Larry, Curly & Moe

Because I feel that I have many friends who post on this forum, I thought I would post this story because it is about how Wooffer is a friend to some homely cats who had no idea how to be cats.




Larry, Curly, and Moe were the three most homely cats anyone would want to meet. They had no spots, not blotches, and no stripes. They were not sleek and shiny, their hair was not long and beautiful, they were not particularly intelligent, they were always hungry, they were lazy and did not have the first clue how to be a cat.

Larry and Curly and Moe lay around all day waiting for Wooffer’s mom to fill their dish, and then complained that there was never enough milk and picked out the good stuff and left the rest.

Margaret, the chicken, ate from their food. Cho Lee Yen, the peacock ate from their dish. Snouzer, the dog who lived next door, ate a little. Wooffer had some, too. Even some of the Thousands had a bite to eat and the bluejays and cardinals got their share. The only thing wonderful about Larry, Curly, and Moe was their big, beautiful, yellow eyes!

And, Wooffer loved them very much.

When Wooffer was just a puppy, twenty-three cats lived in the yard. Cats of all colors and sizes. People who did not want their cats had been, secretly, in the dark of night, dropping them off at the gate for a long time. until there were so many cats Wooffer’s mom could not go out of the house without tripping over cats. They would all run up to her at once and ask for milk and food. She had to do something about all those cats!!! Twenty-three was just too many!!!!

So, she placed an advertisement in the newspaper which said, “FREE CATS NEED GOOD HOMES”

All week, people who wanted cats were coming to the house. By the end of the week, every cat had a new home except for Larry, Curly and Moe. No one had wanted the three homely cats.

Wooffer was glad because Larry, Curly, and Moe were his friends. They always rubbed noses with him when they saw him and let him chase them up trees. (Wooffer does love to chase).

One day, the three homely cats were laying around the dish, waiting for Wooffer’s mom to feed them, when a big yellow Tabby cat strolled nonchalantly into the yard. You would have thought a monster of the worst kind had just walked up from the way Larry, Curly, and Moe ran and hid behind the tree. Not knowing how to be cats, they did not know what to do. They all watched with their big yellow eyes as the yellow Tabby cat went right up to their dish and began to eat.

“What should we do?” said Larry.

“We should run him off, I suppose.” said Curly.

“But how?” asked Moe.

“We will just go out there and ask him to go away.” decided Larry. So they all three cautiously approached the Tabby. No one had a chance to say a thing.

The big Tabby put out his claws and gave Larry a great scratch across his nose! Larry let out an awful cry!! Curly and Moe ran under the picnic table and lay as close to the ground as they could get.

Wooffer was at the greenhouse helping his mom pull pots apart when he heard Larry’s terrible cry. He was at Larry’s side in no time at all. The big Tabby saw Wooffer running up with his long tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Wooffer pulled his lips back and showed his teeth. He was a frightening sight to see!!! Wooffer did not stop and the big Tabby took off running for his life. Wooffer chased him clear out of the yard and into the neighbors tree and would not let him come down for a very long time.

Wooffer decided that day that someone had to teach Larry, Curly, and Moe how to be cats, something Wooffer knew little about, himself.

At least, Larry had found out what claws were for, and now showed his to every other cat that came around. It was a start.






When Wooffer had promised Larry, Curly, and Moe to teach them how to be cats, he really only knew one thing about cats, and that was that they ran if he chased them.

He meant to find out all about cats so he would be a good teacher. So, early the next morning, Wooffer went out by the neighbors fence and peered through the grape vines and watched the big yellow Tabby, whose real name was Amber Jack. Amber Jack was asleep because it was very early.

Wooffer sat there for a very long time watching him, and was about to decide that all cats did was sleep, when Amber Jack got up and stretched out his front paws and all his claws, slunk his back way down, stuck his tail way up in the air and gave a great tooth-showing yawn. Wooffer watched it all and waited.

Amber Jack washed his face and combed his hair. Wooffer waited. It seemed to take cats a long time to do anything.

At last, Amber Jack was on the move. He sauntered over to the nearest tree and raised his tail and sprayed the tree. He moved on to the next tree and sprayed it. Amber Jack did not miss a single tree in his yard.

Wooffer understood what Amber Jack was doing because he did it every morning himself. He did not “spray” but he did go around and re-mark his territory each day. This was something to teach Larry, Curly, and Moe!!!

When the “How to Be a Cat” lessons began, and Larry, Curly, and Moe were paying close attention, Wooffer told them that the first thing a cat does in the morning is mark his territory. He proceeded to explain how they should go about it. They understood right away. Wooffer told them to practice marking all day and tomorrow he would tell them something new. So Larry, Curly, and Moe “marked” all the trees, the low bushes, lots of blades of grass, the fence posts, the house steps, the car tires, the burn pile, the old tractor, the pig pen, the rabbit houses, the potted plants… everything they came across that day.

The next morning, Wooffer was out looking through the grape vines and spying on Amber Jack. Larry, Curly and Moe were busy “marking” territory as instructed.

Wooffer watched Amber Jack go thourgh the same routine as the day before, stretching, yawning, and marking. Then Amber Jack stopped and froze in mid-stride, his neck went out and his body went down. His tail began to switch from side to side; his eyes were straight ahead. Wooffer tried to see what he saw. He could not.

Then, Amber Jack started to creep forward, one paw at a time, keeping very low and his eyes on something that Wooffer could not see. All the time Amber Jack’s tail was switching from one side to the other. Amber Jack was almost on his belly creeping forward. His eyes never moved. He began to hunker down to spring upon what he was watching.

That was when Wooffer saw the green lizard.

The green lizard saw Amber Jack and took off running and ran right under Wooffer’s belly!

Wooffer sat tight. (That means he did not move even with a lizard under his belly).

Amber Jack did not see where the green lizard went. He licked his paws and washed his face and tried to look like nothing had been there at all.

Wooffer and the green lizard had a few kind words and the lizard ran up the tree. Wooffer went to teach the cats what he had learned about being a cat.

It was a lesson on tail switching and slinking low down to the ground. First, Wooffer found a very large grasshopper. It was a Lubber, a great lumbering hopper that could not fly, at least not very far. He put it on a large blade of grass a few feet from the cats. He told them the game was to get as close to the hopper as they could without the hopper noticing. He showed them how to slink and creep and how to twitch their tails. They were having a good time, but the hopper noticed them every time and hopped as far as it’s great legs would allow. And soon it was nowhere to be seen. Wooffer thought Larry, Curly, and Moe were doing very well. After all, the only thing HE had ever caught was the big grasshoppers. He never hurt them, he just carried them around for a while and played with them. For him, it was all about the CHASE. He thought it was the same for cats.

Wooffer was later than usual to take his place in the grape vines the next morning. Amber Jack had already done his marking and had his bath and when Wooffer looked through the leaves and saw Amber Jack holding the green lizard down with his big front paws and saw his big sharp teeth just about to take a bite out of the green lizard, Wooffer ran as fast as he could, screaming “NOOOO!!!!!!” and ran right into the side of Amber Jack, rolling him over three times! Amber Jack was on his feet in no time and smacked Wooffer on the ears with his sharp claws four times fast. Wooffer howled! “OW, OW, OW, OW!!! YOU MEAN OLD CAT!” Wooffer was hurt.

Amber Jack stood there facing Wooffer with every hair on his body stuck straight out and his back humped up as high as he could get it, standing on his tip toes, and spat at Wooffer. His green eyes were about to pop out of his head. He was that mad!

Wooffer was trying to find the green lizard and bark at Amber Jack at the same time. He hoped the green lizard was not hurt very badly.

Amber Jack was about to give Wooffer another swipe with his claws, when Moe jumped right on his back and held on to the back of his neck! Amber Jack rolled over and was kicking Moe in the stomach with his big back feet, when Curly leaped out of the bushes and grabbed a hold on his tail. Just then, Larry appeared in front of Amber Jack and gave him a swipe across the nose with own claws, just to even the score, and Amber Jack broke loose and ran into the swamp.
Wooffer thought he had learned all he needed to know about cats for a while. Larry, Curly, and Moe never had any more trouble with Amber Jack. He went a long way out of his way to avoid meeting them. The green lizard came around about a week later and thanked Wooffer for saving her life. Larry, Curly, and Moe now knew how to be cats, thanks to Wooffer.

Love,
Betty

Dear Marie,
The avatar is of Moe. I am glad you liked the story. How are all of your many projects coming along?

Love,
Betty

Nice story even for a cat-hater.

Another of your great stories, Betty!

Just be careful that "Amber Jack" doesn't come by to upset the apple cart, or scatter papers, Marie. I find that when I put things aside they tend to get lost in the shuffle and I spend a lot of time reorganizing them. I think I need Wooffer to come help me get untangled sometimes!

I'm upset about the poor spiders being homeless.

It's okay, Dick. The spiders are very quick and crafty. Marie will be plagued almost immediately by their rebuilding.

Dear Marie,
Matilda and her family and friends lived outside my kitchen window. Every year they went on vacation and every year they came back renewed and ready for another year. I remarked to my David yesterday that I had not seen Matilda this year.

Since the building of the new house, I wondered where they would go. Today, there above the chicken's house hung Matilda. I expect Agnes and Gertrude will be somewhere close by.

I have The avatar is of Matilda.




Matilda spun her golden orb underneath the trees.
She hooked it to some Spanish moss and down to some leaves
And up to the branches as neat as you please.
She was upside down in the middle
Before the crickets lay down their fiddle.



Gertrude moved in next door and Agnes down the way.
They were ready for breakfast before the break of day.
If something would come along they could only hope and pray.
The big, golden orbs were shining in the dew,
Ready and waiting for anything that flew.



Flies and gnats and mosquitoes were everyday fare,
And a big juicy moth was a little bit rare.
They would grab it up and spin it up with great care
And hang it up high and dry, close to their lair.
No one would steal it ‘cause nobody dared.



But the best treat of all that made them feel so macha
Was a lively and brown humongous cucaracha.
Pass the salsa!!!! Por Favora!!!


Love,
Betty

Matilda sounds nice but looks mean. Better looking than, Moe, who is one ugly cat and that's saying something because all cats are ugly.

Dear Dick,
When Matilda spreads out all her legs, she is five inches across. As spiders go, she is impressive. Her web is golden silk. She is a Golden Orb Weaver. Awesome!

Love,
Betty

Delightful, dear Betty. And Matilda is lovely.

Dick all creatures are good looking to others of their own species. I have seldom seen an ugly cat, but I happen to like them! And dogs and hamsters too!

Glad you included hamsters, Zada.
Matilda may be very nice, Betty, but somehow a spider five-inches wide lacks appeal. I had a friend who visited Florida. When he went into the bathroom he came running out again yelling that there was a huge spider in there. "Oh, that's just Joe," he was told. He kept the insects away. He also kept my friend away. Maybe Joe was related to Matilda.

I think Joe was related to George! When my grands were small and came to stay with me in that old trailer, any thing or anybody might crawl out from under it or out the wood work in the house.

One night Jessica and Clayton were in the bath and I hear Jessica screech, NAAAAANAAAAA!

There on the wall of the bath stall was George, one of the big and brown Wolf spiders that are almost as big as Matilda.

I said, "Oh, that is George! He guards the shower. Don't worry, he told me you were here."

As I sat there, they had a glance at George every once in a while, but I never did. They still remember George and they are 21 now.

Love,

Betty

The avatar is George, aka, Joe.

Love,
Betty

How could anyone forget George?