TILL WE MEET AGAIN!

E.Don sent me a message saying he tried, but cannot post here.
I am sorry he feels that way--perhaps he will change, perhaps not!

I am changing my approach to Zizban. For some reason he wants to be here.
I will uphold his freedom of speech and no longer oppose him or ignore him.

To post on a forum, demands tolerance of differing standards and viewpoints.
I will try to remember that.

I can't believe it--I made a good post. Don't anyone ever forget it. I won't!

I love love love your hat, Alice!!

Thanks, Rhett.

Good thing I like hats. I about have enough hair to color and trim now.

E. Don is a positive contributor; don't know why he can't post. I have taken vacations; but there are enough people with whom I have shared much that I wish to continue that camaraderie. I also am interested in new members as they have much to share also.

I find the one way communication of facebook unsatisfactory and haven't developed the forum relationships to the same extent at other forums. I do participate in my publisher's forum, but it has a different tone, more notices of new books published, new events, etc. It's less personal. Also it is associated with the publisher so there's a bit of apple polishing also.

DK,

Maybe you can get him back here. He is a talented writer.

We have to be a forum that attracts those that wish to belong. Each of us answers to a different muse...he is very talented.

I miss Don's posts. He was honest. That honesty rubbed some the wrong way.
Being blunt/honest with your thoughts is no longer politically correct. We prefer deception. Many want to be told what they want to hear as in asking for a book review/critic and then being offended by the critical part. Then, as Don pointed out, there are some who want to hide behind some mask. Could it be a safe place to avoid criticism? Then there's one character who makes posts that you can't read without some form of translation. Is that being cute, clever or just plain dumb? I consider it the latter. It is difficult to find time to do all one wants to do, and to spend time looking for some translation is a waste of time. Those posts I choose to ignore.

I heard a story recently about a Nun who complained to Mother Superior about the language used by some of the construction workers at the convent. Mother Superior said, "You must understand workers use plain talk. They call a Spade a Spade." "Oh no they don't," said the Nun. "They call it a "F--kin shovel"

For those who are offended by that quote, that's your problem. Calling a Spade a Spade may not be what you want to hear.

I am offended by language used specifically to shock and offend. When language is a tool for communicating a thought or idea in context, that is a different matter. I spent five years in a military environment with hard living young men from ghetto environments and areas of the country known for poverty and poor educations. Their language was straight from the gutter - but out of respect, they made a point, an obvious point, of clearing it up for the female teachers. The same applies to experiences in alternative schools and prisons.

I'm sorry; I am just old fashioned enough to believe that mixed audiences deserve respect, even on a forum. It does not mean I condemn the writer or that I leave the forum; but just as a person feels the right to use language to which I take offense, I defend my right to state that I believe the beauty of language is that it provides better ways to express a thought, anger or joy, than with the easiest gutter word available.

Do I judge the speaker and writer? Judge is a big word. I do have thoughts about people who choose to express themselves in ways not appropriate for the audience. To me, it reflects their lack of consideration for me. I am but one person in a sea of humanity with the choice of where I wish to read and write. Depending on the entire context of the person's body of postings, it does not mean that I cannot appreciate them or their words. Some of my close acquaintances could use a good bar of soap now an then; their cultural roots are different than mine but their humanity is the same.

DK.

The soap brings back unpleasat memories--did you ever have your mouth washed out with soap

I did once! I don't remember what I said. Mom did not like foul or even improper speech. She must have washed the offending word out of my memory.

At school , one of the girls used a gutter word. The teacher said , You may eat a bar of soap or have a whipping."

The soap was Ivory. The teacher used a heavy belt. What a choice!

After thinking and crying, in front of the whole class, they didn't bother with privacy, the poor girl finally attempted to eat the soap and gagged after the first bite.

Times have changed--thank goodness!

In retrospect, the teacher was worse than the child, in my opinion.

I miss E.Don.

If we moan , maybe he will come back.
Time will tell.

You can talk to him on Facebook, right? He's obviously much happier there. He shows up about 3x/year here to ruminate if "this board is for him," bitch about "trolls who don't use their real names," and then flounce out. What a drama king.

Well, you have catalogued his faults--no one is perfect.
It would be a bore if everone were the same.

I didn't catalog his faults. I described his actions. Oh, I forgot this one: after a long absence, he arrives with a grand statement of how he'd never come here except for [insert reason].

I expect in a few months it will be lather, rinse, repeat.

Time will tell.

You don't have to miss him. I do.

D.K., I like your kindness. It comes through in your comments.
As to people coming and going, heck I do that too.

Life gets too hectic at times and I don't feel as if I can whittle much time for forums. Not saying this is everyone's case...

And aren't writers supposed to be a bit dramatic?

Now I will duck. I know things will fly...

Rhett,

I am always glad when you pop in.

Dramatic for sure!!!! and emotional!!! and egocentric!!! and sensitive!!! and passionate!!! - the fact we communicate with each other at all is miraculous. I guess it's the sane ones that keep us going :-)

We had another thread that chronicled the writers who had definite mental "challenges" from deep depression, to paranoia, to bi-polar, etc. etc. The question was whether to treat the mental illness and destroy the genius or leave the genius to suffer with life in favor of art. It was a question left airborne...

Thanks for mentioning that my posts seem to present me as a kind person. I believe that aspect is correct. I had a stepmother who was such an example of unconditional love that some of it couldn't help but rub off - not all of it however :-)

Kindness, however, is not always the best suit to wear in this world. It is often misinterpreted and I am sometimes resentful when I am treated poorly. The old, "why me of all people?" My friend always says, "why not me?"

DK,

What is your mother like?

My mother is 91 and a sweet, independent person who keeps to herself and whom I consider a friend at this point in our lives. She has mellowed over the years. I left Michigan at 18 and only returned occasionally. She visits me in Florida each winter and is a pleasure to have in my home. She is quite attractive still with style and southern charm. May I age as well!!!

I hope you do. You will probably live to see 100.

3/31/2011


As far as E. Don is concerned I admire him, I'm like him
at times, coming from Brooklyn, I'm at times to the point
I don't play games, I don't like phonies, I admire people
who are gentle and kind and there are many here...I don't
like when people use four letter words instead of using
other words this means their un-educated...


Cheers..Joe..

I like it when people can disagree on so many things yet find common ground on others. On this one, Joe, you and I are in pretty close agreement.

I do know that our roots shape our behavior. At a certain age, however, we learn to live in a society that requires some changes because of the diversity of human beliefs and values and trying to get through this life with some peace and serenity.

dkchristi wrote:

I like it when people can disagree on so many things yet find common ground on others. On this one, Joe, you and I are in pretty close agreement.

I do know that our roots shape our behavior. At a certain age, however, we learn to live in a society that requires some changes because of the diversity of human beliefs and values and trying to get through this life with some peace and serenity.

Ann