This review reminds me about what is wrong with self-publishing. The drawbacks that you point out are very likely the same reason we need to self-publish instead of being picked up by a New York publisher. We can whine about the difficulty of landing an agent or publisher, but the competition is stiff. Manuscripts with errors, time flaws and inconsistencies of any nature will cause the potential agent to pause and move on to another perfect novel.
There's more to writing than telling a good story no matter how romantic we want to be about the writing process. I'll never forget the review of my novel that said, "there are no grammatical errors and it is well- written." I was not pleased. The book was published by a small press and of course is well-written with no grammatical errors - those comments are more appropriate for a self-published book. I think the reviewer thought my publisher was a vanity press (which it is not). The rest by that reviewer was complimentary but it pointed out they had read a lot of self-published books and was grateful for one well put together.
I, too, have read many vanity and self-published books. They do lack the vigorous cutting that needs to be done to tighten the plot; have distracting errors; and sometimes don't quite follow through completely. I know in my own work, I had some bits that were supposed to lead to a discovery later in the novel. Those bits just sort of hung out there - for picking up in a sequel?