learning. For those who want to learn, they require a learning environment.

My son taught at a private International school several years ago. The school made its money on students whose parents could afford to send them. It was important for the teacher to have the students like them so that they would remain in school and the school could continue to collect the fees. Having failed to convince the administration that the teacher required more authority to control/discipline students, he resigned. He says it was a constant battle to keep the kids quiet. They seemed to know that he was limited in what he could do and took advantage of that. To them it was a game. Going to school was to have fun. Then there were those who truly wanted to learn and the class was constantly disrupted by the same unruly students.

I don’t have a solution to the problems, but I do believe discipline plays a major role. Respecting the teacher, respecting authority is very important. When we had the military draft, young men learned what discipline was. For a unit to function, they must follow orders/directions. That should begin in the home and continued in the school.

Parent/teacher conferences are a regular thing with my grandchildren at school in Charlottesville, VA. Problems are discussed and corrective actions taken so that parent and teacher are working together.

Structure is important. Adults need to establish limits and clear consequences for going outside those limits. Natural consequences work best. Any form of physical or emotional violence sends the wrong message. The idea is for the child to feel safe and secure enough to participate cooperatively with an atmosphere of mutual respect. Make it clear that choosing to break the rules means that the responsibility for the consequences is theirs. It is the adult's responsibility to establish the structure and be clear and consistent. It is the child's responsibility to decide whether or not to accept the rules, knowing that experiencing the consequences are her or his choice as well. It is more important in a school setting to have the backing of the principal and other administrators than it is to have the backing of the parents. If the administration makes their expectations clear, and follows through, fewer problems arise.

I haven't taught in a classroom for 11 years, but my children are all involved in one way or another. My oldest daughter is a middle school administrator. My younger daughter a high school counselor. Both of them spent years in the classroom before moving into their current positions. My son is a professor at a university that focuses on preparing future teachers. None of them complain about excessive discipline problems in today's classrooms.

But that's just our experience and perspective.

Every generation feels that the following one is broken because they maintain a separate and distant culture from their parents. Watch Rebel Without a Cause for how it was in the 1950s.
Today's kids will be okay.

Every generation bemoans the laxity in the generation following - probably to the days of cave people.

There are cycles of life that are primeval. As we have evolved socially, we have replaced the natural cycles with artificial ones.

I have found children to the age of eleven or so very eager to learn when given the time and attention they need from their educators: siblings, parents, grandparents, teachers, principals, librarians, officers, etc. Every older person "teaches" whether intentional or accidental, whether good ideas or bad ones. Thus, the environment into which one is born is critical.

The age of puberty is a crazy time. In the past, girls were married at 16 and many young men by 19 or 20. That took care of their education and their hormones. Responsibilities took care of their drive to danger. They had to fight off thieves, storms and weather cycles to survive. They were too busy for trouble.

The elite class always had options for men. Women had one responsibility - to marry. Thus, trapping hormone raging youth in classrooms from age 12 to 18 is a challenge. The fact that any learn anything is a credit to their environment and the genetic disposition to curiosity that might be part of their inheritance.

Like all previous generations, we will continue to pose ideas about what is the best way to raise children and the best way to educate them. They are one and the same. The culture and the society will dictate the current trends whether we like them or not. The generations that follow us will not look or behave like us. Before we enter the grave, we will be strangers in our own culture.

That's the way it is. There are some things that seem to contribute to harmony in life - music, art, philosophy, spiritual beliefs, respect for elders - but they are no guarantee. No, we will just muddle along like previous generations with wars and hatred and greed - and a most of the people will just concern themselves with their daily existence - food on the table, reasonable health and bringing up offspring as best they can.

However, regarding offspring - the educated people seem to prefer dogs. That could make a major difference in the future.

The educated people who choose to have children are waiting longer and having fewer. That's probably a good sign, too.

I see progress in our attitudes toward parenting and teaching, especially among those older parents. We seem to be moving away from controlling children through fear and toward showing a greater degree of love, which includes setting and enforcing limits without being punitive in the process.

alj wrote:

The educated people who choose to have children are waiting longer and having fewer. That's probably a good sign, too.

I see progress in our attitudes toward parenting and teaching, especially among those older parents. We seem to be moving away from controlling children through fear and toward showing a greater degree of love, which includes setting and enforcing limits without being punitive in the process.

I see this too. It is a good trend.

4/22/2013
Today many parents, especially younger ones treat their
children like their friends , this is a bad mistake, children
should be taught their parents are their parents not their
friends, also taught to respect other people, teachers, police,
priest, etc..........Cheers..........Joe...

I agree, Joe. Respect for elders and those in authority begins in the home.
To this day, when a kid addresses me by my first name, I find it hard to hold my tongue. To relatives, I am Uncle. To anyone else, I am Mister. If the parents won't correct the child, I will.
This also extends to the workplace where the boss is just another Tom, Dick or Harry. Lack of respect creates a breakdown in authority. The boss can't be just one of the guys and expect to manage. "Familiarity breeds comtempt" is a true cliche.

Our children emulate us. We set the standards. When we go to a restuarant and see children misbehave and they refuse to obey parental commands, one assumes that there is no control at home.

Etiquette must be taught in the home. Where that doesn't exist, it should extend to the classroom.

Just my ingrained views.

4/23/2013
Abe..
I remember when my 2nd niece was 10 or 11, she yelled at
my mother " Hey Marie." My mother came close and looked her in the
eye and said: " I'm your grandmother, not your friend. Don't ever call
me Marie again, it's grandma." That's the way I was raised it was
either Uncle Abe or Mr. March...................Cheers..Joe..

Almost 20 years ago I was visiting relatives in Mississippi. My youngest cousin (about 12 years old) and I went for a walk. Every time he spoke to me, he said, "Miss" first. It was a strange feeling to this yankee.

When I was principal at an alternative school, my own last name was long and often misspoken and misspelled. I started using my pen name. It was interesting how the students switched from near disrespect to respectfully calling me "Miss Christi." It seemed my willingness to help them with a name less cumbersome helped gain their respect.

In spite of how disrespectful students may be, they want their names pronounced correctly.